Stay {BTS FF | Jeon Jungkook}

Chapter 5

Ashley's POV

Jungkook was depressed because of me? Was he really that depressed. I felt sorry for him, I felt guilty too for leaving him. I hate this feeling. Seriously? Why did I get this stupid love guilty feelings again? I thought it was over. There was nothing else going on between me and Jungkook. I want to end this so bad. I can't have a boyfriend who had cancer, though it wasn't the cancer, but more of how I'm so so afraid if he wont make it and my heart would break even further. Call me selfish, but I don't want to be heartbroken. Well, I am heartbroken now but I knew that I'll be more broken later because I love him, and always will, but maybe if I got a new boyfriend I will forget him and love my new boyfriend and I kind of hate this long distance relationship too. I want to have a boyfriend that could meet me anytime.

I don't know, but I guess that was a bad idea. I don't know but I started to feel guilty after Jin called me previously. But can't I be selfish once in my life? I'm as human as everybody else, I'm not an angel for the love of god! I'm not sure but after I thought about about this, I knew that Jungkook needs my support, he needs everbodys. If he got no love or if whatever Jin told was true. I knew that Jungkook and I loved each other so I'm sure he was broken and if he was depressed then I'm the one he loved the most so I should be with him, if he forgived me.

He needs reasons for him to live, as obvious as that was but it was true. Why would you be in this world if you got no reasons to live right? One of the reasons was love. I knew I can't be selfish, as much as I wanted to but deep in my heart I knew I can't. Even though I'm 100% sure with my idea before, I somehow changed my mind. I loved him and he loved me too and we have to be together so he will start his chemo and fight this stupid cancer. I can't be selfish, there were lots of possibilities that he can beat this stupid cancer. He had to. I can't lose him.

Jungkook's POV(The next day)

I woke up to the sound of my heart monitor beeping again. I didn't know why they still put the monitor, I mean I'm awake since yesterday. I'm not in a coma anymore. The nurse came in and checked some things and removed my IV, and the other things that was stuck to my body. Great. I hate these machines.

"You're discharge now. I'll call your friends. You can go when your friends pick you up."

"Okay. Thanks." I said, I didn't care if I'm discharged or not I mean I would ended up locking myself in my room cause I'm still really depressed. Great. Well here goes my new life new life. Amazing. Full of depression and what not. Well, I once was depressed when I was younger because of bullying, but no one knows about that and I hope no one will. I was okay again though and felt much happier after I joined the group but it just came back now.

About 30 minutes later, the guys came and brought me back home. I went to my room and locked the door. I wanted to do this since a long time ago, so I went to the bathroom and opened a small box that had my razor. Oh Mr.Razor, long time no see old bestfriend!

"Jun, Jun, are you there? Are you sleeping? Jungkook? You have to eat." Suga said

"I'm trying to sleep and I'm not hungry." I lied

"It's been 3 hours since you got home from the hospital Jun, you have to eat. The nurse told me that you didn't want to eat while you're still in there."

"Can you just go away. Didn't you hear what I'd just said earlier? I said that I'M TRYING TO SLEEP AND I'M NOT HUNGRY" I said and shouted the last part.

"Alright. I guess I'll leave you alone, but I just want you to be happy Kookie." He said sadly

"I know. I-I'll try but please, just leave me alone now." I said

"Okay. I'll be with the guys. Just call me when you need me." He said and left.

What? Everybody said 'I want you to be happy' but didn't they understand that I just broke up with the love of my life and got a stupid goddamn cancer? First of all, how can I be happy and enjoy life? Life sucks.

Ashley's POV

I took the closest plane ride to New york where Jungkook and the guys were. I was really nervous, it was not because of the plane ride but Jungkook. I was scared that he won't forgive me, after all I broke up with him over a phone call. Ugh. Why did I make such bad decisions? The truth is I'm scared that he would hate me. Ironic huh? Just a while back I was trying my best to make him hate me and tried to satu away from him as much as possible. Ugh these thoughts will make me insane!  My brain couldn't think of anything else except for him, I tried to forget everything but I couldn't. I was scared that he would commit sucide, I knew he wasn't that type of person but who knows? Maybe his life changed, because of cancer and well of course, me.

I landed a few hours later and went straight to their apartment, yes, they bought an Apartment in NYC. I didn't know why though and they also bought another apartment in California. Maybe they love this country.

I snapped out of my thoughts when my manager told me that I was there. I told him to wait for me and I called Jin once I'm in the apartment.

"I'll be there in 5 minutes." He said and thankfully there were no fans arround, not that I despised them, they are everything, but I'm just not in the mood for all that stuffs. Maybe there weresoem fans but since I used my huge hat and sunglasses, I'm sure they couldn't really recognised me.

I saw Jin 5 minutes later, as I was told and we went up to their apartment room. Their living room was messy. There were foods here and there but I didn't see Jungkook anywhere. Suga was sitting on the couch with V watching some random tv shows. Jimin was playing his phone, RM was also playing his phone. J-hope was nowhere to be found, I assumed he was in the toilet or he was sleeping.

"Where's Jungkook?" I asked and all of their heads turned towards my direction.

"Why are you here?" RM asked coldly

"Visiting Jungkook." I said

"Why? You broke up with him. He thinks you hate him. So keep your bullshits and get out." Suga said

"Look. I know that I broke him but I realized that I'm not supposed to leave him. I am not supposed to be selfish. So I took the nearest flight right after my photoshoot. I wan to apologise to him. I don't want to lose him."

"Seriously? Why? Why now? Why do you want to apologize after? After you make him sad and felt like life is not worth it anymore?"

"I'm so sorry. Really. I am really sorry. Please. Please, just let me see him. I need to clear things out with him."

"Fine but this is your last chance, if you broke him again, we won't forgive you."

"Thank you. Thank you so much. I love all of you." I said and hugged all of them

"Please promise me you won't break his heart again. I hate seeing him like this." V said sadly

"I'm sorry. I promise." I said and Jin knocked on Jungkook's door.

No response. We knocked again and still there was no response. This time I knocked harder but still, there was no response. He should've heard it if he was sleeping.

A/N: Hey guys! It's me again and I'm back with a new update. I'm sorry I haven't been updating in a while cuz I'm soo bussyyy with school but anyways please comment, share and vote! I really appreciate it if you do cuz your comment encourages me to write more as I feel that there's barely anyone reading this so it kinda discourages me to write this story. I will update the next chapter when this have 5 votes or 3 comments. Love you guys!