That day felt different, last night i couldnt sleep. All i kept thinking about was about how happy i was going to be when I saw him again, i had a thought in my mind about how it was going to go. He'd be coming out the plane he'd look up and smile, his face would glow and id run up to him and we'd hug tightly. He'd whisper "i missed you" and id kiss him. I thought about it all night and the more i thought about it the bigger my smile grew. That day was the day i finally saw him its been three years since the last time we talked.
It was in July a friday night. It was raining and thundering, "Harry i told you i have to leave its too dangerous."
"But why? you did everything they told you to arent we okay now, you said we were safe". I remember Louis packing his bag very quickly and Nervously, i never seen him like this. Not recently at least, the last time i did was when he asked me to be his boyfriend, "w-we were but...not anymore, look i have to go okay? I'll see you whenever" i grabbed his wrist and he looked up at me, his eyes were red like if you had eaten something very spicy and mouth burned like hell. "Louis look at me dont fucking do this again, not again not after everything." He looked like he couldnt hold his tears in any longer, Louis was strong, brave, fearless but when it came to us he was weak. He didn't like showing it though, he didn't like me to see him cry.
" I have no choice I'm doing this for the both of us, i told you when we first started dating that if you couldn't handle it you could leave." I let his hand go and took a deep breath. "I-I know i'm sorry ...look i just don't want you to leave, the last time you left lou...things got bad." After that there was silence, we both looked at eachother. He knew what happened last time, he knew if he left it would happen again. The day he came back he promised he wouldn't leave, he said things would be different. I guess sometimes people break them and there isn't a thing you can do. "Harry you'll be alright i promise. Ill call when i can ill try okay you'll be fine nothing bad is going to happen." I looked at him confused, how could he say that, that I would be fine we both knew he was lying. "You know thats not true, you know if you leave right now it wont be the same i cant handle you leaving. I-I'm not as stro-" Lou cut me off. "Yeah thats the problem you aren't strong enough to handle this Harry, you're never strong enough you're weak thats your problem not mine. Now if you excuse me i have a to go or ill miss my flight bye Harry."
He left me empty and speechless. That was the last time i heard of him. Except for that last week, he called me telling me how sorry he was and how he was coming home. I was so happy to hear his voice, i didn't tell him that though. I was the kind of person who would forgive easily, if you did something to hurt me i would forgive you it only mattered weather he was ok or not. I hated it, i hated that i could forgive so easily. He was my weakness, he hurt me but i kept smiling just for him. It wasn't like he ever did it i on purpose i knew what I was getting my self into. Anyways the day he came back we talked and talked and talked. Not once did we talk about his 'trip', we never did. The first time we talked about these trips it was ...sad. We got into a fight and after we promised each other if it ever happened again we wouldn't talk about it. We thought it was better not talking about it than talking about it and getting in a huge fight.
"Harry are you even listening to me?" I shook my head and smiled at him. "Yeah yeah , i'm glad you're back. I thought you'd be coming back later than this what happened?" "Well...thats the reason why I came back. We cant see each other again." My heart dropped to my stomach and i felt like a bunch of knives stabbed me in the chest. "What the hell are you talking about Louis. What the fuck did you do" "Nothing i did nothing. Just we cant see each other for now at least" i felt anger, thats all i felt because he didnt look like he give a shit. He looked perfectly ok and the more i thought about it the more it boiled up inside me. I decided to let it out, all my anger for once and for all. "N-NO YOU DONT GET TO DECIDED. ITS NOT FAIR"
"Harry not here theres people just calm down okay Harry." I ignored him every single thing he was saying i ignored. I was so mad at him, the fact that i didn't know what the hell was going on what he do to make this happen. "FUCK YOU LOUIS, FUCK YOU. YOU DONT GIVE FUCK DO YOU LOUIS? YOUR SUCH A HEARTLESS ASSHOLE. YOU DONT CARE ABOUT ME ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS YOUR SELF." By then everyone who was there heard me. They all starred and Louis had tears running down his face. "H-Harry please let me explain. I do care Harry, Harry i'm in love with you." I walked home i didn't care much about what he had to say that night. I thought nothing he said would change my mind. I was finally home i changed into some sweats and i went up stairs to our bed. The thing about loving someone is how much you could hate them and love them at the same time. How not matter how much you wanted to scream at them and tell them everything bad they've done to you, you couldnt. I hated how in love with him i was, but i love it all at once thats whats so fucked up about loving someone.
They can make you the happiest person one moment and the next they make you feel like you've been stabbed in the heart billions of times. It was 12:57 am i heard the door slam, i jumped up. "Louis? Is that you?" I went down stairs and saw louis trying to hold on to something so he wouldn't fall. I rolled my eyes and walked quickly to him. "God damn it Louis you know i don't like when you drink" He smiled at me and giggled. "I knoooowww its why i did it. You were being an asshole and walked away from me when I was trying to tell you why i couldn't see you anymore" i turned the lights on from the living room and he hissed at it. "Stay here ill get you some water" i went in the kitchen and grabbed a bottle water from the fridge. "Are you mad at meee, baby im sorry kiss me" Louis was always too much when he was drunk he was all up on you because it was his way of wanting something. He stood up and he was very close to me. I could smell the alcohol on his clothes, he kissed me and i backed away. "Louis please sit down okay? You're drunk." "If i don't leave for a couple of months, if i keep seeing you ....T-They will come after you" Louis had this tone in his voice, like he was afraid. If Louis was afraid it meant this wasn't some stupid trip anymore it was serious. We'd got to bed and he and i talked about how things would go, we'd still talk but not regularly.
He said they had threaten him to make him stay away from me, i was so confused on why they would do that. We did everything they asked, every single sick game even if it hurt each other we had to. There was no stop to it. They always take him away from me usually it was for a few month not years. He'd just came back after three years of not having his lips, touch, smell and now they want to take him away again.
