bullets

him

i sat on the floors of my once lively school. students upon students, lifeless. i couldn't help but think that it was my fault. maybe i could've made more of an effort to move out of that stupid chair. maybe i could have stopped the bullets from reaching a single soul. i coulnd't bear it anymore. i ran to the portables outside. at least i wouldn't find anyone there. except for him. i saw the boy i had loved all year, standing, shaking. what was i supposed to do? before i could run to him, he shoved me out of the way, and i heard another all too familiar gunshot. i looked into his eyes and saw fear and tears. he smiled at me weakly, and collapsed. i fell to my knees, kneeling over him. "why? why would you do that!?" maybe i was mad, or heartbroken, or both. but he grabbed my hand and i let him. he smiled at me one last time and said, "i knew, i always knew." then, the love of my life, layed there, shattered, broken, gone... maybe it was the shock, or maybe i'd just woken up, but i passed out, next to him. i will never forgive myself for letting him jump in front of me. never in my life, whether it had been a dream, or reality.