"Soulmate"

Soulmate" (Chapter 3)

Sam…bakit ang tahimik mo…

Julie…need to tell you something…

What?

I don’t think this is a good idea…not anymore…

What?! What are you saying? I left my family for you…and now…

Julie…sorry but I don’t love you….I lied…

Sam….tell me nagbibiro ka lang di ba? You’re not being funny….

With tears streaming down my cheeks…how I wish that I’m not having this conversation

with him,

What if I’m not?

He looked at me and all I can see in his eyes was coldness….

What am I supposed to do now, go back? Yun ba?! You know I can’t!

I’m sorry…but you’re on your own now…di ka pwedeng sumama sa akin…

Hearing those from him, halos buhusan ako ng malamig na tubig. He knows very well that I

left because he assured me that we are on this together….pero bakit ngayon, iiwan nya ko sa

ere…

I can’t even say another word as I saw him walk away…

Halos di ko alam ang mararamdaman ko….the pain I’m feeling is indescribable…pano na

‘to…paano na ko?

The room that I was in now felt cold and damp…and instantly, I saw him…in his bed…his

eyes fixated on mine…half-smiling,

I moved closer and treaded with heavy feet…one, two, three steps….I was thinking, how

come he manages to smile at me, after doing what he did…

One, two more steps and now I’m at the right side of his bed….he then motioned for me to

sit…as much as I want to refuse…I occupied the space and sat near him…

Julie….

He spoke first. I just looked at him…intently…

Sam…how are you feeling?

Such was a stupid question, I know…he looks sick and right now, my anger faded a bit….

Glad you came…

He spoke again.

My throat seemed blocked and no voice came out of it. The throbbing pain in my chest

increased and while I want to feel sympathy…my anger, the lack of closure and forgiveness, is

making it hard for me to speak further.

He then held my hand and placed it on his chest….seeing him like this…all frail and

weak…the tears started to appear again…Galit ako sa kanya…galit ako eh….pero bakit

ganito…

I’m sorry….for not being with you…

I’m sorry…for not staying…for abandoning you…

I’m sorry, Julie….I’m sorry…

Ano ba ang dapat kong sabihin…ano ba ang dapat niyang marinig mula sa akin…seven

years is seven years…pero…kahit pa sabihing naaawa ako sa kanya…di ko kaya…di ko

kaya…

I’m sorry…

And just like that…I stood up and went for the door.

====================

“Bakit ka umalis? Akala ko ba, kaya tayo umuwi dito para sa kanya…”

We are back in their house…drinking…with a few bottles in tow….andito na naman kami,

me and Julie, talking….discussing, reminiscing a past that I myself has little knowledge of.

She took another bottle and opened it. She drank straight from the bottle ….and seemed not

paying attention to what I just said. Ganito siya pag galit, pag masama ang loob, iinom ng

iinom hanggang malasing….

“Alam mo ba kung ano ang nakalagay sa letter?”

She looked at me and I shook my head….to let her know that I’m basically clueless.

“The nerve of him to ask me to forgive him….the nerve of him to demand me to be here…just

to see him before he dies…”

And as she utters those words, she started crying….di ako kumibo, tiningnan ko lang siya,

pinagmasdan habang inuubos ang alak sa bawat inom…bawat lagok.

“Jules…”

“Alam mo ba, why I left this damn house years ago? Coz he asked me to. Sabi nya, he will

save me coz he loves me…sabi nya mahal nya ko…pero shit! Nung andun na ko, biglang

ayaw na niya, kasi daw hindi na nya ko mahal! Ano naman yun?!!”

“Jules…”

“Okay lang sana kung makakabalik ako, kung kaya kong bumalik dito nung mga panahon

na yun…kaso hindi…hindi pwede….ayoko.”

She then took another bottle at di ko man lang namalayan na naubos na niya ung hawak

niya kanina. I then decided to grab her hand and stop her.

“Tama na, pretty, akin na yan.”

“Moe ano ba? Hayaan mo na ko.”

“I said tama na.”

“No! Pwede ba?”

“I said stop!!!!”

And what came next startled me. She threw the bottle and screamed…for god’s sake, di ko

alam if nagising ba namin ang lahat ng tao sa barangay nila that time.

“What’s wrong with you?!”

With her head on her knees…upon hearing her sobs and cries….di ko alam ano ba talagang

nangyayari….we’ve been friends but apparently, I knew nothing about her…or her

life…when I met her, she was this ever confident, reliable working woman. Smart and pretty

no doubt. In our times together, rarely did I see her cry…not even when we broke up…yeah,

I know, for I asked Erika…her personal assistant.

I then saw her lift her head up….and like the huge mango trees in the backyard…as we are

again sitting here in the veranda…she spoke….habang nakatingin sa kawalan…

“How can you ever forgive a person who you thought would help you at the time when you

needed him the most…how will you ever forgive him kung alam mong pinabayaan ka nya at

hinayaang mag-isa kahit pa alam niyang wala nang natitira sa akin…I left this home coz I

can’t be here any longer…I left thinking that Sam would save me…besides, pag ba alam

mong your girlfriend is being molested by her stepfather, di mo ba siya sasagipin?”