PEOPLE always give props to niggas who live in the hood. It's usually in passing too; "aw shit you live in the west? That's what's up" but no one really ask you what it's like. It'd be weird at first, ya know? Like; what the fuck? Why you asking? No lie too, I'd front. Start joking about thugs and gangsters shit, but that's not what I'd want to tell people.
I'd want to tell people that I'm genuinely scared. In the hood, you side eye everything. If someone's a little too generous, we're going to think that there's a catch rather than thinking that persons just kindhearted. Shit like that doesn't exist in the hood. Out here in the slums, it's sort of like a one for a one. A trade if you may.
People are familiar with me because of who my brothers are. So when people see me, they make eye contact, nod, smile and dap me up
Asking me "what're you saying?" But I remember this one time, I was at Rideau with my friend. Rideau is this hood rat infested mall in west/south Ottawa. Anyways. I was there, and I heard. "....!" Now there were hella people there, so I could find the source of voice. And like, ten seconds after my naming being called I felt a hard slap to my shoulder. My first instinct was to fight.
I had my fist clenched, and my eyebrows furrowed and I pulled out my hood voice. I asked him "Yo, what the fuck?" Then he laughed and shit, saying something I couldn't understand. I just shook him off and walked away. I have had plenty of interaction like this before, it's why so many people think I'm an asshole or a bitch. Nah. I'm just from a hood. That was my hood mentality kicking in. Out here, having your name barked and your chest smacked may be the end of your life.
Being from where I'm from, you don't know if you'd live to see twenty four, the worst shit is going to a school in the suburbs. Teachers have you thinking you could be absolutely anything you want, from a doctor to an astronaut. But it's as of though, as soon as you get to where you sleep at night, it's like; "aw shit. This is all I've got. The rest of my life, I'm surrounded by drugs. This is my future." Thats kind of where we're weak minded. I have a lot of love for the hood, but I've also got a lot of hate for it.
I love the hood for teaching me to be quick on my feet, I love it for teaching me life lessons, I love it for showing me who I am. I love it for guiding me. But I also I hate the hood for taking away my peoples, I hate it for being blood stained. It's number 1 rule was to not fall in love with it. Love is blinding, you don't see flaw, you see good. So when young niggas see pushing paraphernalia as an opt to make money, they fall in love with the big bucks, they fall in love with street cred. They don't see that the hood could kill you, that you could be stuck selling bricks for the rest of your life.
The streets are always hot. Someone always dying. If I died in broad daylight, niggas would watch me drop and tell the cops they hadn't seen shit. And I wouldn't blame them. I've seen people get robbed, seen people at gun point. Ive told cops I hadn't seen shit. At the end of the day, that persons dead, and all their worries and struggles ended the moment that persons life ended. But I'm still walking, I'm still struggling, I'm still worrying. I don't have time to think about that person, and I know it sounds monstrous.
But it's a doggy dog world.
