Aftermath // 5SOS Fanfic // Ashton Irwin

Say It

Ashton's POV: I wake to the smell of coffee and the sound of hushed voices. Both Claire and Marie instantly turn to face me when I walk in the kitchen. Claire's eyes are red and puffy from crying. I walk to her and put my arms around her.

"I'm so sorry," she says over and over. "I'm- I'm sorry! You get me better than anyone! I'm sorry!"

"Shh, love. It's okay. I love you. It's okay." It's kind of not okay, but I need her so I need it to be okay.

"So we're okay?" she sniffs, tears lining her eyes.

"Yeah," I answer, working hard to get a smile on my face for her.

She heaves a sigh of relief and buries her face in my chest. This is right. This is what it's supposed to be. All I keep thinking about is if we can get in that big of a fight about her past, what would happen if she found out about mine?

"I love you," Claire whispers into my shirt.

"And I love you," I whisper back, pushing her chin up. "You can stop crying now," I laugh.

She giggles as I wipe tears from her cheeks and take her face in my hands. I kiss her and hope some of the tension diffuses, but it doesn't.

"Alright, kids. I've put up with a lot of third wheeling, but I'm drawing the line," Marie calls from across the kitchen.

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Claire's POV: When we walk back to the guys' house, Luke is packing.

"Luke, can I talk to you for a second?" I ask, stepping in the doorway of the studio. Ashton shoots me a grateful look. One of those looks that just remind you how much someone loves you. A look that feels exclusive; it's just for me. He's just for me.

"What's up?" Luke says, not meeting my eye as I close the door.

"Are you going home?" I ask, looking at his bag.

"Well... um... I can't. I lost my job and can't pay rent, and Jasmine won't take me in anymore." Jasmine's home was always open to us, especially Luke.

"Why not?"

"Her son died so having me around is too painful I guess," he answers softly, turning a shirt over and over in his hands. Jasmine's son was his best friend. Almost his brother.

"Luke, I... I had no idea. I'm so sorry."

"Yeah."

"So where are you going?" I ask carefully.

"I don't know," he sighs, "but wherever I am I'm thinking about you, and I can't be near you. I just want you to be with me again."

"Remember when we were together?"

"Of course," he replies.

"Luke, I still haven't recovered from all the stress. Singing with you was fun, and I know you love it, and I know you are going to continue pursuing it, but all of that stress gave me anxiety attacks. Remember?"

"Well, we can still be together."

"No. We can't. I think- I think I always wanted to make it okay for you and now I have someone who wants to make it okay for me. If you love me, be happy for me."

He nods. "I'm just gonna get some air." He walks out quickly. Years ago, I would've chased after him. Not this time.

As I sink down onto the couch, Calum walks in. "You okay?"

"Yeah," I reply, "I just had a hard conversation."

"Oh did Ashton tell you?"

"What?" I say.

"I bet that was a hard conversation."

"I was talking to Luke. Not Ashton," I clarify.

"So Ashton hasn't told you about the murder?"

"The what?"

"I should really just go," Calum says uncomfortably.

I remember how mad I got when Marie told Ashton about my secrets. But this is murder. It's different. "No! Just tell me," I beg.

He sits beside me and avoids my eyes.
"He... uh... Someone was blackmailing him."

"With what?"

"Um... That's not for me to say. But, Claire... How do I say this? Ashton shot him."

My jaw drops. I can't form words. I move my mouth and nothing happens.

"Claire? What's wrong?" Ashton says, walking in.

I look at his form blurry with tears for the second time today. I can only say one thing: "Say it's not true."