Demons That Haunt Me

Chapter 15; Dummies

Rin woke up back in the hellish chair from before. Surprisingly enough, his sleep had been dreamless, nothing but a blank, black void.

Blinking rapidly to clear the bleariness from his vision, Rin was suddenly assaulted with the memories from last night. He seized up, gasping like a fish out of water, but no tears came. Why wasn't he crying? He should be crying - shouldn't he?

He found that he was forgetting. Where were those painful memories going? They were blurry. All of his memories were blurry, really. Maybe his mind had been through so much trauma that it was just... shutting itself down? Was it giving up those memories so they couldn't torture him anymore? If so, why were the good memories fading, too?

All Rin really knew right now was a strange emptiness. That, and that he never wanted to feel as intensely as he had last night ever again. The sadness that had erupted from his chest in those short moments had felt like it was going to kill him. He had utterly given up, and never wanted to feel that way again. So maybe, just maybe, this emptiness was okay. Maybe it could help him - maybe he shouldn't fight it.

I mean... what do I have left to fight for, anyways? My friends - can I even call them that? - are not coming to get me. Either I give in right now, or I just get tortured more, with no escape. Was there ever an escape in the first place?

Rin barely acknowledged the door opening, nor did he turn his head to see the person following the closing slam. Only when the lanky man stood right in front of Rin's unseeing eyes did he focus his dead, almost lifeless gaze on the being. What was his name again? Oh, yeah, that's right. It was Doctor Bisheer.

"So, Rin.. I'll ask you again - can you pledge your undying loyalty to the Vatican?"

Rin's first instinct was still to say no, to scream and shout and fight, but suddenly, he couldn't even really remember what he was fighting for. The people that he was counting on - they weren't coming. He had known it deep down, though the brown mist had helped him bring it to the surface. The thing was that all this time, through thick and thin, he had kept on hoping. And now, finally, finally, he had given up on that hope.

Yukio? Shura? Bon? Shima and the others? They weren't coming - they were never coming. Why had he been so foolish to think that they were? That they cared?

And so, Rin let go the hold he had on himself, on his free will. He had nothing left to fight for, anyways. "Yes, I do."

Doctor Bisheer's smile was cold enough to freeze the entire ocean in one go. We've finally got him.

"Good, good.. come with me."

The burning cuffs released themselves without, seemingly, any command given to them. Rin stood up, looking around warily, as if he was surprised that it was this easy. If he had known a simple word was all he needed, no blood vows or things to force the truth, Rin would of just lied to the man in the first place - too bad he actually meant it this time.

With that, Rin followed the man into a room. A quick glance around confirmed that, indeed, there were human shaped dummies all around him. They were nailed to the walls, though some hung swinging from what looked disturbingly like nooses. Why did Rin not feel disturbed in the slightest? Why did he still feel nothing?

Rin was about to question himself when he remembered the night - how long was it, even? - that he had spent in the mist. He remembered all the pain, the hopelessness he had felt, remembered how his friends had abandoned him, now and when they found out about him.

And Rin thought that he preferred this new emptiness compared to that, so he didn't try to stop it. Didn't try to force himself to feel something, anything. He just went blank and did what Dr. Bisheer asked of him without a second thought.