Forbidden Love

Forbidden Love - 1

The first time I saw her, she greeted me with the traditional 'Namaste' and a smile that I will never be able to forget even if I wanted to. She had a trekking bag on her shoulders and both of her hands were holding a suitcase. Well, that was the first time I answered to doorbell on my own and I must say that was one lucky first time. I suddenly felt a rush of feelings in my body because she was a beauty. I stood still for a while figuring out how to respond as she was a complete stranger to me. Even if this sounds corny, I kind of felt that she was here only for a reason and that reason was me. I broke from that sweet trance of the curious questions when my mother spoke to her. "I hope you didn't have any trouble finding our home. Come on in.", she said. I found it rather shocking to see my mother seemed to know her so well but not me. "Aman! Quit staring like a fool and help your sister with her suitcase.", she spoke again. That was when I felt my heart beating so fast and I was more startled than before to know that she was my sister. How? When? How again? I was drowning in the ocean of all these questions struggling to swim out of it. Meanwhile, I picked up her suitcase and took it to living room.

I asked stammering, "S-s-Sister?".
"Oh yes! Sorry I forgot to tell you about her. She said she'd be coming here to us while you were in your Thailand tour. She's your cousin Barsha. You do remember aunt Prema, right? She's her daughter. You guys met when you both were so young. Now look, you both are grownups. She'll be staying here with us for like two years, until she gets admission in a good university abroad. She will be doing first two years of bachelor at your college. She has already gotten admission there.", mom said this to me excitedly while I was still in shock unable to get my eyes off her.
"Oh!", I said. This was the only thing I could use as response to all that while the only question now left on my mind was, 'why?'. I was feeling awful. How could I even have these feelings for my cousin? I felt pathetic. I just went back into my room before I managed to creep her out with my continuous stare.

She's my second cousin as aunt Prema is my mom's cousin. That makes us brothers and sisters. I don't even remember meeting her when we were "so young" as mother said. But damn, she's one piece of a beauty and nothing in life has ever been so sad except for this fact. I felt that I was a gross person who had feelings for his sister. The worst part was, I already had a girlfriend so it was unethical to have feelings for Barsha in so many ways I knew I had to control the feelings. So, I did the only thing I was supposed to do. I tried to suppress the feelings that I had for her hoping it eventually will be gone. What was that? Just an attraction. It would be over in couple of days or weeks and I'd be normal again. Plus, I had my girlfriend, Raksha to think about. I knew I was in love with her so I could not distract myself from her for some beautiful cousin. But as easy as it sounded to get over that feeling, it was thousands of times as difficult to do it in real. I knew I was doomed. I knew I was fucked up, that too, too bad.