Sweater Paws | Banginho

Chapter 4 - So What...?

It didn't help though. Minho still felt sick to his stomach every time he saw Chan and Woojin together, and he needed something to take that away. He wanted someone. Jisung? Truthfully, though, he wanted anyone. Anyone who could numb the pain of it all.

First it was Hyunjin. Hyunjin made Minho feel special- for a while. But their relationship ended within days. There was never any real feelings there anyway. Then it was Felix, the new boy. Minho enjoyed the feeling of taking care of someone again, in a way it reminded him of his days with Jisung. However, again, it ended quickly. This carried on for months- Changbin, Seungmin, Jeongin, Jisung again...

Chan couldn't be happier- he didn't think. Woojin was as close to the 'perfect boy' from his songs that he could get. He was amazing, but Chan couldn't stop wondering. He wished someone like that existed. His eyes, his voice, the sweater paws- this made-up boy was perfect. He couldn't exist. He just couldn't. Could he?

Both boys were questioning their choices, but not enough to back down. Minho knew what he was doing was wrong, playing around with multiple boys just to drop them days later. You could barely call it a relationship. Chan was afraid to search for his made-up boy, despite starting to question his feelings for Woojin. Neither wanted to be alone. That's why they were making all the wrong decisions.

"Another?" Chan shouted, "How many boyfriends do you have to go through?"
Chan didn't often get angry, especially at Minho. He was just worried about him. Minho, however, was scared by Chan's sudden outburst. He didn't want to admit it. It was jealousy, he just wanted attention. Or maybe it was something else.
"I... I don't know" Minho stuttered.
A wave of nervousness washed over him again, and he pulled the sleeves of his jacket over his hands. He can't tell the truth. Not to Chan.
"What do you mean you don't know?" the older boy asked.
Minho reduced himself to tears. "I just don't know what else to do"

Minho cried harder, and Chan pulled him close, wrapping his arms around the younger boy. "You can tell me anything, okay?" Chan reassured him.
"Anything?" Was he sure about that? If Minho told him the truth, how would he feel? Minho wasn't feeling alone, ignored, replaced. He wasn't. The truth was- he couldn't say it. He was falling for his best friend. And he was falling hard.
"Anything" Chan replied softly, "What happened to you?"
"I...I..." Minho started to speak, but was stopped when another wave of tears came over him. He pulled himself closer to Chan, burying his face in Chan's neck. He felt safe like that. He knew Chan would never let anything hurt him. He knew he couldn't be touched with Chan around. But he didn't know what to do; he wanted more, and he hated it. "It's okay," Chan's voice was softer still this time, "Tell me everything"

Minho couldn't bring himself to say it. He told lies, saying he was lonely. That was the only way he wouldn't hurt Chan. Once again, he let him get away.

Slowly, the two started to repair their friendship. Chan thought it would help. It did, but Minho's feelings still tied him up in knots whenever Chan was around. He hated it; it made his nervous habits take over. Little did he know that Chan had noticed.

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A/N: I'm sorry this is really bad!!! I'm working on a Changlix fanfic at the moment and hopefully that's going to be better than this one. I also have an idea for a Banginho/Changlix vampire fic but I can't get any further than 3 paragraphs into the 1st chapter.