FRAT! ᴱˣᴼ

three.

[ᴀʟʟ ғᴇᴀʀ ᴛʜᴇ sʜɪᴛᴛᴇʀ ᴏғ ʟᴀᴡɴs!]

___

"Hey, mind if I ask what the fuck you're doing?"

At exactly two fifty-seven on Saturday morning, Minseok had groggily walked out of his room to grab some water from the kitchen.

At two fifty-nine, after catching a glimpse of movement on the front porch, he abandoned his cup of water and went outside, unexpectedly finding Jongdae sitting on the porch and clutching a soup ladle.

Ten seconds past two fifty-nine in the morning, Jongdae looked over at Minseok with sleep-laden eyes and yawned, nearly knocking the latter out with his morning breath.

"I'm gonna catch the guy who keeps taking a dump on our lawn," Jongdae replied, then frowned, lazily pointing the ladle at Minseok's face. "It's not you, is it?"

"You're going to catch the guy," Minseok croaked out with a frown, ignoring his friend's accusation, "and then beat him up with a soup spoon?"

There was a very brief pause before Jongdae confidently answered, "Yes."

"And you do realize that we're going to be finishing up the hazing process in a few hours?"

"Yep."

At that, Minseok took a seat beside him on the porch floor, scratching the side of his face. Jongdae's face lit up in curiosity immediately after.

"Are you going to help me?" he inquired.

"No," Minseok answered, folding his arms. "I'm going to watch this guy beat the shit out of you."

* * *

"What the hell are you two doing?"

Approximately an hour after Minseok had joined Jongdae out on the porch, the duo found themselves looking up at Chanyeol, who was poking his messy bedhead outside with a confused frown.

"Jongdae's trying to catch the Lawn Shitter," Minseok replied, frowning back at Chanyeol. "What are you doing up?"

"Sehun and I were playing Animal Crossing," he answered simply, stepping out onto the porch and closing the door behind him. After catching a glimpse of what was in Jongdae's grasp, Chanyeol face took on a perplexed expression. "What's the ladle for?"

"I'm gonna beat this guy to a pulp with this spoon when we catch him," Jongdae declared once again. He watched as Chanyeol slid down onto the ground, taking a seat beside Minseok. "Are you gonna help me?"

"Hell yeah I am," Chanyeol replied, eyes narrowed. "Nobody takes a shit on our lawn and gets away with it."

"They've gotten away with it, like, four times now," Minseok pointed out, his voice still groggy with sleep.

"Ok, then nobody takes a shit on our lawn for a fifth time and gets away with it," Chanyeol corrected.

Minseok only shook his head. "You guys are gonna get your asses beat."

* * *

"Are you guys aware that it's way past your bedtimes?"

Yet another hour had gone by after Chanyeol decided to stay outside with Minseok and Jongdae. At some point in time, Sehun, Yixing and Kyungsoo had joined, as well. Now it was Baekhyun and Junmyeon (the early risers) who were peering out the door and onto the porch, confused as to why everyone was huddled outside.

"We're gonna catch the Lawn Shitter," Sehun said in reply to Junmyeon's question. "Jongdae's got a spoon and everything!" Kyungsoo, who was sitting near him, nodded in agreement.