Letters to Louis | l.t

4.7.15

7:36 a.m

Dear Louis,

I have been up all night watching all the movies that we loved. My eyes are puffed up from crying so much and I have a killer headache, it's okay though I deserve it.

Louis do you remember the time when we camped out on the couch and we had a movie marathon? I remember we were watching Titantic and it was at the sad part when Jack died, and I started bawling. Like full on crying and you didn't really know what to do, but then you slowly pulled me close and wrapped your arms around my body as I cried into your chest. You whispered reassuring things like ''It's going to be okay.'' and ''It's only a movie." in my ear.

But that made me cry harder because I was so frusterated that Rose had love and I didn't. Nobody loved me like Jack loved Rose and I was so jealous.  I wanted that kind of love. I sobbed into your chest and you stroked my hair. 

You asked me why I was crying and I replied that I wanted to be loved.

You smiled what seemed like a sad smile and said, 

"Your someday gonna find a man that will love you with everything he has because you are you. 

And he might be closer than you think."

Damnit Lou, I seem to fuck everything up don't I?

love, 

your ella

Ps. I already know I fuck everything up so it's okay