one shots my dude

im not sorry

"I'm not sorry for being something I can't fucking control"
"John James Laurens we don't not use that language-"
"Oh so I can't say fucking but you can say faggot"
"Because it's a word that describes what you are"
"Dad I'm your fucking son"
"But you think your gay"
"Because I fucking am"
"No your not you are my son and no son of mine is a faggot"
"Well then I guess I'm not your fucking son"
"You take that back right now"
"Fuck you Henry"
A sudsqint slap could be heard from across the estate. John was laying on the floor grasping his his face as tears threatened their way out. He looked down as his dad walked away from him. He felt his whole face go numb. He felt his body go numb. He felt ever emotion go numb. He felt so numb.
John shot up from the covers. He looked around. He was in his room and his house. He looked next to him, his boyfriend Alexander was there still sleeping soundly. He calmed down as soon he saw Alexander's face sleeping. He layed back down and studied his face. His boyfriend had three deep scars on his face. One on his cheek. Another on his eyebrow. And last one his forehead. Alexander was beautiful when he slept. He looked at him for a few more moments before he felt his eyelids shut.
John was in his room reading a book on Darwin's theory of evaluation. He examined the pages as he he read. They where worn but smelld like his mother. He took in the scent has he continued to read. That's when John's door flew open.
"John you have a meeting we both need to go to so put the book down and get ready"
John looked at his dad he sighed as he got up and closed the door after his dad. He looked in his closet for something his dad wouldn't get mad at him for wearing. He looked around till he found a band shirt and some cameo pants. He got dressed and walked outside. He felt himself hesitate as he grab the car door handle. He sighed as he got in.
"John good god you look like a school shooter"
So much for not upsetting his dad.
They drove in silence till they got to a building. Henry got out first then John. He walked with Henry to the building. After entering and checking in John looked around. Fathers with sons. John was getting a little worried. As they waited John twirled his hair. It was growing out nicely. He was happy his dad finally stopped nagging him about his hair. A well dressed woman walked out and called out John's name. He got up, he walked with her and his dad. They walked into a white room with a table and a potted plant inside. They sat there for a little waiting. Till a man walked in.
"Hello you must be John and Henry"
Henry stood up and shook his hand.
"Yes"
"So looking over your case you said you and John have been getting into more fights since he came out gay?"
"Yes"
John looked at his father confused. Did he really set a therapy appointment for them?
"Now John looks like a straight man perhaps this a phase? "
John's face fell. His dad got him an appointment for straight therapy.
"No fuck this I'm gay dad and that's final"
"Son sit back down"
"No I'm not straight ok when are going to accept that"
A hand found it's way to his face. A slap. He John felt his cheek burning.
John for the second time woke up in sweat. This time he was on the verge of tears he looked at his alarm clock. It was 4 am he had two hours till he had to go to work anyway. He got out of bed checking on Alexander. He was still sleeping. John got up and walked to the kitchen, he started putting coffee grounds in the coffee machine. As soon as he finished he went back to he's and Alexander's room. He closed the door behind him and looked at the full length mirror. He's was in nothing but boxers. He looked at his neck. Hickeys showing evidence if the night activities before. He looked down more his chest was still covered with hideous scars. His arms still showing evidence of his junkie days. He looked down at his thighs they weren't bad just a few scars from being a dumb reckless kid. But nothing bad. He heard the bed sheets moving, he turned back to see his boyfriend sitting up with a sleepy face.
"Babygirl are you ok?"
"No your not in bed with me"
Alexander raised his arms out to hug his boyfriend. John smiled as he accepted his boyfriends wants and walked towards him. He got into bed and hugged him. He grabbed Alexander and placed him on his chest. Alexander laid on his chest as he began tracing the scars on John's chest. After a minute or two of the two laying there quietly admiring each other till John's phone went off. John reached over to his night stand and picked up his phone.
Henry: I'm coming to...
John insetly knew it was going to be a bad message when his father's name showed up. He opens his phone to read the message.
Henry: I'm coming to visit soon for a political campaign. I'm in a desert right now so this message will be late. I still would like to talk about therapy for your sickness. I hope Alexander has found a lovely wife and I'm sure you will too son.
John slammed his phone into the night stand. He was about to do it again when he felt Alexander's hand grasp onto his own.
"Babe"
"I'm sorry babygirl I know I was doing good it's just Henry texted me"
Alexander stopped him by kissing him. After a minute of the two of just kissing each other. Alexander disconnected and looked at him straight in the eye.
"You know your dad shouldn't make you apologize for who you are"
"I'm not sorry to be gay or to be with you"
Alexander smiled before kissing his boyfriends lips and head. He loved him more then then world could know.