A Secret Love

Comfort or confront?

The following day had consisted of me lying on my bed, curled in a ball, eating until I fell asleep. I did not think, could not think, about anything.
I especially couldn't think of my
not-so-dead former boyfriend, Fred. So, I ate to occupy my mind.
I had just finished off my second tub of strawberry ice cream when I heard a knock on the bedroom door.
"Who is it?" I groggily asked. "It's just me," I recognised the voice immediately to be Ron.
Oh no. Ron. He's the one that got me into this mess in the first place. If he'd just have kept his big mouth shut I wouldn't be in such pain-again. But I'm also thankful that he didn't because if he had, I wouldn't even know that Fred is actually alive!

"Come in Ron." The door creaked open and a pale red headed face met mine. It hadn't occurred to me until then that he'd began to grow a little stubble-y moustache.
I quickly hid the ice cream on the other side of my bed and sat up. When he'd made a spot on the foot of my bed he said,"hey."
"Hi, how are you today?" He seemed to be confused as he raised one eyebrow. "I'm fine.. how are you?" Once again he raised an eyebrow, quizzically.
"Oh, I'm great actually. Just found out my Hogwarts boyfriend is alive and all my friends and family have been lying to me for years. Life couldn't be better," I stated as matter-of-fact as possible.
Ron went pale and shifted in place. He didn't say anything.
We sat in awkward silence for a long time, me staring out the window, him staring at his hands.

How can he come in here and just assume I'd be fine and dandy? Wasn't he aware of my feelings for Fred? I thought we were going to get married. Have kids together. Buy a flat and raise our family together... But I was wrong. I guess Fred didn't feel those things about me. I don't think I can ever be the same person I was. I don't think I can ever go back. I don't want to see him again. I don't think I have it in me.

As Ron finally sensed that I had nothing to say to him, he got up from the bed, nodded to me and headed for the door. I kept my eyes on the window.
"For what it's worth (your name), I am sorry. I wish I would've told you sooner." And with that the door creaked open, then closed.
I finally let the slow hot tears burn down my face. I pulled out the stow-away ice cream and began my endless cycle of devouring everything in sight.

I was not bothered for the rest of the day.

<3 <3 <3

The next day was Friday. Fridays use to be my favourite day because you get to leave work early and join your friends at the local pub.
Now, I can't drink, I don't want to party, or even leave the burrow. I don't want to see my friends just so they can lie about how "great" I look.
I'm a complete wreck.
So, this Friday, I've decided to go out. Not to party or get wasted, just to have some adult fun. Not adult adult. Just adult, like me time, but with family.
Molly, Arthur, Ginny, Harry and Mione weren't busy, so I invited them all to have dinner with me.
A new restaurant, The olive spoon, recently opened just a block from George's shop, and he told me how great it is, so I decided to take everyone there.

But why should I listen to him? He didn't even tell me his own twin was alive.

The food was actually great though, they have an all natural-super healthy section that's great for expectant women. I think George remembered this and told me about the restaurant to get on my good side. Damn him.
Of course, I got two entrees-the Parmesan chicken with bow tie pasta, and a cheeseburger with everything on it. Dessert was a caramel, chocolate chip cookie. But it was the size of a small bunt pan. It was all delicious.
After a great meal and surprisingly no tears (maybe I finally ran out), I settled into bed when we got to the burrow. I immediately fell asleep, exhausted from the day's events.
To my horror, I dreamt of a
not-so-dead Weasley the entire
night.