"I love you Harry, so much. I'm sorry I hurt you; I'm a shitty person I know that. You deserve so mu-" I took a deep breath and cut him off. "...Louis. I fell in love with you, you Louis Tomlinson. The boy with the cute giggle and nice ass." We both chuckled. "you remember that night when I told you I wanted to be with you, that no matter what I'll be with you and I promised. Louis, I knew what I was getting my self into the moment I said I loved you, I knew this wasn't going to be easy. If I didn't want to be with you I would be long gone." With that Louis turned to me and gave me a warm smile,he cuddled into me and quickly fell asleep. I lied about me being long gone. The truth was no matter how bad;it got how hurt I got, I would still stay. I would stay every time and that's what's bad about people who love to much, they give every piece of their selves and that's why they can't leave. If they leave they will be empty, numb. I stayed up that night, I was so tired but no matter how much I tried to sleep and forget about this I couldn't. Truth is I Hadn't had much sleep since the day he left, it's been a long time since I had an actual sleep. The only times I did sleep weren't always good. I've had bad dreams about Louis leaving. Hours and hours past and you could finally see the daylight. "Morning Lou" I said in a soft tone. He groaned and hid himself under the covers. "My head hurts, Harry I got so drunk last night I probably acted like a huge ass I'm sorry babe" I smiled at him and gave him a kiss on the top of his head. "It's fine....try and sleep it off okay? I've got to be somewhere I'll be back in the afternoon call if you need anything yeah? " "mhm love you Harry" I got in the car and drove off. I didn't have anywhere to be I just had to get out of the house, do something to keep my mind off all this. So I went to my favorite place I always go to, the park. No one comes to this park anymore, not since a new one was made a few months ago. I come here and draw, write, or just lay down and look up at the clouds. I thought about Louis leaving again, I closed my eyes quickly and shook my head. "Forget about it" I said to my self. I didn't really want to think about Louis leaving, I wanted to spend as much time as we could together. I didn't know when he was leave cause he's never told me when. I drove back to the house and saw Louis standing outside waiting for me. "What took you so fucking long? Were you out cheating on me?" He said jokingly. "Just went out to do things, how are you feeling?" "Fine, I invited Niall over well...he invited his self over he wanted to see how you and I were." Niall always wanted to come visit Louis and I, he thought we were "so fuckin' cute" and sometimes wanted to just come over and party. Niall is a guy who doesn't seem he would be into the guy on guy stuff but he is, sometimes when he's drunk he'll kiss me. Louis didn't take that so well the first time that happened but then Louis knew why he did it..he was lonely. He hasn't found the right girl or guy, he hasn't been serious with anyone since his last break-up. "I can't believe your back Louis, I know Harry missed you lots! It's ok thought I drive by sometimes and hang out so he won't be so lonely." Louis looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "You two better not be fuckin' I'll be your fuckin ass you know that right ?" We all laughed at how stupid it was to think such a thing. Niall had went back home and it was just Louis and I and silence. "Babe...what's wrong you seem ...out of it today" I looked at him and smiled. "Nothing nothing, I just...you never told me when you were leaving.." Louis stood up and took at deep breath. "Tomorrow, early in the morning. I have to or else Harry, you know I'd stay if I could bu-" I cut him off. "I know I know you're doing this for the two of us and soon we will be free and do whatever." I was disappointed that I had just today with him. I couldn't see him leave again not right after he comes home. He came up to me and kissed my lips. "Baby, I'm sorry. I know this is hard. We will get through this. Nothing can come between us I promise alright?" I couldn't help but smile, he always knew how to make a good thing out of a bad situation. He gives you that smile and that sweet kiss and you can't help but smile at him. It's what I will miss most about him, later that evening we cuddled on the couch and watched all his favorite movies. He liked watching Captain America because he thought he was "so fucking yummy", he'd laugh at me for getting jealous. "Harry" Louis said in a soft tone. "....I don't want to leave you, I want to stay I missed you so much." "I want you to stay too but you have to. I don't want you to get hurt, I mean imagine what they would do, I couldn't handle that." Louis rolled his eyes, he didn't like when I didn't tell him what I wanted. He would say "someday you'll get tired of putting everyone before you and you'll be fucked. This is the worst way of destroying yourself. " i would just shrug and brush it off. He was right though but for now I'll keep doing it. "...ok Harry...well..we should go to bed I'm going tomorrow in the afternoon and I want to get as much sleep as can night Harry love you." That night I had a good sleep, Louis was with me I didn't feel so alone because I felt his presence, his body,heat. That's all I could ever want, I wanted to stay in bed with him forever and I didn't want it to be tomorrow already. It was 7:00 Am and I woke up without Louis by my side. "..L-Louis? ...Louis...LOUIS?!" My heart raced faster and faster I couldn't find him anywhere. Tears ran down my face, I didn't think he would leave without a goodbye. I went down stairs and saw a note on the table, it was from him.
Dear Harry,
Im sorry I left so early, I had to. I'm not strong enough to say goodbye, sounds weird coming from me because I'm not usually ..weak. I love you too much to say goodbye and that's why I didn't. So that's why I think we shouldn't be together anymore......I um....I found a girl and she......makes me um....happy. I hope you can find someone, please forget about us and starts fresh. Niall knows, I told, him everything and if you want he will come and see how you are. I know I am probably ripping your heart out and I'm so sorry you don't deserve it. I...I'm going to go now have a great life Harry I ..I love you so much x
Love,
Louis xx
I felt anger and my heart breaking at the same time. My fists bawled up and screamed. I screamed so loud and it felt so good. My eyes were stinging from all the crying. He broke my fucking heart how could I not be mad or sad or angry. I hated him I fucking hated him and all I could do is want him back here and telling me it was going to be alright. I went out , that was the only thing I could do. I found an alcohol on the other side of town and I bought as much vodka as I could. I had bought 6 bottles and I only drank, two full bottles. I couldn't walk straight I kept falling and threw up a few times. I heard a knock on the door,, it was Niall.
