Silenced

Silenced Chapter 1

To say that I didn't wake up screaming that night would be a lie. It had been a long time ago since I had dreamt about her. I thought that I had out grown it but clearly I was mistaken.

Panting with eyes wide open I searched my room for her i panic. The darkness closing in around me, making me feel clostrofobic, trapped in my own body. My breath was coming up fast and short. My panic was getting worse and I kicked of my sheets trying to take control of the situation. Calm yourself, take deep breaths. You are okay. You are safe. You are home in your apartment. Breathe in. Breath out.

My breath started to slow down and the darkness around me stopped being so intimidating and I recognize my room as something I was familiar with. I sat straight up and told myself to stop being afraid of the past,my past. I stroked away beads of sweat on my forehead and taking one more steadying breath before I slid out of my bead. My bedroom floor was cold and I tip toed out of my room and as I made my way to the kitchen i turned on every light I could see. Not because I was scared I told myself. I just needed the light. 

I really don't know why hot chocolate was a thing that helped me after I had i nightmare but somehow it chased away the coldness. I sat down at the kitchen table and let my head rest on it while my finger trailed the patterns of the hot cup beside my head. 

- Come on girl are you sleeping out here again, really? 

I jumped when I heard my dads voice above me looking down at me with a smirk on his face.

-What in gods name are you doing. You know that you have a bed, just a few meters away. He said pointing at the bedroom door. 

- No need to drool on this fine piece of wood. I spent a lot of money on that you know.

- I had a nightmare...

With one sentence I changed his whole posture. His face turned cold and his eyes vacant. After a second he looked down at my half empty, or half full cup of now cold chocolate. He did not need to say anything he just understood. He knelt down and looked up at me where I was sitting and raised his hand to stroke my face. A tear fell down his cheek and he continued to stroke my cheek while he rested his forehead against mine.

- I am so sorry honey. I thought that the nightmares had ended a long time ago and I am so sorry that I can't take away the pain that she left you with. Just tell me what I can do to help you or do you need to go for a ride?

When the word ride left his mouth i immediately wiped away his tears and smiled. He started laughing and stood up helping me to my feet as he did. She is parked out front, here take my keys. He tossed me his keys and I caught them mid air winking as i started walking towards the door, but turned around to say goodbye when I saw him staring at my mug with a troubled face. 

-Thank you, you know how much I hate talking about her and I know that you hate it too. I just want to say that I really appreciate it, and no I won't make a scratch on her. 

He laughed at that while shooing me away from the kitchen trowing me a goodbye kiss. 

I took the stairs down and jogged, almost running and falling in my heist to get down to the main floor. And suddenly there she was in all her black glory. My Ducati gt1000. My sweet motorcycle that me and my dad shared custody for. which I kinda ignore because I paid for her on my 19 birthday. But he is still insisting that she loves him more because he is the one that put all her different parts together. Parts that i bought which he seems to forget.

I threw my leg over the saddle and quickly found my balance. Caressing the handlebars as i checked that the fule bar was full. Pulling my leather jacket closer around me so i could close it and put on my black helmet. I turned the " Kill switch" on and flipped back the kickstand holding my baby up. I pressed the engine button to life, pressed down the shifter and released the clutch and she flew. The sound of the engine vibrating beneth me filled me with such joy that i smiled from ear to ear. Thinking that someone would see me and classify me as a moron. I didn't even have time to think that before I noticed that no one was out yet and that the sun was just starting to rise, leaving a red glow over the world. I felt free. I raced away from home and on to the highway racing against the sun, speeding up and feeling the wind trying to trow me off and failing miserably.