Hindi lahat ng pagmamahal nasusukat sa magagandang salita….may mga pagmamahal
na nababahiran ng sakit…ng pagkabigo…ng pagtanggap sa di maganda.
Hindi lahat ng pagmamahal nagsisimula at nagtatapos nang may kalakip na
ngiti…sapagkat ang pagmamahal, tulad ng bahaghari, madaming kulay, madaming ibig
sabihin…
When we readied ourselves to leave, I never really thought that I would miss everything and
everyone instantly. It’s like taking those memories of pain and disappointment with me…but
unlike before, di na ko gaanong umiiyak, sapagkat tanggap ko na, ang bawat salita, ang
bawat hirap na kalakip ng pagmamahal…para sa sarili ko.
Jules, anak…don’t forget to text your siblings kung sakaling kelangan mo ng kausap ah…
Sure, Ma…take good care of yourself…be back soon…don’t worry…
Minsan, mahirap intindihin ang uri ng pagmamahal na binibigay ng mga taong nakasakit
sa’yo…but love is not all rosy and beautiful…it involves unexplainable gestures…actions of
concern…care…affection…
My mom and I…the love between us can never be rosy or beautiful…for still, my past
reflects her present and while others may find it odd…unacceptable…in my heart, I made
amends, made peace and forgiven…
Julie, iha…please be back this Christmas…for seven years, we spent it without you…alam
mo naman, di na bumabata si Lolo.
As my fave grandpa hugs me…I felt his warmth…his welcoming embrace…it’s like being
that seven-year old girl, who once played the piano…dreamt of creating music via her long,
delicate fingers…
“Ano ba yan, pinaglalaruan mo na naman yan, stop it Jules…natutulog ang lolo mo.” My
mom warned but then I heard him say,
“Susan, wag mong pagalitan ang bata. It’s good to start early, yaan mo siya, di ba apo?”
Then he winked at me.
Memories…memories like these bring before me a different kind of love- gentle, approving,
reassuring…and as I hug my fave grandpa back…I knew, I’ll be back…
“Tita, please tell Jeanel to call each time they visit Manila. They’re welcome in my home.
Para naman makapag-training na din si Rick.”
“Sige….I’ll tell her…thanks, Jules. Lika nga dito, etong pamangkin ko talaga, parang
kelan lang…hay naku…”
Tita Marcia, Tita Gina, Tita Grace….lahat sila…they bear in their hearts various forms of
love…for me, for us. Some of them show it through discipline; others through comfort. Some
show love by telling me what needs to be told, even though it hurts a bit…it’s the kind that
seems one of the hardest to accept but now, I realize that such love is the most difficult but
valuable to give…
I retraced the steps and faced my worst fears in order to live…
I faced my biggest nightmare in order to dream again…
I came searching for my “Soulmate” but only to find that death is there to take it away…and
at the end of the day…I retraced, faced and searched with the help of someone who accepts
me and sees me beyond those fears and nightmares…si Elmo…my best friend.
And as we hold hands and as he opens the car door for me…as I step inside and look over to
see my family…I knew that I was loved and loved still…
“Ready?” He asked, I waved for the last time and saw the faces of the people I once
forgot…people who failed me once in my life…and seeing them now…I am happy, I am
satisfied, more than ready to face the days ahead with needed courage and acceptance.
“Lika na.”
She is smiling now…a smile that will grace my every morning from now on. Si Julie…she
has been the only one who can affect me in ways that no other woman ever could. She was
once a long-lost dream…but now….she is my reality…
“Okay, pretty…sabi mo eh.”
He is smiling now….that smile that will grace my every morning, too. Si Elmo…he has been
the only one who traveled this far just to stay close…keep me company…comfort me in ways
that no man ever could. He was once the player…but now…he is my reality…
“What are you waiting for babe, bilisan mo, kala ko ba you wanna reach Manila nang mas
maaga.”
He leaned over….kissed me lightly on the lips and muttered, “Love you.”
She laughed and I can’t help myself from staring. My best friend…she is my Soulmate. The
best gift that an imperfect love perfectly gave.
YOU ARE READING
"Soulmate"
FanfictionMy best friend…she is my Soulmate. The best gift that an imperfect love perfectly gave.
