What History Books Don't Tell You

Story #2: Drag the sati into the flames - India

Disclaimer: The video that I attached may be distressing to some people, it's about the old Hindu tradition called sati. Child marriages were always prevalent in India - girls as young as 8 were married to men as old as 60. When they began menstruating, they were sent off to actually live with their older husbands. Since these men were so old, they would die and their widows would become satis - the widow was burnt along with the dead body of their husband. So if you want the full experience of this story, watch the video. It may be horrifying to your senses ie difficult to understand, will come as a shock but well, you will see how difficult it was to be a woman.

She lay in the centre of the heavily-canopied bed. She was drowning in the red silk sheets embroidered with gold. What she had just endured was far worse than trying to milk an angry cow. Her husband pulled at his trousers and looked at her with distaste. He was mumbling incoherent phrases and she was trying hard not to listen to what he was saying. He shut the door hard and she could hear the door being latched.

She looked down at her naked body and began to search around the room for her clothes. She caught sight of her white cotton salwar-khameez and grabbed it immediately. She pulled on her clothes and then got out of the bed, studying her surroundings.

Then suddenly, the door burst open and her mother-in-law stood at the entrance. Uncertain, the girl stared into her eyes. Then the older woman pulled the girl by her hair and hit her head several times.

"You cannot defy your husband," the woman repeated to her with every slap. The girl let out sharp cries like a wounded animal. This did not stop the woman. "His last wife may have ended her life, but here we will make sure that you remember every minute that you have been here."

There was a loud scream from outside the room and the room went silent. "Ma!" the shrill voice screamed and the mother-in-law dropped the girl from her grasp. She ran out of the room and the girl followed.

Then they were faced with the worst thing that could've happened that night. The woman on her knees, crying out loud, looking at her son's body on the floor. He was still breathing, but that didn't stop them all from thinking of the same thing - if he slipped off the stairs and fell on his head, he would die soon. There was a pool of blood at his head and he was trembling, unable to speak.

"Call Agha right now!" the woman screamed at the servant girl. The servant girl scurried away into the dark night, screaming out loud for help, screaming for a doctor and for the landlord. The older woman now looked into her daughter-in-law's eyes with pure hatred. The only sound in the room was her son's laboured breathing. The young girl looked ready to run, but run where?

"This is all your fault," the woman spat at her. "If you had not disappointed him, he would still be in bed and most importantly, safe! You are a witch! You caused his death. Three years of marriage and on the night that you spend with him, you have ended his life." She began to sob and pull at her hair. Then there were people in the room, rushing to carry the man outside to the village doctor's house.

While all this was happening, while her mother-in-law kept shouting curses at her in front of everyone in the room, while a few women hugged her and while the little girl stood still in shock, all she could think was, "He went downstairs to do the same thing with the servant girl."

"She will become a sati."

"She deserves to be one. Didn't you hear? She cast magic on him."

"We warned them that she was a blacksmith's daughter. Black magic rubs off on them quickly."

"The Agha says he will marry her."

The girl sat at the foot of the bed in the same white clothes that she was in earlier. She hadn't been downstairs for a long time, but the women around her chanted prayers endlessly and would pause to gossip even more. She was circled like a witch. Her own family escaped, from what the women said. No one wanted to save her. Except for the Agha.

The Agha was young, he was 20 years old and she was 14. He was from Afghanistan. He had kind green eyes and he smiled at her when he sat before her. "I will marry you," he said in broken Hindi. She nodded. "I won't let you burn." And finally, she let out all the unshed tears that she held in for weeks. "I'm doing this because it was my mother's wish that I could do some good. You can come with me to Kabul. I am somewhat of an outcast, but my riches cushion me from being one." She was drowning in the comfort of his words. He was her Prince, here to save her from all this misery. 

But all she could think was - what about other girls like her? 

Reference:

 Sati also carried romantic associations which some were at apparent pains to amplify. Stein (1978) states "The widow on her way to the pyre was the object (for once) of all public attention...Endowed with the gift of prophecy and the power to cure and bless, she was immolated amid great fanfare, with great veneration". Only if she was virtuous and pious would she be worthy of being sacrificed; consequently being burned or being seen as a failed wife were often her only choices (Stein 1978). Indeed, the very reference to the widow from the point at which she decided to become a "Sati" (Chaste One) removed any further personal reference to her as an individual and elevated her to a remote and untouchable context. It is little wonder that women growing up in a culture in which they were so little valued as individuals considered it the only way for a good wife to behave. The alternative, anyway, was not appealing. After the death of a husband a Hindu widow was expected to live the life of an outcast, renouncing all social activities, shaving her head, eating only boiled rice and sleeping on thin coarse matting (Moore 2004). To many, death may have been preferable, especially for those who were still girls themselves when their husband's died.  

Over the centuries, many of India's inhabitants have disagreed with the practice of sati. Since its very foundation, the Sikh religion has explicitly prohibited it. Sati was regarded as a barbaric practice by the Islamic rulers of the Mogul period, and many tried to halt the custom with laws and edicts banning the practice. Many Hindu scholars have argued against sati, calling it "as suicide, and...a pointless and futile act"; both abolitionists and promoters of sati use Hindu scripture as a justification of their position.   

To be fair, I had read about sati in my 7th grade history textbook, but it was never covered because it was a sensitive topic. But this... it still horrifies me till this day. The ending is meant to give some sort of relief, however, I am sorry to say that it would've also been very unlikely. A Pashtun attempting to save this girl would be impossible, though they definitely were in India from the 14th century (Afghans were not rare in India) and also, from her mother-in-law's behaviour, the girl would be 'punished' to purify her.

Anyways, thank you for reading :)