Fools

Chapter 2 - Here's to the ones that dream

March 2015

The snowfall had finally stopped when V stepped out of the bus. It crunched under his boots, but at least he wouldn’t get wet. Why was it still so cold? He couldn't wait for spring to finally come.
V thanked the driver, the doors closing behind him. Holding on to his bag tightly he walked down the street, the sound of his steps only interrupted by one of the few passing cars. 
He pulled the top of his jacket closer around his neck. He should have worn a scarf. 
Luckily V didn’t have to walk far. The 20 minutes was nothing compared to the times he had spent in the cold before, so it wasn’t the winter air that made him shiver when he stopped in front of a bulky building.
V dropped his bag on the floor, sticking his hands in his jacket pockets and bit his lip. The color of the building had started to turn grey and the rain drains were rusty. The glass windows were covered in ice crystals and the few trees on the lawn were overgrown.
V closed his eyes and swallowed hard.
This was it. His new life. Young Entertainment – a small music label which was trying to find the next idols. They continuously recruited talented teenagers across the country and trained them, hoping that a few would stand out. If they did, they were given the chance to debut as a solo artist or together with others as a group.
A few weeks ago V had watched the auditions in his town. He had heard about a music company looking for new talent and had thought it would be interesting to see who would try out.  One of the men wearing a black suit had noticed him and had asked whether he wanted to try his luck as well. That day had changed everything.
He wasn’t sure what they saw in him or what they hoped he could become, but now, here he was. Signed by Young Entertainment as a trainee, hoping they wouldn't change their mind.
By the time V opened his eyes again he managed to smile. He wouldn’t enter with a frown.
Picking up his bag, he walked into the multistory building. The security guard barely looked up from his newspaper.
“Floor 3, last door left”, he said, pointing towards the elevator. 
V followed the instructions, although after a glance at the lift he decided to take the stairs instead. 
The third floor looked no different than the rest of the building. The paint was coming off the walls and the cold air smelled musty and wet. A brown carpet covered the corridor leading to a range of doors. 
Was this really the right decision? Maybe he should just take the bus back home and…
But he had no home anymore. He hadn't had a home since his grandmother had passed away and he had moved in with his parents. He loved them, but he didn’t know them. Between them working 24/7 and him growing up in a different city, there hadn't been much time to build a strong relationship. 
And what would his future be? Would he become a farmer like his farther? Crippling his body for just enough money to bring food onto the table? There had to be more than that in the cards for him. 
Neighbors had told his parents that he was lucky to pass the auditions. But luck was something shallow men believed in. His grandmother had taught him that he could never rely on the world giving him lemons. He had to earn them. And then he had to make lemonade. Because why else would he want lemons?
No, coming here had been the right decision. V wasn’t going to waste his chance.
Walking down the corridor, he could hear music coming out of one of the rooms. The door was slightly open and out of curiosity he peeked inside.
It was covered in mirrors and in the middle a boy with blond hair was dancing. His body moved fast and strong, defying gravity with jumps that left V starring, jaw dropped. 
The boy's body movements were so beautiful and it seemed effortless when he pirouetted and leaped through the air, yet full of emotions. Every movement was clear and strong, the beat of the music following the boy rather than the other way around.
The song ended and left the blonde heaving for air. He looked up and saw V standing in the doorway.
“Katsu?”, he asked. 
V hadn't heard that name in months. He focused on the face of the boy.
“Akio?”
Without further warning, the boy jumped up from the floor and ran towards V. Dropping his bag, V opened his arm and caught Akio, wrapping his arms around him.
The last time he had seen Akio was at the funeral of his grandmother. Akio had stood next to him, holding his hand through it all, not caring about the tears running down his friend’s face. There had been nothing he could have done to take away the pain V had been feeling, but he had reminded him that he wasn't alone - until the moment his parents had taken him to their home, ripping the friends apart with miles of country side between them.
Akio released V and punched him.
"Au!" The pain shot through V's arm and he immediately rubbed the spot. 
"That’s for leaving me." 
"Wasn't my fault", V mumbled. He wasn't sure he had missed the bruises. "What are you doing here?"
"I guess my dancing finally paid off. Or at least someone thought I should be given a chance to train professionally.”
"That's awesome!" V embraced his friend once more.
"Wait." Akio pushed him off. "If you are here, that means...", he said, his eyes doubling in size.
V couldn’t believe it either. He would be back together with his best friend, living their dream they had had as kids. 
But first he needed to hand in his papers. Akio locked his arm with V's and walked him to the administrations office. The elderly women behind the desk crunched her nose and handed him a folder with his name on it.
“The 2nd floor is filled with the dancing studios and smaller rooms for study or singing classes. You can book any of them on the weekends. The 3rd and 4th floor are closed to our trainees. You'll move in to Lui apartments on street 168.” She searched through the mess on her table, before handing him a key. “Flat 3."
"Thanks."
“Anything else?”, she asked, her eyes fixed on her computer screen. 
A smile. 
V shook his head and walked out the door. 
"The building isn't too far from here", Akio told V, as they walked towards it. “The company rents an apartment with two bedrooms for all students that don't have family in town. They throw together 5 or 6 of us in each room and hope we won't kill each other. But you get used to the invasion of personal space after a while."
V didn't mind. When he had been younger, he and Akio had been in a summer camp for two months. He had loved spending the time with other kids his age. They had been divided into teams of ten and each group had shared a hut. There had always been someone to play with or talk to. At night they had all huddled together, telling ghost stories and making plans on how to beat the other teams. Yet somehow V had slept better than he had had ever before.
Akio navigated V through his schedule. The under 18 year olds had to attend academic classes from 6:30am to 12pm and keep their grades above average. Failure to do so reflected bad on the company and ended in expulsion. 
Dance practice was from 1pm until 3pm followed by a 15-minute break, vocal and music lessons until 7pm, dinner and another dance practice or workout until 11pm. At least that was the official schedule, Akio informed him. As he had learned, it wasn't seldom that the singing teacher demanded another hour of 'do re me fa sol' or the dance instructors simply continued until they were satisfied. 
The weekends were a bit more relaxed, which was the reason why Akio had been in the dance studio on his own. But often they had to attend acting classes or lectures about stage presence and group discussions.
"It's hard", Akio admitted. "But it will be worth it."  
V agreed. This wouldn't be easy. He had never had that delusion. He had heard stories of students from similar labels that had quit because they couldn’t handle the lack of sleep and social life. He also knew that he would have to pass the bi-monthly evaluation tests. The probability of failing was therefor a lot higher than being on stage even once. 
"Hey, don't worry", Akio said, guessing what his friend was thinking about it. "We can do this. You and I. Together."
“Glad you're here”, V said smiling. There wasn’t anyone he would have rather started this journey with. 
The buildings next to the street started to change the longer they walked. Balconies decorated the walls and here and there graffiti appeared. The street intersections increased and the bus stops became more frequent.
“Do you miss land?”, V asked when they entered one of the buildings.  
“Land? The country?”, Akio asked grinning. “Sometimes. But the city is great too. If you know where to look.”
V wasn't so sure he would feel that way too. He loved the countryside with its big open spaces, large fields and the ocean. And the air was so much fresher there. 
The boys entered the apartment, loud voices and noise already ringing through to them. They took of their shoes and jackets in a small corridor, the only furniture in it a coat rack.
“You can sleep in the same room I do. One of the beds there has been empty for two weeks", Akio said pointing towards the end of the hall.
Suddenly one of the other doors swung open. A boy who was maybe as old as V came out, his hands raised and his face flushed.
"You can keep that advice to yourself Mr. Know-it-all!", he yelled. He slammed the door shut, turned around and pushed past V, before grabbing his jacket and storming out of the flat.
Akio looked over at V and rolled his eyes. 
"Jisu. Thinks he deserves the royal treatment. Unfortunately we share a room with him.”
“Maybe he just ate the same thing that office woman did. These people really need to cheer up”, V said, before following Akio into the room Jisu had just left.
On one side was a small kitchen with a table and chairs and on the other side two sofas. Two tall boys were standing by the stove and turned around when they entered.
"I thought we would get a new face soon", the one holding a stirring spoon said smiling at V. "I'm Shane.”
“Hi, I'm V.”
The other boy walked towards V and shook his hand.
“My name is Caederyn. It is nice to meet you. Why don't you join us for lunch.”
Akio put his arm around V's shoulder and walked towards the table.
“He is the Know-it-all. But most of the time you forget he has an IQ of 160”, Akio teased, pointing at Caederyn.
“Actually it is 149”, Caederyn corrected.
“149?”, V asked, sitting down on one of the chairs. “Shouldn't you be a doctor or physicist?”
Caederyn laughed. “That is what my parents believed as well. After a while though they accepted that I won't be spending the next 10 years studying.”
“You still attend university classes”, Shane said, placing a bowl with food on the table.
“I study philosophy because I like it.”
“You study philosophy in order to keep your parents happy”, Shane told him.
“Can't I enjoy something my parents don’t disapprove of?”
Akio nudged V, getting his attention, and leaned over to whisper into his ear,
“Those two can bicker all day, but I think it's their way of showing how much they care about each other.”
Akio could be right. Even though Shane was disagreeing with Caederyn, neither seemed mad or annoyed. It reminded V of discussions he had seen between his grandparents.
“Just eat your food”, Shane told Caederyn, filling the plates with a stew he had cooked, the smell of curry and ginger overpowering those of all other ingredients.
He turned towards V.
“So, where are you from?”, Shane asked.
“I grew up in a small town in the south. I lived with my grandparents”, V said, before pointing at Akio. “We have been neighbors since I was three.”
“It is incredible that you two have known each other that long. You never told us you had such a good looking friend, Spice”, Caederyn said.
“Spice?”, V asked confused, glancing over at Akio.
"Don’t ask", Akio answered, hiding his face with his hands and shaking his head.
Shane and Caederyn laughed.
“We were talking about stage personas in a lecture a few weeks back”, Shane explained. “Akio decided he wanted a stage name and well since then Spice just kinda stuck.”
"Worst. Idea. Ever", Akio said, although his grin proved he thought otherwise.
"Spice. I like it", V said. "It is a huge improvement to the names you thought of as a kid."
The two friends had spent every free minute together when they had been younger. Most of the time they had pretended to be famous stars, taking the world by storm. Akio had always said he would be the best dancer and people would come from miles just to see him move. The only thing in his story that would change was his stage name.
V had never been quite as fixed on why he would be famous. One day he had wanted to be a comedian and then the next he had wanted to become a magician. That part of the story had never been important to him. All he had known was that he wanted to succeed. That's why his stage name had always been clear. V. V for victory, the Japanese translation of his birth name.
“So, did you apply because of Spice?”, Shane asked.
“I didn’t even know he was here. Haven't met him in over a year”, V said while eating his food. “I moved away.”
“We kinda lost touch”, Spice added without looking up.
Kinda. Completely. Same thing. It defiantly wasn’t something V wanted to discuss.
“What about you? Have you been here long?”, V asked changing the topic.
“15 months and 20 days. And Shane arrived just 2 weeks after me”, Caederyn said.
“You still enjoy it?”
Shane snickered.
“The moment he stops working for his dream, is the day he dies. I'm just staying because I can't deny people to see my handsome face on TV someday.”
Both Caederyn and Spice shook their heads, embarrassed, but V couldn’t help but smile. He could use some of that confidence.
After lunch, Spice had to head out to run a few errands, so V went to unpack his bags. The bedroom wasn't very big, featuring three bunk beds and a closet. All six beds were neatly made up, however each displayed a few personal items of the boys living here.
V immediately figured out which one belonged to Spice. A stuffed toy, a Pokémon, sat next to the pillow. The color was faded and the tail had been stitched at least twice. V remembered when Spice had received it from his mother years ago. He had been so excited, but instead of being possessive he had giving it to V to play with.
V dropped his bag on the empty bed and opened the zipper. He hadn't packed a lot. A few clothes, earphones, a picture of his grandparents and parents when they were younger. In a matter of minutes, he was done.
The door opened and Jisu entered.
'"Hey. New?", he asked, throwing his phone on the bed above V's and climbing up.
"Yes. Starting today."
Jisu scanned V from head to toe, not even trying to hide the fact that he was judging him.
“Good luck. You will need it”, Jisu said.
What should V respond to that? I don’t? Why do you think that? You can take that arrogance and…
“Thanks?”
Giving him a tightlipped smile Jisu turned onto his stomach and picked up his phone.
V was used to people believing they were better than him, although they usually didn’t show it as openly. He had never excelled in school and his family wasn't rich enough to buy him expensive clothes or the newest phone. But he didn’t mind. He knew all their expensive things couldn’t hide their insecurities any more than his hand-me-downs did his.
V shook his head and went back to the kitchen.
Shane was washing up the dishes singing along to the songs on the radio and Caederyn was sitting on the couch with a notebook and a pen. V sat down next to him, curious about what he was writing.
"Life", the boy explained to him. "Every day there is something that can spark the next great lyric." He paused for a moment, his eyes on his notebook.
"Or really bad ones", he said, crossing out the last sentence on the paper.
“I've never written a song”, V said.  He had never written a poem or a story either.
Caederyn handed him a piece of paper and a pen anyway.
"It just takes practice", he said. "I have been doing this for years."
V starred at his utensils.
Maybe he was right.
It wasn't that he didn’t have enough to write about, he just didn’t know how.
He could write about moving to the city. Or about his grandmother. There was a lot to tell about her. Or maybe he should write about the time he and Spice had gotten lost.
Instead of words, the page ended up with scribbles.
I give up, he thought.
It was like watching a movie after having read the book. Why do it, knowing it will never be as good?
He closed his eyes instead and listened to the sound of pen on paper and Shane's voice in the background.
Shane has a great voice, V thought.
His voice was so clear and soothing. The music coach probably had little to critique.
How could V ever compete with someone like that?

At 5 am the next morning, V realized what it meant to truly live with nine other boys and it wasn’t anything like camp. There they had at least had a large cabin and bathroom, but in this small apartment getting ready for meant chaos.
Luckily Spice had woken V before the any of the other alarm clocks had rung, because not even ten minutes after they had gotten ready, brushing teeth had become a wrestling match. Being late for school was not an option for any of the students.
“No matter how much I could use those minutes of extra sleep, there's no way it's worth it", Spice said while pouring hot water into two thermos.
“At least now I understand why Jisu is such a pain”, V said. “You know, I tried to talk to him and ahm…that other boy…Min?”
Spice nodded.
“But all I got from them was a ‘go away'.”
“Just ignore them”, Spice said, handing V a thermos. “In my first week here, they were suspiciously nice to me. Took me a while to realize they only wanted me to help then with dancing. Now they barely even speak to me.”
An older boy who was sitting on the couch reading a book turned around to them.
“That’s what people do. They use you for their own gain. Better learn that now”, he said.
V hadn’t noticed him earlier and couldn’t remember his name.
“That’s not true”, V answered. “Spice would never act that way.”
The older boy chuckled.
“That’s cute. Just remember that most people are not like Spice. Don’t let that naivety ruin your dream because you trust the wrong people.”
He turned back around and Spice started to push V towards the door. Maybe the boy had a point. On the way to success, many people would try to stop V. But that didn’t mean that everyone would.
Before V left the kitchen, he turned back around to the older boy.
“I'd rather get hurt by some people than shutting everyone out and staying alone.”
The boy looked up at V, a small smile crossing his lips for a mere second. For some reason he looked sad, but V wasn’t sure what made him think that way.
“Is he always like that?", V asked once the friends were in the hallway.
“Daemean?” Spice asked, squeezing past a kid called Don in order to get his shoes and jacket. “Pretty much. He is quite cynical. But I actually get along with him.”
“There are very few people you don’t get along with”, V teased, putting on his jacket. “You have always had a ton of friends.”
Instead of replying Spice picked up his backpack and walked out of the apartment. V quickly grabbed his own bag and followed his friend, the other four students not far behind.
The school was the local arts school, teaching 14 to 18 year olds. Most boys were trainees from various companies, just like V, who had other classes in the afternoon. But there were also some boys, which were enrolled in acting classes at the university and some which had already debuted.
This school was dedicated to insuring that they wouldn’t lack in academic education due to their busy schedules.
“Crystal’s Pang sometimes shows up for classes”, Spice told V, while walking down the hallway. Crystal was one of the most popular new music groups of the year. They had debuted a year ago and were on their way to win new artist of the year at the next music awards.
“You ever talk to him?”, V asked.
“Not really. I never want to disturb him. He always looks so stressed.”
V nodded and followed Spice into the class.
Walking into a new classroom with all eyes suddenly on V, should have sacred him. And a year ago, when V had been in the same situation, he had been close to turning around and running back home.
But he hadn't. And he had survived
This time, he wasn’t even alone. He had Spice with him. There was nothing to be afraid of.
Until he received the stack of textbooks and notes from his teachers.
“I'm sure you did the same stuff in your old school. It just looks like a lot”, Spice said.
V smiled at Spice. “You are probably right. Nothing I can't manage.”
But the truth was, even if the schools taught the exact same topics, V would still have been in trouble. In each class he found himself lost, struggling to find metaphors in Romeo and Juliet or figure out how the second world war had started.
But V tried anyhow. He didn’t want anyone to notice. He didn’t want to seem weak.
V's grandfather had been a strong man. V remembered staying up late as a child, waiting for him. His grandfather would come home at night, exhausted from work, but never showing it. Instead of complaining about his aching body, he would carry V to bed, tell him bedtime stories and stroke his hair. Only after V had fallen asleep, would he go to bed himself.
V wanted to be like his grandfather. He didn’t want to show his weakness or his fears.
But V had many weaknesses and fears. How could he keep all those bottled up? He never had before.
V swallowed hard and looked at his notebook.
- The metrical pattern in Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet is also called unrhymed iambic pentameter. -
What was iambic pentameter anyhow? And why did V have to learn it. The only interesting fact about Shakespeare was that he killed thirteen of his characters by suicide. Now that was something they should discuss in class.
But of course they wouldn’t. No school ever did.
- Each line in his sonnets consists of 10 syllables, featuring 5 iambs. An example of this style can be seen in the opening scenes to the play: Two household,…-