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It's all My Fault

Alyssa's P.O.V.
   I feel pressure and slight moisture push against my head and I make up a bit. I see Asher and look at him. "Where are you going" I ask groggily. I look out the window and see it's still dark so I sit up tall and grab his hand now scared he's leaving me. "I have a couple of things to do for the movie, I don't know when I'll be back" he states. I relax a little but am still scared. "Whyyyyyy??? Stay home with me" I complain with a worried undertone. "I can't baby, I have to go. I love you" he says kissing me then pulling his hand away. "I love you too" I say pretending to fall asleep.

   Asher leaves and I get out of bed and start to pace the floor. "What if he never comes back" I think. "What if he is having second thoughts" I whisper starting to panic more. I go to the living room and sit on the couch. "No. Stop freaking out. Everything will be fine" I say to myself.

   My phone starts to ring and I go and look at the number. It's not one from my contacts. I hesitate to answer but click the green button and put it to my ear. "Hello?" "Is this Alyssa Hill" the man on the other line says. "May I ask who is calling" I question. "Do you love Asher" they ask. "Who's calling" I demand. "If you want Asher to live then you better call 911 soon. He's gonna get hit by a car. You'll be the reason he gets hurt or dies if you don't call the police" the man says right before hanging up.

"That's weird" I say to myself. "It's only a stupid kid who wants to scare me" I think. Then my heart starts racing. My head screams at me to call the cops. That waiting will make everything worse. "I'm gonna kill him" I start to worry.

   I rush back to the bedroom and pull out my guitar. I start to strum little tunes until I feel like playing songs. This calms me down and makes me feel like everything will be al right. That's because it will. I feel sick. I drop my guitar and run to the bathroom and throw up my dinner from the night before.

   "I have this strange feeling that I can't get rid of" I say as I flush the toilet then go brush my teeth. "I should drink some water." After finishing with my teeth I go to the kitchen and get a cold water bottle out of the fridge. I drink it as I head upstairs. I tune my guitar back up then put it away only to hear my phone go off.

   I walk over to it and look at the screen. It reads "Hey baby girl, everything went great! I'll be home in about 30 mins, and then we can do whatever you'd like." The feeling in my stomach still doesn't go away. I sit on the bed and watch a movie and wait for Asher. The entire movie plays without him coming through the door.

I look at the time and it's 8:51 in the morning. He's still not home. I pick my phone up and begin shooting Asher texts every 5 minutes. Things that say "Are you okay", "is traffic really bad" and "where are you?" No messages come through. My phone rings though. It says unknown across the screen instead of a number.

   I pick it up and answer it. "Hello" I say. "Hi is this Alyssa Hill? The girlfriend of Asher Garner" the other person asks. They seem calm and nice. They may be cool. "Yes. May I ask who's calling" I ask. "This is the receptionist at the UCLA Medical Center. We have just revived a call that your boyfriend has been in a critical car crash. It was a hit and run. He's currently on his way inside an ambulance right now" they inform me. "Thank you" I say and hang up.

Asher wanted to live close to a hospital because he felt it was better to have an ER close by. I have serious depression and he felt I was safer living close by a hospital if I tried anything. They also have a psych ward. So I can easily go there if my condition gets bad enough.

I quickly got dressed and rushed to the hospital. I go to the desk and ask to see Asher and they tell me he isn't here yet. I wait and when they roll him in I try to go after him but they stop me. I get angry and agitated and start to yell with tears falling down my face for them to let me through. I almost yelled I was gonna kill myself but then quickly stopped realizing it wasn't something to kill my self over and that I'd get sent straight to the psych ward. I calm down and wait patiently for them to call me to see him.

The doctor comes up to me and asks to speak with me. I agree and go with him. He leads me right up to Asher's room and tells me about what they're doing and all the tests. Then says they need blood. We set up me donating blood and they start to ask me questions. I pass them all. They test my blood sugar and it's right.

Everything is all good until I see the needle. I start to sweat and tense up. "They're gonna kill me" I think. "It's for Asher" I repeat in my head over and over again until it's done and they've taken 1 pint of blood. They give it to him and check to see how his blood levels are doing after they give it to him.

They turn to me after checking everything. I'm holding Asher's hand and watch him sleep. "We need another pint of blood" they say. "I'll do it" I say. Then we set up everything and I get the blood to him. They wait and check his levels. I have to sign off on them giving Asher two more pints of blood. I can't give it to him.

After the blood transfusion is finished they leave me alone with him. I hold his hand tightly and let tears fall. "This is all my fault. I'm so sorry" I whisper. "I should've called the police. I should've done something. This is all my fault. You're hurt because of me" I cry out softly. I wipe my tears and the pain in my arm kicks up. I ignore it to the best of my ability and caress his cheek.

After a while longer he starts to stir and wake up. "Babe" he moans. "Asher" I scream and jump up. I hug him and wince at the pain in my arm while I feel him wince but still embrace so I pull away quickly. The doctor comes in and sets his clip board down. "You lost a lot of blood, Asher. You have a concussion, a broken leg and a broken nose" the doctor says frowning. Asher nods his head then stops soon after.

"Thank you Doctor for your help" Asher says. He nods his head then walks out. Asher and I sit there in silence as I don't know what to say or ask first. I get ready to ask what happened but Mike walks in the room.

"How are you feeling" Mike asks sadly. "I've been much better" Asher responds with a weak smile. "I'm sure you already know this but I sadly have to be the bearer of bad news. You won't be able to be the Flash, they already pulled your contract. I'm sorry, Asher."

A tear starts fall down Asher's face as Mike walks out. I climb into bed next to Asher and hold him as he starts to cry. "My life goal just slipped away... I could've died in that crash" Asher says choking on tears. "Hey don't think like that, babe. You'll bounce back. Trust me. They'll regret pulling your contract." I say. "How do I tell him it's my fault" I think. "And yeah you could've died, but you didn't. You're here with me right now. You're safe and that's all that matters" I say then kiss his cheek. He gives me a weak smile. "You're right, baby. Thank you." He kisses my cheek and I put my head into his arm as he falls asleep.

He sleeps for a couple hours and I wait. When he wakes up he smiles at me. "How did you sleep" I ask. "I slept well" he responds. "I'm sorry" I say letting a tear fall off my face. "For what, kitten" he asks. "It's my fault. This guy called me saying you're gonna be hit by a car. He told me that I would be the reason you got hurt or died if I don't call the police. I'm sorry! You lost everything because of me all because I thought someone was messing with me" I cry out.

"Baby, calm down! Please! None of this is your fault. We should tell the police about the call. However, none of this is your fault. You did nothing to me" he says calming me down. He sits up and hugs me carefully. Then pulls away and kisses me. Finally he caresses his hands down my arm and then he gets to the sore spot from the needle and flinch and pull my arms away.

"Please tell me you didn't self harm, love" he says yanking my arms to him and making me yell a little from the pain. His face gets confused when he sees the two bandages and bruised skin around the bandages and looks at me. "What are these from" he asks confused.

"A needle. I ga-" he cuts me off. "A needle?! Are you doing heroine" he freaks out. "No, babe. They're from the doctors. I gave you two pints of blood" I tell him. "You did" he asked. "Yes. I wouldn't let you die" I say. He hugs me. "I love you" he says. "I love you too" I say.