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Part 4: The moments we regret

The car takes off leaving us in a tension filled atmosphere, usually this would be when he asks me about school. Then I would say how boring it was when I'm secretly replaying moments of that day. He parks the car we sit there for a bit, I decide to get off first. When we both enter inside dad tells me to sit down, I carefully take out a chair and sit. He sits across from me. I hope he's not going to ask what happened, I don't want to talk about it.

"Hannah, I know you may have questions about what happened, but right now I can't tell you." Honestly I don't care I just want to forget that day.

"Could we drop this dad, I said I'm fine!" He sighs again,

"We have to move before it's too late."

"What are you saying dad?"

"Hannah, were- you're not safe here anymore." What does he mean? "I thought I would be able to protect you on my own..." He rambles. I get up from my seat,

"I don't understand, is this some joke? What do you mean I'm not safe anymore!"

"I'll explain everything when were there." He says sternly. I run up to my room and slam my door, what the hell is going on! Why did he say I'm not safe anymore! Maybe I'm in a bad dream, I pinch myself hard. Nothing, this is real... this is my reality. Two days go by without me not speaking to my father or acknowledging him. The only reasons I go downstairs is to eat and use the bathroom. I sit in my room ignoring calls, and texts from everyone. I sit on my bed holding my injured arm, it doesn't sting as much anymore. I roll up my sleeve slowly and see a ghastly scar, it's starting to become a scab. It looks worse, I preferred it when it was just a cut. Now it's a scar, a ghastly scar. I unroll my sleeve and lay on my back; staring at the ceiling I let out a long sigh. There's no use, I don't even know why I'm fighting this?  I don't have a say I'm only sixteen, I can't drive yet, and I don't have a permit. Monday morning, I step downstairs slowly meeting my dad's worry gaze.

"Where are we moving to?"

"Idaho." From South Carolina to Idaho that's a big change. I was hoping it would be somewhere closer. I say nothing after that; we head in the car and he drops me off to school. I don't know how I'm going to tell Justin and Lola. And Noah... during third period I get called to the office. I step in the office and they motion me to follow them. The past minutes they gather info from me about my transfer. Since it's so last minute they question the reason for my sudden transfer. I just lie and say my dad got a new job. They nod understandingly and explain to me about my classes and requirements. They insist on me working harder on the majority of the classes that way I won't have to retake a year. For once, I agree with them. I leave the office and take a slip to class. I sit in my seat and try to catch up on the lesson, when class ends I gather my stuff and leave. I can hear Lola running behind me,

"Sup girl!" She smacks me hard on the back. I rub my back,

"Geez Lola!" She giggles.

"You seem spaced out lately, is something wrong?" I give her a slight smile.

"Lola, I'm moving." She stares at me for awhile,

"Stop messing around," She slaps my arm lightly, she looks up and sees there's no smile on my face. Her happy demaner fades,

"Your serious?" I nod slightly. "But, why?" I wish I knew,

"My dad got a job." She fidgets with her bracelet looking down at the ground. There's no use in hiding it anymore.

"When?" She looks up at me with a sad expression,

"Really...soon." My dad is arranging for us to move next week, I don't know why and I don't bother to ask. He might just lie to me again, "And... Lola." She looks up at me hesitantly,
"Don't tell anyone, I'm going to tell them soon but not right now." She nods at me understandingly. When we head to the cafeteria together Justin and Noah are waiting to greet us. Lola acts like her normal self and even smiles more than usual, I eat my food timidly. Noah looks at me concerned. I give him a half hearted smile; well at least Lacey isn 't here my mood would go down even more. Justin babbles about a movie night he has planned, I try to be excited about it. But my mind is elsewhere, if it's not in that horrid memory it's thinking of my current situation. I'm fucked either way, Justin is starting to catch on he even started pestering Lola. She reassures him he's overreacting again, but Justin doesn't buy it. I've known him for the longest. Justin trusts his gut more than others around him;he's a very caring person and he hates lying. Not only that, but he's able to sense lies from people. At first I thought I was just too obvious but overtime I noticed he's not only able to tell lies from me but from others too! As days pass by, I work even harder on my grades. I don't want to have to retake a class or graduate late! Justin insisted on having a movie night today, so we all agreed. Lola was in charge of the movie since Justin would "accidentally" put on a porno movie. I laughed out loud just thinking about it, everyone was so uncomfortable. And of course out of all the times Noah and I never sat together that was the one day we did. Justin was just laughing and making excuses and insisted there's a good story. We didn't even last a minute Lola walked up and took the movie out. Ever since that, Justin isn't allowed to pick a movie. My footsteps reach Lola's front porch, I reach for my phone in my pocket to text Lola. Before my fingers even reach the inside of my pocket the door flies open. Inside I see Noah and Justin chatting, Noah looks to be slightly irritated and Justin is just his same old goofy self. Lola is at the door her face is worrisome when she sees mine. I bit my lip and nod at her, she softly nods back. As we stuff ourselves with all the snacks and drinks Lola sets up the movie. I smile and laugh here and there, I'm still a little shaken by the incident but not as much;I'm doing better. But at the same time, I could be better.