Ren X Haru~ {Super Lovers} Your Mine

Sleep Deprived

Hello, my name is Kaidou Ren. I am currently 16 years old and have brown hair and brown eyes. I have a strange feeling that I'm asleep right now, so if I am dreaming I might as well tell you all amazing readers a little bit about myself. Although I bet you already know who I am.

Like I said before my name is Kaidou Ren and I attend high school right now. I was adopted at the age of 6 and I think I was born in Canada? I can speak fluent Japanese, though it's hard to write plus my sports teacher at school told me I lack emotion in my writing. Even Haru tells me sometimes there is no passion in what I write.

Haru's right it's hard for me to express my feelings with facial expression and I mostly get misinterpreted by him and others around me. Although the truth is, I love Haru. I don't mean the cute friendship brotherly type of love, but the "love love" in a romantic way... oh god it makes me blush every time I think of my feelings for him like that!!

I wonder if he feels the same way about me too? I mean, he cares about me and fusses over using all possible ways to spoil me. However, I can't help but get bothered as he still only sees me as a younger brother instead of a 16-year-old boy, who doesn't need to be treated like a kid all the time. Honestly, that "Baka" always bugs me, but I still love him. He's caring and affectionate, kind and thoughtful with a simple clueless mind.

And yet, my thoughts always trail back to him. He's the only person I can think about during school, lessons, home, work and at night. Is it wrong for me to feel these things for him? I mean technically he's not really my brother and we are not really related in any way. However, there is still the age difference between us and the fact that his previous job was a host meaning his annoying good looks and charm still capture the hearts of girls, women and (unfortunately) men fawning for him. Egghggh that "Baka"!!! I could never tell him how jealous I get every time someone other than me touches him. Or when he smiles that beautiful, light-filled smile that warms my insides and leaves me breathless with my heart beating whilst he casually talks to people with no care in the world.

Sometimes I do wonder about those strange kinds of situations in the cafe. You see every time someone brings Haru a gift, such as expensive chocolate wrapped with a bow, food, clothes or even marriage proposals, he never accepts them and calmly tells them no or just laughs it off.

I never understand what his intentions are and not trying to boast or anything, but I understand people straight away...however Haru is a closed off book to me. His patronising sparkling smile, haunting my dreams and creating them into pleasurable nightmares. His soft deep voice containing such exotic control and kindness-

Stop it, I can't think about Haru in this kind of way!

Why does he always do this to me? He is always busy running the cafe with Ikuyoshi and yet, he still has time for me, Aki and Shima who are his other step twin brothers.

It angers me how careless Haru can be whilst a) not knowing my feelings towards him and b) the fact that I'm not strong enough to love him secretly under the same roof for much longer... it's hard enough seeing him every day..., but not being able to make him mine is something I cannot deal with... I just wish I have the confidence to tell Haru of my plans to leave him, Aki and Shima.
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"Ren wake up!", I stirred at the very mention of my name. Rubbing my eyes, the corners filled with sleep. I blinked twice my eyes adjusting to the dimmed darkness. The blinds were still down. Strange? Why am I awake at such an early hour.

"Ren?" The room was still dark and a sudden headache began hurting my head as I slowly glided my fingers in circular motions pushing hard on my temples.