Midnight Music

Chapter 15

"I'm not his daughter."

I bit my tongue as soon as I heard the words. Why did I let that slip out? Why the hell am I telling someone I don't really know something that took me years to tell my best friend?!

"What?" He stared at me in utter confusion.

With my heart pounding in my chest, I took a deep breath, and allowed my pent up feelings to slowly pour out. "My dad is the man who raised me, not the source of half of my genes. When it was just Dad, Mom, and my brother, she cheated and slept around. I don't even know who my biological father is, and I don't really want to. But when she got pregnant and had me, it became clear of what she did. Dad tried to work things out, but nothing helped. She got into some pretty bad habits, and got addicted to things. They never did anything bad to us, but the love wasn't really there anymore. Finally, they got divorced, Mom was declared unfit to have custody, and she basically disappeared from our lives when I was five. She didn't even fight for custody. Dad started drinking occasionally afterwards. A couple of years later, he met and married another woman. She's like the mother we never had, and we all love her. But throughout the years, Dad and I never had a good relationship. I have a better relationship with my stepmom.

"He was never really supportive of any of my dreams, or anything I got into. Even if it was something he liked, such as playing the piano, he'd dismiss it like it was no big deal to him. I can't remember him ever saying that he loved me. Maybe he was a little proud of me for graduating high school, and not getting into any of the stuff Mom did, but I wouldn't know since he never showed it. I think. . ." I took a deep breath as the stone in my chest sank to my stomach. Needles poked at the back of my eyes. It's always hard to talk about this. "I think he'll never be happy enough to have me in his life, because I'm a constant reminder of what he failed in. I'm living proof that his wife was unfaithful. And even if I became president one day, he'd probably still be unhappy because he can't say that he took part in bringing my existence to the world. I'm just not good enough for him."

I felt a couple of tears stream down my face beneath the mask. My hands moved to take it off, but I stopped them and wiped at the tears instead. Not yet! Don't need to lay so much on him.

Suddenly, Platinum took one of my hands in his and gently brushed my hair out of my face. "I can't say that I know how all of that feels, but I think I can relate a little. Music has always been a big deal to me, but it was never enough for my parents. They pushed me towards something 'more realistic' so that I wouldn't be 'wasting my time'," He paused for a minute. I looked at his face to see him bite his lip thoughtfully. "I'm certain your dad loves you. The negative emotions are mostly on his side, which unfortunately ended up being relayed onto you. I'm sure you'll find a way to gain his attention."

"I hope so. Maybe one day." I sighed, leaning my head onto his shoulder. I don't know how I was able to open up to him, but it feels good. It's nice to be able to talk to someone about these things, especially one who could relate on some level.

Platinum really is a reliable partner. He makes me feel comfortable, like I can show myself to him. As if I could come clean about everything from my deepest fears to my craziest quirks and embarrassing memories. Maybe another time, though. Even though I don't know who he really is, he's somehow become a good friend to me.

"Thank you." I whispered softly.

"For what?" he asked, I could feel his chin against my hair rotate to look at me.

"For listening."

My heart raced when I felt his lips lightly press against my scalp. "You're welcome, milady. I'm always here for you."

It was then I realized he was still holding my hand warmly. Our fingers are laced together; completely intertwined, almost tangled with each other. Strange. I can't bring myself to pull away from him. . .