Temporary Alliance

Chapter 21 : Delicate

I didn't dare turn back around to face him. As silence fell upon us both when I stopped talking, I remained as still as possible. Alexander remained silent as well, waiting for me to continue even when I was already done.

"And then?" He spoke up when he realized I wasn't going to continue.

I contemplated what to say, carefully choosing my next words. "Everything after that was a little hazy."

"Cadence's family?"

"I called them as soon as I could, and her mother, Debby, wanted some time to process everything. Apparently, I reminded her too much of Cadence. She said she would contact me when she felt up for a chat. For Cadence's nephew Nolan, I didn't even get to speak to him before Debby quickly hung up."

Alexander didn't press me further for information, but his silence was starting to make me nervous.

"What could I have done differently, Red? What could I have done to save her?" I stared blankly into the darkness in front of me.

Alexander took slipped his hand out of mine and my heart began to pound faster. I should have never told him. When I felt him move away and a soft glow of light flooded the room from behind me, I stiffened. Suddenly, I felt him gently cup my shoulder.

"Turn around for me," he whispered softly before planting a kiss at the crook of my neck.

I squeezed my eyes shut tight and shrugged his hand off. "No."

"I want to see you, Angel."

Not bothering to answer him, I pushed myself up to a sitting position, facing away from him. "I think..." I trailed off since I didn't know what to say.

Unable to help myself, I turned my face and took a quick glance at him. There wasn't much expression on his face and I flinched away when he reached for me. Quickly getting my legs over the edge of the bed, I was about to get up when Alexander's arms went around my waist, halting my actions.

"Now I understand what that man meant." Alexander's chin landed on my left shoulder as he spoke quietly.

"Who?"

"The man you met for lunch a few days ago."

Wolf?

"How long are you going to carry that guilt? Blaming yourself?"

I immediately stiffened.

"Angel..."

In the blink of an eye, I slammed Alexander onto the bed by his shoulders and leaned over him. My sorrow morphed into anger. Alexander's facial expression didn't change as I stared at him in fury.

"If it wasn't for me, she would still be alive today. Her mother would still have a daughter and her nephew would still have his aunt, alive. If- "

"If it weren't for you," Alexander was calm and completely unruffled by my sudden outburst, "your entire team, Wolf's team, and the innocent villagers within the range of the explosives would be dead. If you didn't fire, someone else would have."

"I should have found a different plan.

"What different plan?"

My eyes widened slightly by his question. "I-I I don't know. I ran over different scenarios of the entire mission in my head, but I don't know. Tell me, Red, what could I have done differently so that she could have flown back home with me. That she could have walked off the plane with me, returning on to home soil. What could I have done differently so that she could still be alive?"

I didn't know I was crying until my tears dropped onto Alexander's cheeks, making it look like he was the one crying. Alexander reached up and brushed my tears away tenderly.