bullets

screams

my ears ringed with the sound of the screams that followed that shot. i could immediately tell who it was. my best friend hallie. her scream so distinct that it remained in my mind. ringing. in a continuous, endless loop. haunting me, until the next. bailey. then taylor. then courtney. then ava. then jayden. everyone.
after the shots and screams i was finally able to move my feet. i got up from my chair and pounded on the door. eventually i grabbed the chair and broke the handle, giving myself the ability to get out. the hallways were cold. like ice. and silent. i walked down the hallways to find hallie's body. still breathing. but dying. "hallie!! you're okay, everything's gonna be okay. okay?" i said to her, holding her in my arms, pressing my hand against her wound to stop the bleeding. "when i die.... take care of carson for me." i sobbed as she went cold and lifeless. her hand went limp. i sat there with my best friend in my arms. my lifeless friend. i held her for a few moments more... and then walked away as i could not bear it anymore.
i continued walking down the hallways. only to find courtney. holding the hand of sterling. she saw me and said, "i had to jump in front for him. i had to. im sorry lauren. im so sorry." her hand went limp in sterling's. he looked at me with tears in his eyes. i looked at her. such a noble, selfless thing to do. i was proud, but i'd never been more heartbroken in my life. she was my best friend. my sister. someone i talked to on a daily. and she jumped in front of a bullet for the man she loved. sterling came over to me, shuttering and cold. and cried as he walked pass me to the lockers. i slammed my fist against the one closest to me.
i ran to the other part of the halls to find so many more people. those i didn't know, and those i did.
i saw carson on the floor. i fell to my knees beside him and remembered hallie's last words. "when i die.... take care of carson for me." i put my hand under his head, and cradled him. i cried uncontrollably. sobbing as i held him in my arms.
i was supposed to protect him... and i had failed without knowledge.