All By Myself...

Chapter 1

Chapter 1 ~ Niall's POV

'If you can hear me, I love you. If you can hear me I love you. If you can hear me, I love you.' I repeated my new found mantra in my head as I made my way to school.

Yes with everything that happened I somehow managed to pass the school year despite the fact I hardly ever attended. With the new school year starting today I didn't know what to expect from everybody.

'If you can hear me, I love you. If you can hear me I love you. If you can hear me, I love you.' I walked into the school gates and found myself at a loss. I didn't know where to go, I had always gone to where Harry hung out but now... I didn't know.

I looked up from my shoes and wasn't surprised to see everyone's eyes on me. But I also wasn't surprised when I looked to the side at the halls and the memories of everything to take place in them resurfaced in my mind which only triggered other memories. And eventually my breathing sped up and heart seemed bound to burst from my chest any minute, I couldn't handle the trip down memory lane while everyone was watching me.

I nearly ran to the field was, where I knew no one would be right. I checked before I pulled a cigarette out of my pocket and lit it. Under the bleachers wasn't exactly a hidden spot but it was good enough for the time being. I only need 5 minutes alone tops.

But of come to accept the fact that god hates me within the last almost year since I met Layla. "I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm surprised. I mean I new you were going through a bad boy thing but this is ... impressive. I thought you would never get a tattoo." I didn't have to turn around to know it was Harry.

I looked down at my arms, fully covered and shrugged. "I got one, liked it and got more." I took a long drag and watched the smoke in front of me when I blew it out.

"Is that a cigarette!" Now I turned around. And there like a fucking stab to the chest, was Giana right under Harry's arm. Lucky for her I was above hitting a girl.

"Did you tell him?" I asked staring down slightly at her.

"I- I- uh...." She couldn't form a correct sentence under my glare. I couldn't help but let out a breathy laugh at her reaction.

"Of course you didn't, what was I thinking? Anyways it was nice seeing you two, always a pleasure." Sarcasm dripped from my tone and when I crushed the cigarette under my shoe I left them both standing under the bleachers dumb founded. Before I was out of hearing distance I called over my shoulder, "Oh, and thanks for all your help by the way!"

And just like that incident that kicked off the year, the rest of the day was torture. While going to class all I got was stares and while I was at my locker I could feel all the guys eyes on me. Giana tried to talk to me but her attempts were about as useful a flightless bird. Even one of my teachers asked about this "new change." I was just happy to be going to the house.

'If you can hear me, I love you. If you can hear me I love you. If you can hear me, I love you.' I leaned against a rail lighting and relighting my lighter. If you can hear me, I love you. If you can hear me I love you. If you can hear me, I love you.'

"That can be dangerous you know." Louis tried cracking a joke. When he didn't see me laughing like I would have it had been before he gave up. "Harry told me about this but I didn't really want to believe it until I saw you"

"What do you want?" I asked flatly.

"I just wanted to see what was up with you?" I saw someone get shot then had to watched as the love of my life got cut up and then got the privilege of being able to hold her while she died, why would you think something's wrong?