Fools

Chapter 4 - All beginnings are hard

Spring 2011

Every day after school, all the boys from Young Entertainment made their way to the dance studio. Most students found this part of their day the most difficult. And when V saw the more advanced dancers rehearse the choreography for the first time, V could understand why.
Spice of course belonged to one of the best. He had had dance classes since he had been three. His favorite and best style was modern dance. Spice always said that dancing expressed any emotion you wanted and the movements had to flow with the music, letting it guide you. V had tried modern dance once. He had fractured his wrist.
After a few days of learning the choreography however, V surprised himself. It turned out that he wasn’t as bad in picking up the basic hip moves as he had been in modern dance. He wasn’t great, but he was improving.
Three weeks in, walking to the dance studio had become V's favorite part of the day and it wasn’t just because it meant the end of school.
“This is exactly what I need”, V said, munching on chocolate covered brezels and handing Spice the bag.
Spice took a handful of the sweets himself.
“Just don’t eat too many", he said "Remember we have the evaluations soon."
V grabbed the bag again.
“Who cares. Food is life”, he said grinning and stuffed as many brezels in his mouth as he could.
"Mhhm mhmhmhm mmhhm."
Spice laughed. "What did you say?"
V swallowed his food.
"Race you to the studio." With those words, V started sprinting the last meters to the companies building. His backpack bounced up and down, the books digging into V's back and the cold air cut like a knife every time V took a breath, but he still pushed harder when Spice overtook him.
In front of V, Spice touched the wall of the building, spinning around grinning. But V wasn’t going to accept defeat. He ran past him and pushed the door open.
“I said studio”, V said rushing inside, Spice following him immediately.
There however he came to a screeching halt and the other crashed into him.
In front of them was the company’s CEO next to a tall man and a teenage boy. All three turned and looked at V and Spice, the CEO giving them a stern look.
V had met the CEO once, on the day of his audition. He had been the one who had suggested V try out. That day he had seemed very kind and relaxed. Today he didn’t.
V swallowed hard. They were in trouble.
“S…s…sorry", V said bowing his head and grabbing onto Spice's jacket sleeve behind him.
The CEO shook his head. “Don't be late to class”, he said strict and turned back around to his guests.
V and Spice nodded and quickly walked to the elevator.
“That’s what you get for cheating”, Spice whispered, pushing the button.
V ignored the comment. He turned his head to watch the three people walk towards him. The CEO was talking to the men, while the boy was trotting behind.
“Hurry up, elevator”, V whispered under his breath. He didn't want to stand in that tiny space with the CEO.
The elevator binged and opened the doors. V quickly pushed Spice inside and pressed the button for the second floor. The doors started to close and V sighed in relief.
“Hold up”, the CEO called, his arm poking in through the doors. Spice pushed the door opening button and shot V an apologetic look.
V scooched back and over to Spice to make room. He held his head down and only glanced at the others through his hair. The other man was as tall as the CEO. He was slim, had black gelled back hair and wore a suit which probably had cost more than all of V's belongings together.
The teenage boy on the other hand was crouched together and looked at the floor. V thought he must be the man's child, but he exhibited none of his dad's confidence. He looked as uncomfortable as V felt.
The elevator binged again and V waited with Spice until the others had left. He walked out into the hallway and sighed.
“Do you think he will start here?” V asked, watching the CEO enter the office with his guests.
“The boy?” Spice shrugged his shoulders. “Seems like it.”
They walked over to the dance class and started stretching. Shane and Caederyn joined them a few minutes later. While Caederyn studied philosophy, Shane was enrolled in three acting classes, including Shakespearean plays, acting techniques and cold reading. V envied him and had decided to take some acting classes as well once he had graduated from school.
The other students slowly filled the room, followed by two dance instructors. They went over the routine they had been practicing and V enjoyed being able to get out of his head and focus on steps.
After an exhausting two hours, V lay on the floor, his eyes closed and his chest heaving. He could hear Caederyn and Shane bicker about who was the worst dancer next to him and smiled.
“Let's agree, you are both terrible”, Daemeon suddenly teased and V opened his eyes to look at him.
Daemeon usually stayed by himself in the dorm, but he joined their small group during their classes. He was mostly quiet, but V had learned that Daemeon and Caederyn shared their interest in writing songs and rapping and often exchanged feedback.
Spice came over and pulled V up from the floor.
“Let's go. I don't want to be late to vocal class”, Spice urged.
The group made their way over and sat down in their chairs. Apart from school, this was the one class V felt lacking in skill the most. Never in his life had he been around so many talented students and he wasn’t sure he would ever be able to sing on stage.
“You have gotten great with those deep notes", Jin told him while they waited for class to start. “Not many here get even close to your range.”
“But I keep messing up. My voice shakes and…”, V frowned.
“Small buts. Believe me. You are here to learn those things. Talent though they can't teach.”
Maybe Jin was right. He was glad he could count on the advice from an older student. Spice always tried to lift V's mood as well, but he didn't feel confident enough in singing himself to help V with it.
“Maybe drop out now, V” Jisu’s voice suddenly appeared next to them. “Before you embarrass yourself at your evaluation.”
Jerk.
V lowered his head, biting the inside of his cheek.  He was dreading the evaluation.
Daemeon sighed dramatically, shaking his head.
“People like you are the reason I am on medication”, he said.
Jisu snorted and walked off, joining another roommate, Minik. He whispered something in his ear, before both turned towards V grinning.
Jisu and Minik seemed to enjoy picking on V. They had realized his insecurities fast and made it a game to feed them. Neither of them were the best in any class, but they were good enough to affect V's confidence. He tried not to show it, but the others had started picking up on it.
“We should call them the evil twins”, Shane said.
“How about double trouble”, interjected Caederyn.
V laughed. “Bonnie and Clyde.”
Spice elbowed him in the side playfully. “Bonnie is a girl though”, he laughed.
“And Jisu acts like one", V grinned. He wouldn't let them bring him down today.
When he looked up again, he noticed the new kid standing at the door. The young boy looked down shy, his hair falling over his eyes and his hands tightly pressed in his pockets.
V jumped up from the floor and walked over to him. It wasn't even a month ago that he had been the new kid and it had been hard enough, even with Spice. 
“I'm V. Nice to meet you.” He smiled at the boy, when he met his eyes. They were a  beautiful dark blue, giving a perfect contrast to his black hair.
“Hi...Angelo.” He quickly looked away again. “Or Angel.”
"Come on, I'll introduce to the others," V urged, grabbing Angel's arm and pulling him forward. Once they were in front of Shane, the boy moved a step away from V, freeing his arm and sticking it back into his pocket. 
Spice stood up and grinned at them both.
"Akio", he introduced himself. "But you can call me Spice." He punched V's arm and gave him a stern look. "And I apologize for him being so rude. He doesn’t understand the concept of personal space."
V didn't even grace that with an answer. He was so used to Spice teasing him, but he didn't mind it. In fact, he had missed it when they had been apart.
Angel nodded and looked at the floor. “Angel", he mumbled his name again.
"And that's Caederyn, Shane and Daemean ", Spice continued, the first two boys nodding friendly at the mention of their names.
"He takes a while to defrost", V added when Daemean starred blankly at the boy.
"It actually scares me when he acts friendly", mumbled Caederyn. “Because I am 100% sure, it is a trap to kill you.”
“Believe me, if I wanted to kill you, I wouldn’t need a trap", Daemean said, a smirk on his face.
V saw Angel smile for a second before the younger went back to starring at the floor. V was about to say something else when the teacher entered the classroom and everyone went to their assigned seats.
The instructor, a man in his 40s, scarred V. His name was Fredereik Convernish and due to his accent and muscular build, V always imagined that he used to be part of a Russian spy organization. Probably an assassin, fast and quiet, leaving a trail of victims behind him.
A shiver went through V and he brushed the thoughts away. It was enough to get scrutinized by him, he didn't need to imagine him slicing someone's throat as well.
“Today we will work on our breathing techniques”, Fredereik said with a thick accent. He passed out a few papers before he went to sit at the piano. “Watch at what point you breath in and out when going over the notes.”
He started playing and V closed his eyes, concentrating on his chest rising and falling. He had difficulty keeping a long note steady, but at the end of the lesson he felt a bit more confident.
“I want you all to do this exercise daily. Only then you might be able to sing and dance without a shaky voice”, Fredereik said. He then waved over at Angel, indicating him to come to the front.
The new boy quickly stood up and walked to the front. He still kept his head down and V wondered if maybe it had to do with the strong persona his dad seemed to be or simply because of his age, which V guessed at around 15. It was actually cute that he was so shy, yet wanted to become a performer.
“I would like you all to pay attention to ahm…Angelo. Watch the way he breathes at the correct moments", Fredereik said before turning to the piano again. “The one from your audition”, he told Angel and started playing.
V was surprised. He hadn't had to perform on his first day here. The poor boy must have been taken by surprise as well, because he starred up at Fredereik shocked.
V almost chuckled at the boys expression, his wide eyes worthy of being a meme, but he knew better than to make the other feel even more uncomfortable.
The teacher started playing again and immediately the boy started humming, his eyes directed to the back of the classroom. It was as if the moment he heard the melody he had become a different person. The song was by the artist Justin Bieber and called ‘Nothing like us' and V had heard some of the students cover it a few times, yet none had come close to the way this boy performed it.
Angel's voice was filled with emotion, every breath he took telling the story of the song. While Jin's voice was silvery, clear and pleasant, and Spice's was angelic and bright, Angel’s was soulful, leaving the class in a state of awe. How such a young boy could deliver a song in such a haunting and beautiful way, was beyond V.
The song ended, releasing everyone out of their trance. Some students clapped while others, including Minik and Jisu, sat back, evaluating the boy. Spice nudged V in the side. He was starring at Angel, mouth open, the typical blank expression on his face that he got when he was in thought.
“He's great", Spice whispered to him. V nodded. There was no doubt in his mind, if only one boy in this class had a chance to debut as a singer, it was Angel.

Since all students were exempt from afternoon activities and tutorials which normal high schools held, it meant that they had to study in the little free time they had on weekends or late at night.
Every day after practice, V and the other students stayed in the studio and finished their homework or studied. But after an hour or two, when most were done and had left to go back to their dorm, V was nowhere near finished. He and Spice were generally the last once to head home and back at the dorm V would sit in the kitchen and continue.
“I seriously doubt I will use trigo whatever in my life ever”, V complained after an hour of failed attempts to understand his math book.
“That fact won't get you out of writing the test tomorrow”, Caederyn said.
The two boys were sitting at the kitchen table late at night, the other trainees already asleep in their beds. Caederyn had noticed the lights on and wouldn’t go back to sleep until V felt confident for his test.
“Try this question one more time”, Caederyn encouraged V.
Reluctantly the boy read the math question and scribbled down the main information. Caederyn had told him to break long questions down into smaller parts.
“Ok, so the angel is 90 degrees. So then side A must be…ahm…” V let his head fall down on the table. He would never understand this. There were too many rules – law of sines and cosines and some guy called Pythagoras.
Wait, if the triangle was a right triangle then Pythagoras theory should work.
V lifted his head again and looked over at Caederyn.
“I think I get it!”, he yelled and started scribbling in his notebook.
“The length of A can be calculated by Pythagoras formula - a2 + b2 = c2. So then A is 10 meters long?”
Caederyn slapped V's back.
“See, I told you, you can do this”, the older boy said. “Now just do one more and we can go to sleep.”
This time V didn’t mind Caederyn pushing him. He could do this. He would ace the test tomorrow.
Twenty minutes later, V was cuddled up in his bed. It was nice that Caederyn had stayed up with him. Why had he though? He must have had something better he could have done. Sleep for example.
The only other person who had helped him before was Spice. And that boy had been falling asleep long before they had even gotten back to the dorm. V still had to practically force him to leave him alone to study.
But Spice was different. They had known each other for years. Caederyn had no reason to help him. Yet he had.
It was weird for V when he realized how much he had started relying on other people. He had never been one to judge anyone or distrust people, in fact he was very open and sought out others, but after he had moved away from Spice, he hadn't let himself get too attached to anyone, much less rely on them.
But suddenly he had Spice again. A boy he used to trust with his life and apparently still did. There was Caederyn, who always knew what to do and didn't hesitate to help, and Shane, who always made sure the others were feeling well and put their wellbeing above his own. Yes, even Damneon belonged to his group of people he suddenly craved to be around.
V fell asleep soon after, exhaustion taking over, but he kept waking up, due to the nervousness of test. At one point he realized the sun has already and gave up on rest
V opened his eyes, his senses slowly coming back to him and heard some shuffling outside of the room. He sat up and looked around, everyone was still in their beds, even Spice. He didn't want to wake anyone so he silently got out of bed and walked to the door, wearing only his boxers.
As V opened the door, he spotted Angel in the middle of the hallway, getting dressed. It was a awkward moment, with the other suddenly looking up, one leg in a pair of shorts, completely frozen and starring at V with large eyes comparable to deer, moments before it runs.
V cleared his throat and gave the boy a soft smile. “Hey", he said with a husky voice, immediately coughing to get the frog out of his throat.
“Hi", Angel responded and lowered his head, quickly pulling up his pants and grabbing his shirt from the floor.
V couldn’t help but notice that the other was skinny. Not in way where his bones stuck out skinny, but he simply looked small and the baggy clothes he was putting on didn’t help.
“I always wanted to tell you, you have an amazing voice”, V said and walked closer to the other, keeping his voice low.
Angel looked up and scratched the back of his neck. “Thanks", he said and a smile actually appeared on his lips, looking at V still awkwardly.
V chuckled. “You look like a bunny afraid of a tiger or something”, he said what he was thinking.
Angel grinned at that and looked down again. “That would mean you are the tiger”, he said and walked past V to the kitchen, giving him a glance when he was right next to him. “And tigers generally don’t eat bunnies.”