DISCONTINUED A Court of Blood and Night Rewritten

Preface Part Two

The night was silent, the stars glittering pinpoints of light that littered the darkness of the sky. They stretched on forever, until I couldn't see them from where I perched on the windowsill of my bedroom. I stared at them wistfully. I could return home, to Rhys, whenever I pleased, but I wasn't done. Until I'd broken Tamlin and his Court, I would not be done. Even as I thought of it, of what he and Ianthe had done to me and my family, a slow, boiling rage burned inside me, until smoke was in my mouth, acrid and burning. I willed the ice in my veins to cool it and let out a silent sigh.

I looked away from the sky and turned away from the window, leaning against the pane. Tamlin was asleep, tired from negotiating with Hybern's pets all day. His blonde hair was sprawled out over the pillows like a halo around his head, and my lip curled. Some angel he was, allying with Hybern and allowing him to bring chaos to the Courts. To his own Court, which he was supposed to be protecting. Had he forgotten so easily their own trials with Amarantha, or had he forbidden them from speaking of her too?

My eyes strayed to my arms, folded across my chest. My right arm was the same as my left, until I lifted the glamour. A night-colored tattoo was inked on my skin, and my lips quirked slightly at one side. His biggest mistake was telling me about his plans-- ignoring that little voice in the back of his head that warned against it. That voice that could still sense that somehow, Rhys was with me, even after being separated for months. Perhaps it was because his scent clung to me, months after I'd returned. Perhaps it was just the feeling that something wasn't quite right. Either way, he kept his promise when he said he'd keep me in the loop, much to my surprise.

Little did Tamlin know that I reported every little thing to Rhys as I learned them.

The hollow pain in my chest throbbed as I thought about my High Lord, and I exhaled sharply, clenching my jaw. No. I would not let that pain have its way with me tonight.

It wasn't just thinking of Rhys that was making me a mess; it was everyone. I hadn't received many updates about the conditions of Cassian and Azriel, nor the state of my sisters while they tried to adjust to their new bodies. I trusted Rhys, but was still anxious. They were my family, after all. Every single one of them. And they all had been impacted by that awful day when Hybern had set the trap.

Tamlin shifted in his sleep, and I had enough time to throw the glamour over my arm before his voice mumbled, "Feyre?" He opened his eyes, staring through the darkness to look at me.

I wiped my face clear of expression except for a shy, affectionate smile. Still healing, but better than I was. "Right here," I whispered back. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"Why are you awake?" He blinked blearily at me. "Are you alright?"

He'd begun to constantly check up on me as I revealed more horrors about my time in the Night Court. It was a bit too easy to spin those ideas into stories after seeing the Court of Nightmares, after seeing what they were like. Some of the lies I'd told him had tasted like poison, and I was a bit horrified by the fact that I'd come up with them in the first place. The idea of Rhys and the Inner Circle doing any of it had been awful, but some of these crimes... Mother forgive me. It was the fact that they believed every word I said that made telling those stories so awful. They willingly believed me, even Lucien, who was suspicious of me most days, and it killed me a little inside. 

I nodded, keeping that smile on my face. "Yes. I just couldn't sleep, that's all." I approached the bed and forced myself to keep a neutral expression, instead of grimacing like I wanted to. I slipped under the blankets and breathed through my mouth so I wouldn't have to breathe in his scent.

Rhys. I missed Rhys. The gaping hole in my chest yawned like an abyss. I should be laying beside him. I should be smiling at him. Revenge may be sweet, but the path to it is hard.

Tamlin fell asleep again quickly, but I continued to stare at the ceiling, wishing that sleep would pull me under and take me away from this nightmare.

It didn't.

And so the High Lady of the Night Court suffered through another night of pretending she was someone she wasn't-- and so the game continued.