Dealin' With The Devil

Wally Warbles

Hm? Who're you? Waddya want?

Oh...I see.

There's not much to my story. Are you sure you'd wanna hear it? Alright....just...promise me one thing. Don't tell the kid about this.

Listen. As a father, it is my duty to protect my family and make the best for them. I don't know what I would do if something happened to my little boy. But, I also want them to be successful, and in a world like ours, that takes brain.

Unfortunately, there was no gene for that mixed in his genetics. So, in an irrational thought, I'll admit, I went to the one person I knew who could guarantee that my son would be smart. I didn't even think of the price, not until it was almost too late.

So, I was in the Devil's office, about to sign the contract when the word 'soul' in the fine print stuck out to me. He chuckled sinisterly but by his stance he was getting impatient.

Now, I know I'm not the brightest bulb, but even I know not to pull any tricks when Satan and his most trusted lackey are there to pummel you in an instant. I was gonna have to be smart about this; I was at a loss of what to do. Thankfully, both were on the other side of the desk.

I marked out the word and signed, hoping it would work. My parental instincts could hear my child crying in the distance. Pulling the contract apart, I handed them the copy underneath and shoved the real thing in my pocket. Adrenaline was rushing through my veins as I headed home as fast as possible.

So I walked into my home, shut the door behind me, when a booming roar echoed the island. I panicked and comforted my wailing son, whose brain had dramatically increased in size. I sighed. I got what I came for.

But there's not a day that doesn't pass that I'm not afraid one of 'em's gonna show up at my doorstep and take me or my son away. That's why I built the house around me; so my family can be protected.

That being said...you lay one finger on my son and you'll get pain, y'hear?

Good. Now scram!