Unknown

The End

Alyssa's P.O.V.
   I wake up next to my boyfriend and turn to him with tears in my eyes. "Good morning, boo. You okay?" I slowly shake my head. "What's wrong" Zack asks me. "You know it hurts still. I dream about him every night. I know that this hurts you but I still love him. I would do anything to get him back" I spill. "Sweetheart, there was nothing you could do to help him. You had already given him love, attention, and blood. You were there through it all. He tried his best to heal." I stare at the ceiling feeling even more hopeless.

   "Zack I think you should collect your things" I say to him. "What?" He says, voice breaking. "You should collect your things and go home. I can't sit here and pretend to love you and hope that the more I lie to myself the less I love him. There's nothing you can do. We need to split up because it's not fair to either of us. I want to be alone from now on" I explain to him. "I understand." He says.

   Zach begins to collect his shirt, sweatshirts, and other belongings. He walks up to me and kisses my forehead. "Get well soon, Alyssa" he says then leaves. This causes me to be alone for the first time since the night Asher passed. I stared at the ceiling as the tears began to run down my face. I feel as if someone is holding my heart and holding it so when it beats I feel the pain as if it's being squeezed.

   The tears continue falling but faster as I turn to my side and curl up in a ball. It gets harder and harder to breathe the more I cry. The reality that he's now gone hits and that I can never have him hold me again begins to gain on me. It just hurts more and more and more until I am screaming at the top of my lungs and have a mental breakdown.

   I'm throwing things all over the room and pulling my hair. One would believe me to be more mad than sad. It continues to get worse and worse until I see Asher's sweater on the floor where he last left it when he left. I stare at it with tears still streaming down my face.

   I've now officially broken and am aware that there's no more turning back as the darkness swallows me whole. Everything feels as if it were to be in slow motion at this point.

   I slowly and calmly look around. The tears are still continuing to fall and hang for dear life because they know what's to come of me. I go to the kitchen and exit through the door to the backyard. I go to the shed and pull out a rope. The tears fall down faster again but I still look like if the tears were gone I'd be calm.

   I carry the rope to the dining room and grab a chair and drag it down the basement slowly. All of my thoughts have washed away. My rock was gone. My distraction left 3 months after. My world now cold and getting colder by the second. I place the chair on the ground once I find a good spot. I tie a hangman's knot and then climb up on the chair. I jump up and grab onto the beams on the ceiling and get myself in a position to tie a knot.

   After tying said knot I carefully lower myself down onto the chair. I climb off the chair and step back to look at the scene I've created. The world around me got quieter and quieter. Now there's nobody to stop me. Hopefully in another life I'll be his and he'll be mine. The tears get hotter and heavy again and begin to fall out of my eyes once more for the last time.

  I climb back onto the chair. I place my head in the loop and I stare at the wall I front of me. Why couldn't I heal like a normal person? Why couldn't my brain be able to know how to heal and get better rather then solve everything by it ending?

   I swallow hardly and shortly then kick the chair from underneath myself. I feel my throat begun to burn followed by my lungs. I kick slightly and struggle a little but I know that I want this with my whole being. The tears fall slower. I slowly stop struggling and my world goes completely black. I've become part of the unknown now. I'm now part of the darkness.

   My body gets colder and colder. My body goes completely limp. Heart slowly beginning to come to a stop. The world is oblivious to who has just left them but God knows. Hopefully Alyssa can still make it into heaven after what she's done in her life and to herself. What is to happen next is part of becoming part of the unknown but that is for her to know and you to find out at a more peaceful and happy way than Alyssa.

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
"Did you really want to die? No one commits suicide because they want to die. Then why do they do it? Because they want to stop the pain." -Tiffanie DeBartolo