One Winter's Night

When the Snow Starts to Stick

***Present Day***

I sat on my bed in my new apartment trying to put the pieces together from my old life and what my life has now become. The lights were off and the sun had just started to go down. I was alone in the dark. I was alone in my mind. 

The events of that night replay over and over again in my head. That night changed my life forever and I don't know who to turn to. I haven't talked to Roman in over a week when my emotions came flooding out. It was the most distraught I have ever been and now I am reliving that night everyday. 

There is no joy. No peace. No serenity for me in this new life. I try to overcome my emotions by going to my regularly scheduled therapy sessions but they never seem to work. I don't dive into my feelings like I use to because of all the pain that overwhelms me. 

Every night I sit and stare out of the window in my room. Wishing I was anywhere else but here. Wishing I was with Roman. Wishing I could take the pain away. But it never happens. The comfort of my room has turned into a prison. There's a way in but no way out. I am stuck in this life I did not ask for. 

I have all the time in the world but it seems to go by so slowly. Now, I only sleep and dream of the life I had and of the life I will never have again. 

***1 year ago***

I woke up wrapped in Roman's arms. I felt his breath on my neck as he sleep next to me. I didn't get a chance to explain my feelings about Alayla because he fell asleep. I closed my eyes again before hearing a knock on the door. My mother always woke me up at 10:30 am to make sure I could eat some breakfast and take my time getting ready before I headed to my first class at noon. 

She opened the door very slowly and walked to my bed. She sat down on the edge and stroked the side of my face. I was the first child to be born in my family. Before I was conceived, my mother had three miscarriages . She never thought she was able to have children until she found out she was pregnant with me. 

"Reignah? Sweetie, it's time to get up," she whispered to me. Her voice was melodic and sweet. She lit up every room she entered. I looked up at her and smiled. 

She glanced over a Roman and gave me one of her classic 'I told you not to let Roman sleep in your bed anymore' look. 

"I know. We were talking and we both just fell asleep. I'm sorry," I told her honestly. 

"I know he's your best friend, but you are getting too old for him to be sleeping in the same bed as you. I love him as a son but I know your father would have a fit," she explained it to me for the thousandth time. 

"I know, mom. I'm sorry."

She gave me a stern look and shook Roman's shoulder to wake him up. 

"Roman, it's time to get up. I have breakfast ready for you two," she said very sweetly. He lifted his head and opened his eyes. 

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. I really didn't mean to stay here last night, Mrs. Williams." He moved his body away from mine to go down stairs for breakfast. My mother gave him a hug and her stern face again. 

"You are always welcome here but not in my daughter's bed." She kissed his cheek and walk to the door. 

"Be downstairs in 10 minutes for breakfast, please." She smiled and shut the door on her way back. 

I looked at Roman as he got back in the spot he use to be in before he was woken up. The space where his body was on mine had grown cold but as he laid down I felt the heat come back on my skin again. He wrapped his arms around me. I felt his muscle tense up as I moved my body more comfortable against his. As I moved my body down his I started to notice that we fit together very well. His body was always warm, which was very different than my cold natured body.

My body fit into hi like a puzzle piece. His body completed me. 

Five minutes went by as we laid like this. I went to move but Roman held my down next to him. I wasn't comprehending what was going on but my body started to tingle in every place he touched. His hands were around my hips and abdomen. All I wanted to do was rip his clothes off and go to town. 

I knew that I shouldn't be feeling this about Roman but I do and I don't know if he feels the same way or not. When my urges started to become more intense, I knew I had to get out of the bed before I did something I would regret. I started to move from him again as he held my body tighter. I started to fight hard until he was eventually on top of me. His body was in between my legs as he was holding my arms down by my wrists.              

My eyes never left his as his grip on my wrist became tighter. I wanted him to take me right there. Instead he moved both of my hands above my head. He grabbed both of my wrists with his left hand. With his right hand, he began to tickle me. 

My laughter turned into pleads to get him to stop but all he did was laugh. My crop top was working its way up my abdomen. He had a clear view of my pale stomach. He then started to tickle me again until I was begging him to stop. He got off of me and walked to my bedroom door. He turned to look at me, blew me a kiss, and went down stairs to get breakfast.

I laid in my bed with my mouth wide open. My best friend shouldn't be making me feel this way. I slowly got out of my bed and changed my shirt. I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth before heading down stairs. I spat the water out of my mouth and went down the stairs. I walked into the kitchen where my twin brother and sister were sitting, eating their eggs. 

Sara and Stephen were three years old. Sara was older than Stephen by two and a half minutes. They both had gray eyes and dirty blonde hair. It was a perfect mixture between my mother and father's hair. The twins features looked exactly like both of my parents. I, on the other hand, looked exactly like my mother. I had no feature that reminded me of my father at all, which makes me a little skeptical about if he really is my father. I know it might be a little wrong to think that about that only man in my life, besides Roman, might not be my father.

I sat down in my char at the rectangular, dark, cherry wooded table, and began to eat breakfast. My mother always made me a big breakfast. It consisted of fruit, grits with cheese, bacon, pancakes, and scrambled eggs. My favorite part is when my mother would put chocolate chips in my pancakes. I absolutely loved chocolate. 

I ate my entire plate of food before going back upstairs to take a shower. Roman and I had big plans that day. We have to go to the store to get stuff for our road trip at the end of the year. We had to get blankets, gas cans, and more, so we don't get stranded. 

As I started to get into the shower, I heard a knock on the door. 

"Yes?" I yelled over the running water. 

The door cracked open enough for Roman to say, "Hey, I'm gonna go back to my house to get dressed and come back. Is that okay?"

He waited for my reassuring answer at the door, "Yeah that's fine, just text me when you're driving back over here." 

"Okay, see you in an hour or so." Roman closed to the door after I said my good byes. 

I pulled the shower curtain open and stepped under the warm water. I stood there thinking about yesterday's events and the events to come. It's getting harder and harder to control my lust for him. I stood under the water, thinking about Roman.