Not Easily Broken

Not Easily Broken (10)

Chanel
I can't believe J and I kissed the other day its all I've been thinking about. I only told him a bit of my feelings. Rashad been so busy job searching that we haven't spent time since Janel birthday and that worries me. Would if I fall out of love with him due to lack of attention? The thought of it caused me to throw up, which I've been doing lately.  
Rashad: "baby are you okay?"
"Yes I'm fine, just probably ate too much yesterday."
Rashad: "Are you sure?"
"Yeah I'm sure"
I go upstairs and see a dress on the bed, with a note on the side.

*This is only the beginning.*
"Babe, what's this?"
Rashad: I know I've been busy and I wanted to make it up to you, so I made reservations at Mastro's steakhouse. I'll be waiting for you, downstairs."
"okay, I'll be down in a few."
Rashad went downstairs and I got dress. by the time I was done we headed to the restaurant.
Waitress: "Welcome to the Mastro's steakhouse, what can I do for you?"
Rashad: "Yes, I made reservations here."
Waitress: "What is your last name? "
Rashad: "Carmichael."
Waitress: " yes I have you down, right this way, here's your menu, would you like to try our finest champagne perhaps the Piper-Heidsieck?"
Rashad: " yes that'll be fine."
"Actually, may I have a sprite?."
Waitress:" of course."
the waitress left, and we started talking.
Rashad: "so not in the mood for champagne? "
"No not really, but this place is beautiful.
Rashad: " Yeah it is, look babe I know I'm not the best man out there, I'm sorry for not always making time for you. You deserve the world and nothing less, so since me finding a job was getting in the way I got a job at kisses until something better comes along. I don't want to lose you, I love you, so with that being said will you marry me?"

I was speechless seeing a four carat ring right in front of me. I can't believe this is happening. but it don't feel right knowing what happened, I love both of them to death, Jay is my baby father while Rashad been with me since Jay and I broke up. but now things has change Rashad been so busy that it feels he forgot about me. J and I have been spending time together especially as a family and it's like I fell in love with him all over again. but now thinking about it he's happy with that chick coco so even if I wanted him I have no chance with him, it was just a kiss, but Rashad might not feel that way after I tell him. I really messed up.
"Babe, get up." He gets up.
Rashad:" What's wrong?"

"its about J and I."
Rashad: " If its about the birthday party I'm past it, I just want you, I love you."
*Shedding tears* "I love you too, but I can't marry you."
Rashad: "Why?"
" Because J and I kissed yesterday, I'm so sorry."

Rashad:" I don't know what to say."

"Say something, anything please."
Rashad: "Why you do it?"

"It just happened, we were having family time and when he dropped me off we talked a bit, next thing you knew we kissed."
Rashad: "Check please."
the waitress came and collect the bill, and we home, and didn't speak to each other for the rest of the night.