"Hello new friend, my name is Fred. These words you hear are in my head. I say, I said, my name is Fred And I've been...very naughty."
(Have the music on top of the story play throughout the story, why don't ya?)
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Cents: No. No. No, never, not in a million years, no way hosay, no sans malans. Bill: Oh, but Cents, you have to. It's a dare, after all. Cents: Great. Now I'm regretting adding dares to the things we can do. Tad: TO THE HOME FOR FREAKY BARBERS!
*Later, at the asylum, the Cipher kids are looking for Fred Bagges's cell*
Cents: You know, I'm usually all for mental asylums, BUT NOT WHEN EVERYONE HERE IS TRYING TO SHAVE OUR EYELASHES OFF! Bill: Oh, please, the people here aren't all bad. *Random arm burst through the bars of one cell and grabs Bill* Unknown freaky barber: GIVE ME YOUR HAIR! GIVE IT! GIVE ME YOUR EYELASHES! I'LL RIP THEM OUT OF YOU IF I HAVE TO! Bill: LUCIFER! *Hits arm with cane, arm retreats back into the cell* Ok, so there are a few...aggressive ones, but they're not all bad. Tad: Right! They're not all so bad. *Random green arm with 3 fingers comes out of the cell and starts stroking Tad* Salad Fingers: Oh, hello! You must be called...Edward Snider. You hold a welcoming texture...a pleasure for the tips. Tad:...Ok, enough of you. *Floats off*
*A few minutes of looking later*
"That's when my tired eyes beheld Dear Little Cents, like a circle she smelled. C-E-N-T-S is how she's spelled And that's how I spell...naughty."
Cents: *Sigh* Why did I even go to Moe's Tavern in the first place? Bill: JUST GET IN THERE! *Pushes Cents into the cell* Tad: Do you think she'll be fine? You know who protective Cents is with her eyelashes. Bill: Please. Just because Fred has unicorn hair and a razor doesn't mean Cents is doomed.
*Meanwhile, in the cell*
Fred: *Sitting with a big, crooked smile on his face* Cents:...I'm doomed. So...umm, Fred, I was forced here by Princess__of__Hell, so don't get any wrong ideas about this!
Fred: "Alone was I with the one that was purple And her lashes on her eyes that had pupils in the shape of circles. And those lashes did leave my mind in mashes And tempted me to be...naughty." Cents... Cents: Ohsatanohsatanohsatanohsatanohsatanohsatan. Fred: Your lashes... Cents: NONONONONO. Fred: It reminds me of the first time I knew...just how...I felt about hair. *Fred rips off a random shower curtain and uses it as one of those sheets barbers use, places Cents on the toilet* Cents: Why did I ever kiss you in the first place? Fred: "It was a day I'd not forget. The day in which I met my pet. Oh, what a lovely gift to get. I never felt so...naughty."
