Itty Bitty Stories

Football Head

Football Head

“Does he pick his boogers?”

“No, Gus.”

“Does he pick his boogers and then eat ‘em?”

“I’d really hope not.”

“Does he have dandruff?”

“Not that I’m aware of, no.”

“Does he clip his toenails?”

“Probably.”

“Can I have some?”

“Probably not.”

“Can I have some of his boogers?”

“Gus,” I said tiredly, bending down to grab a hold of his shoulders. His light brown hair was spiked out in every direction and you could see the slight spread of freckles across his cheeks and nose. “You can ask him all these questions when he gets here, alright?”

He gave me a wicked grin. “Oh, I will.”

I made a noise. “Lovely.”

I stood back up, heading towards the kitchen to grab my keys to my car. My older brother, Zeek, was sitting there, holding a football that he was tossing up and down. “Did you tell him that I was on the football team for all four years of high school?”

“Mmm, actually, that never came up in conversation - ”

“Did you tell him that I beat up a guy and he had two black eyes?”

“Yeah, see, that never came up either - ”

“Did you tell him that I was on the football team for all four years of college, too?” I gave my brother a flat look. He grinned back at me, as if our conversation was purely innocent. He swiped at his brown hair that was slicked back with gel, poking up at the tops of his head. “Do you have a problem, baby sister?”

“I’m twenty one years old, Zeek,” I told him calmly, “I’m not a baby. I’m going to pick him up, and then I will be back.”

My mother was in the kitchen as well, observing our conversation with her ears. She might not look like she was paying attention, but she was. That’s how she gets you. “Be back soon, dinner will be ready when you get back.”

“I will.”

I whirled around and exited the house before any of my other brothers could pester me about my boyfriend. We’ve been dating since I started college when I was 19 and they haven’t met him yet. I’ve never had a serious boyfriend like this, ever. He’s my first. So it’s really important to my loud family that they meet him.