Police Boxes and Courtrooms-A Matt Smith fanfic

I can't say Goodbye (Matt's POV)

As I laid there with my love in my arms, I couldn't sleep. Especially since she was leaving me soon. three hours, it was 4:30 now, and I felt that Phil Collins song coming into my head.

So you're leaving, in the morning, on the early train.

Well I could say everything's alright,

And I could pretend and say goodbye.

Only it's not pretend, I'm permenantly saying goodbye to my girlfriend, the woman who made me feel something special after being scorned by Daisy on and off over and over again. I didn't want this to end. Not the friendly talks about Night Court, not her daily comparisons to me and Harry, none of it. But I knew it was.

"Good morning, stranger." She said as she woke up later in the hour. "Why are you so silent?"

"Why do you have to leave?" I started to complain.

"I could say the same thing, hon. Afterall, you left Doctor Who." She shot off playfully. Fuming with stupid rage, I said the stupidest things.

"Yeah, and don't I feel enough guilt from some of the fans and Jenna and me mum? And that's another thing. Why did I have to be compared to Harry? Hm? What made me so comparable to him in the first place?! Why'd you have to buy ME lunch that day?" I tried to stop myself from saying anything more stupid, but being so heartbroken about the whole 'having to take her to the airport' thing, I said the worst thing possible. "I wish sometimes that I never met you."

And with that, she said she was going to get dressed in the bathroom and she started crying. With that, I hit myself in the ribs.

We never said a word on the way to the plane. Her eyes were still red from earlier and I was still bruising from punching myself.

When we arrived at the airport, she hugged me despite all the things I said and she said I was just venting and I didn't really mean those words. Then she said she hoped to see me again, even though I couldn't really. I'd just gotten a script for a musical version of American Psycho and they wanted me for Patrick Bateman. I waved goodbye to her and I could tell her eyes were beginning to tear up, if not hers, then mine. I just said goodbye to the most important girl in my life, and I felt like shit because I hurt her feelings beforehand.

When I got home, I found an episode of Night Court that reminded me of my situation, so I decided to watch. It was called "Alone Again, Naturally" and in the episode, Margaret had something to tell Harry, and he thought she was going to propose to him, but it turned out she was leaving to go into Witness Protection because she was discovered by a person she was covering the story on. As soon as Harry said his last goodbye to Margaret, I was broken. I stayed that way for two months.