Serendipity

Tabula Rasa

A/N 1: *rises from the dead and shows face awkwardly, super embarrassed* Umm, hello, I am alive, teehee.

A/N 2: There literally wasn't any point in writing this but I did, nonetheless. Weirdly, I had a dream where Meryl says this one phrase to Don and I couldn't get it out of my mind.

A/N 3: All italicized parts are from Don's POV.

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Tabula Rasa

(Tabula rasa is a Latin phrase often translated as "blank slate" in English and originates from the Roman tabula used for notes, which was blanked by heating the wax and then smoothing it.)  

"I love you with every piece of me. I will love and love until I have nothing left, and then I will make more out of the nothing that lives where everything once did. I would dismantle me to put you back together again."

-Tyler Knott Gregson

*****

There are days like this. They come and go, the darkness swoops in, chasing her - shrouding and choking her in it and you try, flailing at the edges to save her against all odds – holding onto her with that thin sliver of sanity in you.

It's very subtle – the way in which the darkness creeps in, painfully slowly, disguising itself from you, engaging in a macabre dance with her, taking the life out of her.

You have learned to recognize it now.

Your wife is the bubbliest, most chirpy creature you know. She fills your days with food and music and love and what not - bakes little pies with crusted hearts in them for you, sings and sings and sings, fills your nights with so much love that it scares you at times, she loves you as if there is no tomorrow, day after day after day.

And then—then there are days like today.

*****

"Hey baby" Don says frowning as he tries to wake Meryl up, it's past 12:30 in the afternoon and Don's got a fresh pot of coffee brewing in the kitchen, just for her "wake up sleepyhead."

Meryl stirs, languidly "Draw the curtains" she whispers as she gets up and makes her way to the bathroom.

Don looks back at her retreating form but doesn't push for a good morning kiss.

The fresh brewing coffee stays untouched.

He shakes it off as her morning blues as he is in a hurry to meet his client at his Long Island studio.

*****

She calls you a seventeen million times during your day. You have your phone hooked up to the speakers so whenever she calls her voice fills the room, you almost think she is with you. Sometimes she doesn't really want you to say anything apart from 'Hey' as she starts babbling about some little thing over which she can't contain her excitement. Sometimes she narrates the entire grocery list to you and sometimes she reminds you to come home early because she has plans for the both of you. Mostly you know she just likes to hear your voice.

*****

Don keeps looking down at his phone while he tries to concentrate on whatever his next commissioner is saying. It's past 7 p.m. and Meryl hasn't even called or texted him once.

"Hey Joe, mind if we sit on this more tomorrow?" he asks as he starts gathering up his things, more than ready to leave.

"Oh yeah man, sure" Joe says shaking his hand as they walk out.