Fools

Chapter 1 - Shooting star

Late August 2019

The crowd cheered and drowned out the city sounds. They screamed names and declarations of love between unidentifiable shrieks, but at some point it had simply become noise.
Noise that V wouldn't have changed for anything in the world. As he walked behind his other team members towards the hotel, he stopped for a moment to take it all in.
Where was he? Buenos Aires? Lima? Santiago?
The world had become smaller, as countries and continents fused together and became one long flight. The time spent in each place wasn't enough to distinguish them anymore.
A few days ago, they had been in Rio de Janeiro, commencing the South American leg of their tour. V was sure of that because he had learned how to say 'I love you' in Portuguese just before the concert and they even had been able to visit the Christ statue.
He still couldn't believe it. The lifestyle of shuttling between hotels, airplanes and the stage was still so new. The only thing that didn't change with each country were the adoring fans, waiting to celebrate their idols.
V smiled, tilting his head back. Above him the night sky revealed a few stars which were bright enough to outshine the city lights. They seemed so small, no bigger than dots on a black canvas.
V remembered nights, lying outside on the grass, the group members next to him and starring at these same stars. They would lie there for hours, either talking or dreaming or even falling asleep. The cold air would make them shiver and their bodies would be exhausted to the point of being unable to stand up. But they would stare at those stars and be reminded of their dream and somehow find the way to lift themselves up again.
Now they were becoming those stars on the night sky, outshining the city lights.
A hand on his shoulder brought V out of his thoughts. Spice was standing in front of him, his head bent to one side and a soft smile on his lips.
"Let's go inside daydreamer."
V nodded and started walking again, interlocking his arms with Spice's.
"Are we the same?", he asked him.
Confused, Spice laughed at him. It wasn't the harsh laugh he heard, when someone made fun of him. Spice wouldn't do that. He was cotton candy, waffles and syrup, double chocolate fudge brownies with ice-cream. Alone the thought of him hurting someone purposely seemed as likely as getting hit by lightning.
"I mean...you know...from before", V tried to explain. He lowered his head and sighed.
"Are we different because we are famous now?", Spice asked.
V nodded and walked through the doors to join the rest of their friends and group members in the elevator.
"In some parts definitely. How could we not have changed? Just look at A. He is so far away from being that shy little kid."
Spice laughed when Angel kicked him.
"But on the other hand", he continued. "We stayed the way we were. I will always prefer a cup of instant noodles with all of you in that tiny room to a fancy six course meal at the Hilton alone."
"Praise the instant noodles. Keeping me alive since 1993", Daemian said in the back.
Spice had a point. They hadn't completely changed. Daemian and Caederyn still spent most of their time writing songs. They lived for music and breakthrough or not, they would always be passionate about their lyrics.
Shane was still as caring as he had been the first day they met. He always took care of them and made sure everyone else around him was healthy and happy.
Spice still gave his best every day. He always worked way past midnight, perfecting his dance moves and vocals, never quite satisfied.
Maybe Angel had changed the most out of the six. He was the youngest though, so that wasn't too surprising. The others had always had a big influence on him.
And how about V? Sometimes he wasn't sure if he had really changed that much. Was he still afraid of tomorrow? Would he ever not be?

V spun around on his chair as the lights were switched off and his group members entered the room with a cake. The candles illuminated their faces as they were coming towards him, letting shadows dance on the wall.
V starred at his friends, eyes wide open and jaw dropped.
"Happy birthday to you..." Shane, Angel and Spice were in perfect harmony, their voices complementing each other, able to even transform the birthday song into art. At the same time Caederyn and Daemean were so off-key, V couldn't help but chuckle.
He blew out the lights, the typical scent of candle smoke and darkness immediately filling the room.
In-between slaps on the back and V's hairstyle getting messed up, he managed to thank his friends, receiving congratulations from each member.  
"Happy happy birthday."
"Congrats Bro. Don't get wasted tonight!"
"21, man. Lets paaarty!"
"I wish you all the best."
Lastly Shane was next to V.
"Happy birthday, brother. Here is to another amazing year together." The oldest embraced him tightly and pushed him towards the table.
"I can't believe he is legal everywhere now. I doubt this will end well", Caederyn said loud enough for everyone to hear, a grin taking over his face.
V turned around, his lips tightly pressed together.
"Oh, don't worry", he said. "As long as I stay away from you nothing will break."
Caederyn tried to kick V, but the younger boy managed to run behind Angel, using his friend's body as a shield from Caederyn's wraith.
"Now, now children", Angel chimed in, his arms stretched to both sides.
Caederyn grinned back at him.
"You two will always be the babies in the group. That won't change with V turning 21, nor will it when you do the same."
V stepped up next to Angel, placing his arm around his friend's shoulder and whispered into his ear.
"At least we have an excuse to behave childish. What's his?"
"What's his excuse for anything?"
Angel and V sat down at the table, where Shane had placed the cake. It was a cheesecake with berries on top. Cutting the cake V passed each member a slice. The juice flowed down on the sides and dyed them red. It was his favorite dessert. 
"So what did you get me?", V asked.
"Spoiled much?", Caederyn teased, reaching behind and picking up a wrapped box. It turned out to be new sneakers from Adidas, the black and white stripes on the sides giving them a sleek look.
Next was Shane. Proudly he presented V with a matching training suit displaying the same black and white stripes.
They never used to give each other gifts. They had never had enough money.
Spice came over and placed his gift on V's lap. 
"You better appreciate this. I still don't know how I had time to make it."
V lifted the lid and found a picture with 6 boys staring back at him. It was them. On their first day together as a proper band.
V picked up the scrapbook and turned a few pages, finding more pictures of his past glued in next to some writing. He closed the book.
"I...ahm...thanks", he said, looking down. Of course Spice would think of something like this. He was the best at giving gifts.
"Now don't you get emotional on me." Spice punched his arm. "It's not every day a guy turns 21. You should celebrate!" 
Spice jerked him up from the chair and towards the middle of the room. The music started playing and Caederyn gave V a glass of champagne, before they all toasted to a great night.
The bitter liquid ran down V's throat and resulted in goosebumps on his body. 
What was the charm of champagne anyhow?
V took another sip and closed his eyes, letting the music guide him. The voices of the Chainsmokers, Ed Sheeran and the like told him about love and living and V sang along to every single lyric about heartbreak and forgiveness. At some point of the night he even started dancing the Macarena, convincing the other members to join him. Daemean's interpretation proved that with alcohol shame disappeared.
After the forth glass of champagne and countless songs, V found himself exhausted back on his chair. Across the room Angel and Spice were playing a children's game on the floor, while Caederyn and Shane were having a semi-serious conversation about anime characters. Daemian sat on the chair next to him, flicking through the pictures in the scrapbook.
"We look young", Daemean said. V leaned over to take a closer look.
"You look the same", he teased.
The next picture was a shot of Angel and V smiling up at the camera, with V's arm around his friend's shoulder. It wasn't that old, maybe from a few months back. It had been taken during a short break from dancing practice. 
"Just look at that grin on your face. How were you that happy after practice?", Daemian asked.
"I'm always happy."
It wasn't necessarily true. V wasn't always happy. But he tried to be. Even if it meant smiling for the sake of smiling.
V tried to remember why he had been happy in the picture.
He had been exhausted and every part of his body had ached, the sweat drenching his clothes with salty water. The moment the choreographer had allowed them to catch their breath, he had collapsed on the floor. Angel had made his way towards him and with V lying on the ground, they had started to play thumb wars. At one point V had squeezed Angel's hand, resulting in Angel crying out in pain. Giggling V had released him. However, the younger boy had wrestled V and managed to pin his small body on the floor, tickling him mercilessly. The photo had been taken a few moments later, showing the reconciled friends resting against the wall.
V shifted his gaze towards his two friends playing.
Angel always managed to cheer him up for some reason.
Angel looked up and for a few seconds their eyes interlocked, the dark blue starring back at him. 
Angel had amazing eyes. 
V titled his head sideways.
Did he always look this handsome?
Suddenly V's view started to blur and the room started spinning slightly.
"Hey, birthday boy", Daemian said, snapping V out of his thoughts. "Did the alcohol freeze your body?"
V blinked a view times and his view focused again. He was still starring at Angel. His heart rate increased and he looked away.
"What? Why? I...I just need water", V said, grasping for words, before getting up from his chair. He wobbled and grabbed onto the table. 
Stupid stupid alcohol.
Wordless, Daemian passed him a water bottle and V took a big sip. 
When was the last time he drank something nonalcoholic?
Gulping down the water, he steadied himself.
So what if he thought Angel was handsome. It had simply been an observation. He was overreacting.
His eyes fell towards the unopened presents next to his untouched slice of cake. Tugging the bottle under his arm he picked them and the plate up and went outside onto the balcony.
V placed his belongings on a table next to him and stepped to the edge, his hands tightly gripping the railing. 
He shouldn't drink. Why did he drink that much? 
The fresh air helped clear his mind. He took a few deep breaths, his eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness and his mind focusing on the present. The wind blew through his hair and he could hear a country song playing inside.
After a while V released his grip on the metal bar and opened Daemian's present.
A painting. The brush strokes covered the canvas in blue colors, showing the viewer a stormy ocean at night.
V stroked over the rough paint edges and traced the form of the waves.
Daemian was a great painter, capturing not only the different shades of colors but a mood.
V placed the picture down carefully and took a small box into his hands. It was from Angel. He took the lid off the box and found a beaded stone bracelet inside. It was made up of almost transparent white moonstones and one single black onyx.
V immediately recognized it. It belonged to a matching pair of bracelets the group had seen in Scotland a few weeks ago. Angel had bought the black onyx bracelet for himself and constantly wore it.
Carefully V striped the bracelet on and unfolded a note, which lay beneath.
Embrace the darkness and absorb the light. Treasure the ordinary and search for the unique. For neither can exist without the other. 
Suddenly the balcony door fell into its lock and Spice stood next to V.
"Oh, sweet. Isn't that the matching bracelet to A's?", Spice asked excited.
V nodded, quickly closing the box again, hiding the note back inside.
"Yeah, it is", he said. "They symbolize never being alone or something. Because the white bracelet has a piece of the black and the other way."
"Well then its perfect for you", Spice said, letting himself fall on one of the chairs.
He was right. V hated being alone.
"But no matter how nice his gift is", Spice continued, "we need to find a way to stop that kid."
V laughed. "What did he do now?"
"He keeps beating me in all games."
"He has always beat you in games. All of us have", V teased.
"But now he has destroyed me in arm wrestling", Spice said in a serious tone, resulting in V chuckling.
"I am serious. If he keeps going to the gym, we are dead", Spice said, shaking his head defeated.
"We better prepare for the end then."
V pulled a chair towards him and sat down, placing a piece of his birthday cake in his mouth. The sweet and sour mixture of the red cheesecake was the perfect combination and melted as soon as it touched his tongue. He ate another piece and looked up, his cheeks puffed up like a chipmunk's.
Spice rolled his eyes at him. "Silly billy."
Swallowing his food, V pushed the cake towards Spice.
"I'm good," Spice said, shaking his head and pushing the plate back.
"You didn't even try it." 
"Wasn't hungry."
V knew that was a lie. Spice had barely eaten all day. He held a fork with cake in front of his friend.
"It's delish." 
Sighing Spice placed the fork in his mouth.
"Happy?"
V nodded. He had noticed that Spice's eating behavior had changed over the past year. But then again they all watched what they ate. After all, they had cameras on them every day and a few pounds too much could break a career in the industry.
V took the plate and scooched down in his seat, propping his legs on Spice's lap.
Maybe he was worrying about nothing. Everyone went on diets. Everyone sacrificed for their dreams. V knew that better than anyone. There were specific standards that they were expected to live by and it was either play by the rules or stop playing.
The friends starred up at the stars like they had used to, both in their own thoughts. Slowly the night sky started lightening and Spice shifted his gaze past V to watch the sun rise.
V didn't turn around to look at the orange and red horizon. His focus stayed on the sky above him. There was something intriguing about watching the stars fade.