Spare Hearts

November Rain

It was raining. Not nice, sunny rain but cold, miserable, heavy rain.

In other words - British rain.

I was staring out the window when we came back to a more industrial part of town, houses lining the streets and youths on bikes smoking. I looked over to luke who was asleep and grabbed a sharpie from my smaller bag. I took his hand and turned it overt I reveal his wrist. I took the pen and wrote;

"When we both fall asleep, underneath the same sun"

Sounds crappy but it's our 'thing'. Luke being the musical mastermind that he is wrote a chorus once when we were younger and that was the line I always memorised. Then as both our problems increased we used at as a way of remembering we are in this bullsh!t together.

As I tried to put his hand back in the same position, Luke stirred and looked at me questioningly. He looked at his now sharpie scrawled wrist at the familiar lyrics. He smiled and returned the gesture to me. As I read it I realised he'd drawn a smiley face but it looked more like a weird scribble. I pointed it out but Luke just shrugged it off as I giggled at his un-artistic-ness.

-

"Ashleigh?"

"Aaaaassshhhhh waaaaake uuuup."

I'd been up for a minute now but I was winding Luke up. And It was fun.

"Ashleigh wake your ass up!"

On that one I decoded to show Luke I was awake by hitting him across the face in a sleepy manner.

"Oh sorry I just woke up and needed to stretch!" I said, sarcasm laced in my voice. Luke scoffed and poked my in the side.

"C'mon we've arrived, need to get your stuff out the car." Luke said as he crawled - literally- out of the car. I slid out and hauled my cases out of the boot. Luke took one of mine since he only had one and pulled it along for me. Back to the familiar surroundings of the mental house, otherwise known as the youth psychiatric ward. Paul opened the door for Luke and I and we followed him into the reception area. He tapped on the glass where the reception lady was practically asleep on her computer. She suddenly jolted up and flashed us an apologetic look before Paul started talking to her. She fumbled around and put an announcement out to get one of the nurses to help us into our rooms.

Soon after a short blonde lady in scrubs came to the doors that could only be opened with this little pass that got scanned, she grinned at us before leading us through the door - Paul following us through the quiet corridor.

"Everyone's outside currently so you get a peacefull tour, not many get that so be thankful. Less chance you'll loose your way." She said in such a happy tone it made me question how she could be so happy and cheery in such a depressing place. "Well my name is Lydia and I'm your sort of go-to for minor personal problems. Anything major you see - doesn't need to be yourself - that could cause or is in danger then you press one of these buttons. This will alert all staff so it's only for if you see someone about to kill themselves or someone else or there's a fight happening etc etc. Coming up here is the canteen," I looked at Luke and he had paled, "this is where you eat and receive your meds everyday. I know, Luke, you have anorexia right?" Luke slowly nodded, "we do try to get everyone a proper three meals or at least two but I know it will be tough these first days and the nurses and doctors here understand that so we won't force feed you but we do try to get you to at least eat something. " we kept walking down the seemingly never ending corridor. These are the toilets, you also have a ensuite in your rooms but I'll explain rooming later."

It had taken me all this time to notice all the artwork on the walls, all of them were drawings and doodles but they wet really interesting. One of which caused me to stop for a second. It was a simple cartoon self portrait of a boy wearing a beanie with his fringe over his face, his hair coloured neatly in bold stripes with three highlighters.

"That's one of our patients, nice boy, bad back ground." Lydia said, "Michael, Michael clifford." I nodded and turned back to Luke continuing the "tour".

This is the councilling corridor; this is where you will receive your individual councilling and group sessions. The door to your right is the door to the yard. As you can see everyone's out there currently because for some reason they all wanted to get out in the rain. " I quietly giggled and looked through the glass doors. Sat out in the purging rain was purple hair boy and china boy. Along with all the others but they were nearest the door talking. And just as before, china boy turned and saw me and Luke. Nudging purple hair as I stood there partially frozen. Purple hair fixed his fringe and waved timidly.

To be honest I don't remember much else from the "tour" but I remember where mine and Luke's rooms were. They were shared rooms. Four to a room I think.the girls I had seen when we first came where sat in the room I was in, ovbiously not wanting to get their hair wet or whatever. Lydia opened the door for me and Luke and I hauled my bags into the room. The beds were simple. Very simple. Plain, white wooden frames with white bedding and a white bedside table. There was a pink blanket folded at the end of each bed alongside a pink bath towel and hair towel. It reminded me of how much I hated the colour pink. The bedside tables had a little clock and a vase of flowers. The vase being plastic because otherwise people would smash them and use the glass shards.

"Ashleigh, this is perrie, Jenna and Lucy. They're going to be your room Mates while you're here. Just come and see where Luke will be and then I suggest you all introduce yourselves and find out a bit about each other." Lydia explained before leading Luke and I back into the corridor. "Luke, your room is just here, across the corridor from Ashleigh." Lydia lead us into another room. Exactly the same as mine - just a lot messier - except from there were blue blankets and towels. Luke pulled his case to an empty bed, ducking a sock being thrown past him.

"Louis can you keep your god damn stuff on your god damn bed!" The bleach blonde guy, Niall? Yelled. Oblivious to Luke, Lydia and i's presence. As soon as he realised he froze. I looked back at Lydia to see her giving home a disapproving look.

"Minus five points nialler." Lydia said to the blonde. "And Louis, minus two points for having your clothes everywhere." The two boys shrugged and slumped onto their beds. "Where's the others?" Lydia asked, handing Louis some of his laundry.

"I dunno, in the rain still I guess." Louis answered, shoving clothes into a drawer. Just at that moment three people bundled through the door, soaked from the apparent rain. They were all laughing and panting as they scrambled from the floor to meet Lydia's yet again disapproving glare.

"Care to explain?" Lydia asked, tapping her foot impatiently.

"Preferably no...?"