Protection

Chapter 4

Dead.

Dead?

My mother is dead?

How can this be happening to us? Why is this happening to us?

When I don't respond she puts her hand on my shoulder. "I am so sorry this has happened to you. If there is anything you need, anything at all, don't hesitate to ask."

I am in complete shock. The tears start to pool in my eyes before spilling over onto my cheeks in a steady stream. She can't be gone, she just can't be! She was my best friend. I could tell her anything and she always knew what to do. She was the only person I had besides Conner. Now we are all alone. The nurse has been talking while my thoughts wandered to memories with my mom. I didn't listen until I heard the words I had been dreading to hear.

"You and Conner are going to be put into foster care if we can't find any live relatives."

"What? No. No, I can take care of us."

She sighs and kneels down so she is now eye level with me. "Honey, I know you can, but you are not the legal age to live on your own let alone care for a young child."

I am still crying as I look down at my lap. "How am I going to tell him? How am I going to tell him that his mother is dead?" I sobbed.

I don't look up to see her facial expression, it most likely holds sympathy or sorrow. I hear her stand up and shuffle her feet closer to me. I jump when I feel her hot breath on my ear, " You are the only one who can tell him. You'll know what to say when you get in there," she pauses for a second before speaking again, "By the way, my name is Aubree." After that she walked away, leaving me to come up with some sort of explanation for Conner.

After I think I know what I'm going to say, I make sure to wipe my face clean of tears, and roll into his room to tell him.

As soon as I get through the doorway, Conner is looking at me. The next words he says takes me by complete surprise.

"She's dead, isn't she?"

I don't know how to respond, the words that I had prepared flew from my brain the minute he said that. I just kept quiet and looked down at the floor. That was enough to confirm his suspicion.

"No, no." He was chanting those words over and over. It broke my heart into a million pieces. I rolled over to his side and used all the strength I could to hoist my broken body onto his bed. It turned out to be quite difficult, but I managed to get there. I held him extremely close, even though it was hurting us, neither one of us told the other to stop. We cried silently in each others arms until the sun was no longer in the sky.

Aubree came in and told me that I had to go back to my own room. Conner didn't want me to go and after five minutes of arguing with Aubree, she finally gave in and rolled another hospital bed into the room. I got in and lied on my back. Dr. Ramirez came and checked on me again. He changed my bandages and recorded my progress. I didn't really pay any attention though, I was too busy thinking about what was going to happen to Conner and I.

Dr. Ramirez left soon after, leaving us in the dark room. I stared at the ceiling and played through memories of happiness. These memories were seeming to slip away the longer my mom wasn't here. I can't let that happen so I need to replay them in my head at least once every day. I remember this one day in early spring- actually around my 9th birthday- I came home from school and was having trouble with my homework.

"Why, do we even have to learn our times tables?" I grumbled to myself.

Apparently, my mom heard me and walked into the kitchen where I was sat at the dining table. "What's wrong sweetheart?" she asked with a soft smile on her face as she sat down next to me.

I looked at her then back at my paper, "I'm trying to learn my times tables."

"Well why don't you let me help you?" she asked her voice laced with hope.

"No, I can do it by myself." I spit.

She looked taken back by my tone but persisted. "Come on, if you are struggling I can help to make it easi-"

"NO!" I shouted, "I don't need help, I'm a BIG GIRL!"

She looked very angry which made me realize that that wasn't the best choice of words or tone in that situation. She sighed, bowed her head for a minute, then brought it back up with a smile adorning her face. I was completely surprised at how fast her mood had changed.

"How about we go take a walk to the lake?" she asked.

I nodded my head in response and quickly followed her outside. We walked along the path that led to the lake behind our house. We sat down on a bench just to take in the beauty for awhile. To say it was beautiful would be an understatement. The trees were so vibrant and green. They circled around the lake, acting as a natural barrier from the outside distractions of the world, protecting everything inside of its walls. The lake, of course, was the apple of its eye. The water was so blue, it almost didn't look real, and it was so clear, that you could see straight to the bottom without having to squint. The plant and animal life was also incredibly beautiful. Flowers were everywhere you looked, the grass was so soft it felt as if you were on a cloud, and the birds flying through the air always sung the sweetest songs. It was like we were in a fairytale, our own little world.

My mother broke the silence by pointing over to a birds nest. "Do you see that nest over there?" she asked. I nodded in response.

"The baby birds are just now learning how to fly, watch."

I watched carefully as the mother hopped to the edge of the nest and flew out, only to hover over the nest, waiting to be joined by her babies. One of the baby birds wobbled over to the edge and began to flap it's wings, looking to its mother for the proper technique. When it jumped out of the nest I gasped, watching as the bird plummeted towards the ground. At the last second he swooped upwards and joined his mother above the nest. This process was repeated with each bird, looking to its mother, falling at first, but then soaring through the sky.

When they flew away my mother turned to me. "Do you know why I had you watch that?"

"No." I responded.

"I wanted to show you that everyone needs help, at one point or another, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. You might stumble or fall at first, but the ending result could be as amazing as flying for the first time." She grabbed my tiny hands in hers and looked me in the eyes, "I want you to know that you can come to me with anything that you need help with, okay?"

I looked her straight in the eyes and said "okay."

She smiled and kissed my forehead before enveloping me in a hug. "I'll always be her for you." she whispered into my hair.

As we were on our way back to the house, I looked over to the nest where the birds had returned. The mother was cuddling up next to her babies, her wing hung around them in an almost protective hug. I smiled at the thought of knowing that the mother bird loves her babies as much as my mother loved me. With those last thoughts, I left the lake to go and finish my times tables.

The memory left tears in my eyes, but I didn't let them fall.

"Ellie?" Conner asked.

"Yes Conner"

"I miss mom." He stated.

I sighed and turned on my right side to look him in the eyes. "I do too, buddy."

He looked better than earlier, but from the faint light coming through window, I could see that his cheeks were still stained with his sorrowful tears.

"What's going to happen to us now?" He asks. I can tell he is trying to be brave, but is struggling by the way his voice faltered.

I looked at him with a heavy heart and gave the only answer I could.

"I don't know, I don't know."