mistake.. || l.h

Mistake..

Lillian Rain Bradley is the name of a broken deranged soul. Sometimes it hurts me, but sometimes it hurts others worse. I consider myself as a dangerous mistake, but my mom likes to say she has faith in my future.

When I was 9 I was tested with Schizophrenia. Through the test, it also showed signs of other mental illnesses. My brain is a mixed up mess and for some odd reason they still try to fix it. What happens up there is out of my control, it has a mind of its own but tries it's best to take me with it.

I always thought there was some sort of demon inside me. Really it's just a thought of my craziness, but it still seems accurate at this point.

Being deranged sucks worse than it sounds, and it sounds bad enough. It's not easy having to take so many meds a day for so many different things. You have to attend these stupid therapy sessions and even interact with other people to help your brain to function with "real human beings".

I'm a peranoid schizophrenic so I know that all the things I see and people I talk to aren't exactly real. But does it matter that their imaginary? What matters is that they are real, real to me. They're my escape, my hope, my way of living.

Honestly, with all the times I've hurt someone with my actions, or have been sent to criminally insane institutions and arrested, you'd think they'd done had me dead. Nope, they let me sit here and suffer.

Craziness is alot like pain, you can't silence it without making it louder.

For all the fetus out there, you better hope and pray you don't become another mistake..

~Alice