Silent Treatment

Fifteen

Louis POV

All I could do was stare at him and at the photos. This was everything I had ever wanted in life. It definitely wasn't the situation I wanted it to be, but still. The more he spoke, the less I could think. I almost didn't want to listen to what he has to say. I felt overwhelmed, this was all too much.

"What do I say? Do you really want to know what I have to say about this?"

He nodded his head, looking a little less confident now.

 "The fact that it took my cousin coming in to town for you to even do this bothers me. I don't understand any of this. You spent years treating me like shit and ignoring me and basically pretending that I didn't exist. And here you are saying all these things to me. You might have move passed what happened, but I haven't. How am I supposed to move past it all when you don't have a real explanation for anything? Am I just supposed to pretend it's okay and forgive you?"

"Louis...," Liam whispered. My heart raced as I stood in front of all three of them, glad to have finally gotten that off my chest, and upset that Liam wasn't on my side.

     "How do you not get it, Liam? I've explained it all to you before, yet it seems not to be clear still. I don't care anymore that Harry ended our friendship, I care that he didn't tell me anything, that he left like everyone else in my life has! That's what hurts. And now here you are trying to get me to forgive him when he hasn't even spoken to me in years. None of you know what I went through. I lost my parent, my cousin, and my best friend all in a summer."

"You didn't lose me, Louis. I've always been here," Liam stated.

"I may have had you in my life, but you certainly weren't there when I needed you." He didn't have a response and I knew he wouldn't, because it was true. "Look, this gesture was really sweet and I know I'm coming off as a dick, but I'm not ready to move forward yet."

"Louis, I'm not asking to go back to how we were before. I know we won't be there who knows if we will ever get there. I'm just asking for a chance to be your friend again, to make up for the time we lost."

Did I want that? Did I want to be his friend again? No, was the first thought that came into my head, but I looked back at the photos surrounding us and began to remember our friendship. I did miss what we had, he was my best friend for years. 

If I say no, nothing in my life would change. I would go back to my daily life and I wouldn't have to worry about Harry or this happening again. He probably would be too embarrassed to try to talk to me again in fear of what would happen since he went all out. 

However, if I said yes, what would happen? We become friends again and I get to see what my life would have been almost like if he didn't leave. Then in a few months, we part ways and my life goes back to how it is. Or in a few months, we become even closer than predicted. 

"I'll give you a week trial. Now, I'm going before I change my mind."I turned back and started walking the way we came, passing Liam's parked car on my way out.

What did I just do? Why did I agree to this? I'm already regretting the decision but I can't go back now. I don't know why I said yes. Maybe because I thought it would bring me closer to a reality that I wanted. My cousin and old best friend back in my life. The only thing missing would be my mother. 

My mom...

My chest constricted as I thought about her. I haven't done that in a while, which made me feel guilty. It felt as if I was forgetting her, something I would never do. I solemnly walked the rest of the way home, stopping when I reached the house. I stared at the house and the lights that shined through the windows, indicating that someone was home. 

I slowly made my way up, hearing the voices of my family when I opened the door. My sisters' laughs filled my ears, and it made me realize that I haven't really seen them in a while. Maybe we should do something. 

"Hey girls?" I called out as I walked towards the living room. "Do you want to do something this weekend?"

"We can't, we have a dance recital this weekend. Would you want to come watch it? I know it's not really your thing," Lottie said, looking slightly uncertain about the offer.

"I would love to." The smile that covered her face made it that much easier to go. "How about we go get ice cream or something after the show, spend some time together."

The three of them nodded before pulling me onto the couches to watch a movie with them. I couldn't say no, even if I had seen Moana four times already. That didn't stop me from humming along to all the songs I know and keeping track of how happy they seemed in this moment and how I wanted to keep it that way for as long as I could.