scars

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Alexander has never seen John's body.  He's never seen his own boyfriends body and they have been dating for at least six months now. No it's not like they were living together they had separate dorms but they spent every weekend in one or the others dorm. Most of the time in John's dorm seeing how he lived alone and Alex is roommate's with Aaron Burr. They sincerely loved each other to death. But John was self conscious of his body and this they have discussed before. But it made Alex sad seeing how his boyfriend wasn't even comfortable taking his clothes off in front of him. He didn't know why when ever John wore skin tight things the man was thin but not too thin and clearly whenever he flexed he has abs. Johns arms where to say the least beefy. Alex would take in the moments when John did wear skin tight things. He sometimes he wished John could love his body as much as Alexander does.
  Alex wrapped his arms around John's waist as he made breakfast,  he loved seeing his boyfriend like this. Chopping ham and mushrooms while his hair fell out of the messy ass bun he made. His face smiling and him being genuinely happy. Alex stared for a good minute till John turned around with chopped mushrooms in his hands. "Excuse me Mr. Hamilton" He said in a sarcastic tone.
Alex let go off John got our of his way. John smiled and put the mushrooms in the egg. He mixed them together and started grabbing the ham. Alexander smiled he knew John was making his favorite food in the whole fucking world. John's mushroom and ham omelette. Alex only ever ate John's omelette because for one it was delicious John seasoned the omelette perfectly and second only John drenched omelettes in cheese. He smiled watching his boyfriend making him breakfast. After a few minutes John grabbed a plate and placed his omelette on it and poured cheese on it. He turned to Alex who at this point was already sitting at John's snack bar. He placed the plate in front of Alex.
"Thanks babe"
"Anytime sweetheart"
He turned back to the kitchen to make himself breakfast. He started grabbing things to make avocado toast. He started making by placing the piece of bread into is oven toaster and started cutting the avocado. He was to busy mixing in avocado and seasoning to notice Alex had finished. He felt a arms wrap his waist again as he placed the bowl to the side and turned to face his boyfriend. "You know the toast doesn't finish for another minute or two" He stated a matter if factly. Alex smiled and got on his tippy ties and pecked his boyfriends lips. God those lips Alexander could kiss them for days they were always soft and sweet as honey. He loves the feeling of John's lips. He looked closely at his boyfriends face before John leaned down and started kissing. In sync their lips moved against each other. Alex wrapped his arms around John's neck and started grabbing his hair. John snaked his hands around Alex's waist. After a minute of two of just kissing and enjoying each other lips John picked Alexander up and hoisted him onto the counter he started kissing him even harder. It went from sweet to simple lust the matter if moments and Alex wasn't complaining. He let out a hardy moan as John pressed his tongue into Alex's mouth. He felt so addicted to John's tongue inside of his mouth Alexander started grabbing harder onto John's hair. John disconnected their lips and started biting Alexander's bottom lips. Alexander let out even more moans as John moved his way down to Alexander's neck. John was kissing and licking. He occasionally bite lightly but never enough to hurt Alexander. Alexander was a moaning mess and John's hair was a tangled beyond belief. John continued kissing him he felt Alexander's hand snake onto his back and then onto the hem of his shirt. John stopped and immediately backed away. His eyes showing panic and nervousness. "The toast is ready" He said in a cold tone. Alex sat confused on the counter.
"John babe"
"Yes"
"Please take off your shirt"
"Alex pl-"
"Take off your shirt John Laurens" He said in a stren voice. John looked at him helplessly, Alexander never saw this side of John the panicked helpless side. John stared down at the floorboards. Tears threatening to inch their way out his eyelids. He nodded and started to take his shirt off. He was shaking. Alexander hated seeing him like this but there has to be a reason John gets panicky about taking his shirt off. Alexander was worried John was self harming again. He fully took off his shirt. Alexander's mouth fell open. John's chest was covered in what looked like whip scars,  his arms covered in self harm scars and scars where you could tell John had fucked up trying to put a needle in his arm. Not only that but he had the same whip marks on his arms. John wasn't even looking up, he was sobbing so much as Alexander's worried eyes examined his body. John started to turn around and walked towards the sink. His back was worse unlike his arms and chest that has scars that where fading John's back was littered with deep and permanent scars. John was sobbing even harder now.
"I didn't want to show you I hate them so much Alex I just I hate seeing you angry at me and I didn't" John stopped rambling when he felt kissing on his back. He felt Alex's chapped lips kissing every scar that marked his body. John also stopped crying. He felt Alex stop at his lower back. He felt two hands snake around his waist. He felt Alex's hands gropping his muscles. He turned around to look his boyfriend in the eye. "You know I love your abs babe you should go shirtless more often"
John just broke he grabbed his boyfriend into a hug and started crying into his hair. Alexander hugged back and after a minute of the two of crying and kissing Alexander disconnected him and John.
"Your scars are a sign of beauty and honestly just more of a sign we are meant to be together" Alexander had scars of his own but not as severe as John's. John smiled as he took his boyfriends chin and directed so their lips where connecting. Alexander smiled into the kiss. John disconnected.
"Can I finish making myself breakfast I'm starving"
Alex laughed and smiled.
"Of course I'll get dressed and get us some coffee"
John smiled as he followed Alexander to get a tank top. He grabbed one and placed it over his body Alex not minding seeing John getting dressed. "Babe I love you more then any diamond or jewel" Alexander stated.
"I love you too now get your cheesy gay ass some coffee"
A/n this will probably be my only A/N cause I think ans are cringey and no one reads them anyway. But this book will be more college au then anything.

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