Broken heart, Broken trust

9: Nothing without you

I slept  the whole day I didn't feel like going out but I'm planning to go to the Eiffel Tower at night it'a pretty empty I just want to clear my head I'll just take my phone and headphones and a blanket it's 11:42pm at night I take my stuff and head out the door the Eiffel Tower is 4 minutes away from my hotel so I decided to just walk I opened google maps and it lead me the way, the weather was just perfect a soft breeze not that cold but not that hot just perfect. When I arrive it was so beautiful I decided to go up instead of sit underneath it, the place is empty and the sounds of the wind are beautiful i lay my blanket and sit on it I open my playlist and just look at the Eiffel Tower and listen to my lyrics carefully. Seth crossing my mind the whole time, but it's so calm that I don't mind it I feel so peaceful I never want to leave this place i sat there for a couple minutes as I feel someone sit beside me .

I don't move one muscle, I know exactly who it is. The music is blasting in my ears the wind was blowing our hair out of our faces, I've never been calmer.

He took my phone and I looked at him weirdly he typed in something, and played it. I just smiled.

Nothing without you - The Weeknd

I realized, I belong to you

I feel the darkness, went away from you

Hey, don't stop your lovin', walk out on me

Don't stop for nothin', you're what I bleed

I learned to love you, the way you need

'Cause I know what's pain, this is not the same

I'd be nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing without you

Cause I can't function, no I won't last

I swear I'll love you just like the past

'Cause I know what's pain, this is not the same

I'd be nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing without you

I just shed a tear It dried quickly from the wind I was shivering, I don't know if it was weather or from the song he, sat closer to me I put the right earphone in his ear and he put his jacket on my back as I laid my head on his shoulder, he put his hand on my shoulder. I couldn't contain my self I miss him so damn much. I need him.

It was tragically beautiful, how we sat together the music that was playing the breeze and the beautiful view of the tower. I realized what I lost when I was with him I shed a tear he quickly noticed it and wiped it with his thumb.

It was around 1:00am we just stayed in the same position he never let me go, I whispered in his ear.

Nikki: I have to go

I removed his jacket wanting to give it to him he stood up and told me to keep it, I nodded and I looked away and left before I could even take my first step he held my hand and walked me over to the front of the tower and he kissed me, I was shocked at first but I kissed him back I missed him I can't I needed to so i did, i cried, i cried like a baby he held me in his arms, my safe place. After a couple minutes I had to leave I had to be strong, I let go and walked away wiping my tears.

I went back too my hotel room and wore his jacket and slept with it. I woke up to find a text from Seth I opened it up so fast.

Seth: I know you probably don't want to talk to me but at least let's be friends I miss you Nikki i really do, these past 6 months have been the worst months of my life please.

I sat there just looking at my phone thinking should I.

Nikki: okay, nothing more than friends though

Seth: Promise

I smiled looking at my phone, I hope this doesn't turn into something else I really can't deal with it anymore.

Seth: are you free today?

Nikki: yeah, sure

Seth: I have this amazing place we can go to and you get your own room, and you can view all of paris, we can get a speaker and just listen to music like we always used to do.

Nikki: id love that

Seth: great I'll pick you up at 7

I don't know if i honestly should do this I'm contemplating about it, but I mean we're just going to be friends nothing more, and if anything happens I won't allow it.

At 6:00pm I get ready, when I'm out of the shower I put on a little mascara and blusher. I put on my lip gloss and I dry my hair I then fluff it a bit. I wear black jeans with a black tank top and Seth's jacket with some Nike Air Force shoes. I take my key card and my phone and head down to the lobby.

I feel someone put their hands, on my eyes I just laugh, I knew it's Seth as soon as he laid he's hands on my face, I hold his hand and turn around. I see him smile and it's the cutest thing ever I can't help but smile. He put his hand over my shoulder as we walk out to his car he opens the door for me and I get in. I just look out the window smiling a little.

Seth: something wrong?

Nikki: No um, it's just I'm confused you know a lot of emotions going through my mind.

Seth: don't worry I'm going through the same (he says as he smiles)

It's a 10 minute drive, we just talked and laughed like nothing has happened, Like all these 6 months we've been together which is weird , Me and him arrive and we go to our room we go up the elevator, and go inside this cubicle by our selves, it was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my whole entire life I just stood there shocked.

Seth: you like it?

Nikki: it's beautiful.

Seth smiled and tapped the floor signing me to sit beside him on the floor I sat down as he opened up the speaker, I connected my phone to it and played my playlist I laid on his legs as I looked through the huge glass window of the beautiful Paris as he played with my hair the first song that played was I wanna go down with you by Russ

You are all that I need
And you are all I believe
Is everything fine?
'Cause you ain't gotta leave
I wanna go down, down, down, down, down with you

song in the key of hope, sing it for me
Cup full of love, drink it for me
I rather deal with oh well than what if
You got me addicted off of one hit

Nikki: i missed you, so damn much

Seth: you never left my mind Nikki every single second, every minute, every hour your all I think about.

We stayed there until 12:00 am Seth dropped me off in my hotel room, this is the best sleep, I've slept since me and Seth stopped talking.

What a weird beautiful scary relationship we have?

*Guys at the end of the book I'm going to revile to you guys Nikki's playlist so you can listen to it too, it will be amazing!*