Rigatoni/Ramen

Eli/Amelia

Eli

Is it wrong of what I write? Is it wrong of who I am?

There is no God. There are no gods. There is science, but that can even only go so far.

There is no multiverse. And there is no free will.

Just science, and dreams. Dreams of other worlds, and of superheroes, and untold tales.

But were all just dreams in the end.

______

Am I a boy, or am I a girl?

W-What? She responded in confusion.

You said you wanted to read my stories, so answer the question. Am I a boy, or am I a girl?

U-hh, b-boy? Is there an option for neither?

That surprised me. Dammit shes catching onto the game, or doesnt even realize shes foiling plans- either way. My mind whirled.

Have you ever played truth or dare?

W-Wha- yeah, of course.

Have you ever heard someone choose or?

Realization dawned on her, Oh.

I tossed the filthy old journal towards her, You had the closest answer so make sure I have it back by fourth period.

Yeah, sure.

____

What is it with all the dreaming and comas? Why not just write fantasy?

I thought over her question, resting my head in my hand as we ate lunch. Or more accurately, I watched her eat.

I want it to be real. Fantasy Well, is fantasy. But if its dreaming then its at least a little accurate. Its easier to write that way, its how I think.

Do you ever think That the reason you like writing from a dream perspective is because this is a dream?

I perked up, watching her bite into an apple. You mean what Im really writing is the real world and this is a Dream World or something? Like Im subconsciously trying to get back to reality? I just found a new writing idea.

Um, well I never went that far into detail. But sure.

You know. Not many people read my stories, I looked down in shame, Theyre like my escape from whatever this world is. I.. Just hate my life- and I know Im not the only one- and it makes me feel selfish.

She looked over at me with concern, Your not selfish Eli, your just Going through shit, and want out of it like everyone else.

I know, and all I can do is fucking write, its all Im good at.

Thats okay, all it means is that you have to write yourself out of this world and into the next. One you can actually believe in.

I looked up at her, my head still in my hands. Sighing I said, You still gonna eat that?

A/N

I really based Eli off of my self when I though I was more gender fluid- and maybe I still am- But IDK. Theres no point in this A/N.