Failing Upward

Chapter 19 (part 2): Before I Sleep

No alarm.

I was never so happy to see sunlight in my life. I jogged across the dock and down the ramp like a colt after a spring rain. I spotted the blue Ford as I reached the end of the ramp. Peter sat inside with Sherlock.

"What happened? What took you so long?" Sherlock asked, as Peter turned over the ignition and slipped the truck into reverse.

"I was detained," I said, pulling the water bottle out of my pocket and setting it between my legs.

"What? You were thirsty?" Deal stepped on the clutch and put it in drive.

"Not exactly," I said, clutching the bottle. "This is the serum."

He stepped on the gas.

"The serum," Sherlock said, raising his eyebrow. "You have the serum."

"It's not like you to repeat yourself. Why? Of course! That's what Mycroft had you go off and look for."

"You are amazing, John Watson," Deal said, as the truck lurched into second gear. "You stumbled into a lab and found it!"

We pulled up to the guard station, slowed and were waved through.

"You could say it fell into my possession."

Sherlock cracked a wicked grin.

They both looked at me with a bit more admiration than I thought I deserved, but I didn't tell them any different. I decided to let them think that retrieving the serum was a Herculean effort. The real point was why I did it.

I swallowed and squinted my eyes against sunlight that I wasn't looking anywhere near. Sherlock took one look at my face and read me.

"I fucking thought so," Peter said. "You're making a mistake."

Leave it to a psychiatrist to read me as well.

"It's for me to decide," I said. Which was completely true since I was tricked into this whole mess.

"Christ, think about it," Deal said. "Both of you. John, you know he can't say no to taking that serum. He's bound to you. And even if he wasn't, Sherlock would still do it to be with you. It's a mistake. If I had it to do over again, I wouldn't."

"You're not speaking to John about this. I've already made up my mind."

"For a fucking genius, you're one impulsive son-of-a-bitch. You don't think. You react. And John, you have to know that this isn't a good idea."

For a psychiatrist, he sure was projecting. I rested my head back in the seat.

"Why not?" I asked.

"I think there's a bigger elephant in the room than that," Deal said.

"We're in a truck, an ancient truck held together with tape and chicken wire," Sherlock said. His brow furrowed, lips pouted, then he scrutinized me like an arrest log on his crime beat.

I'd forgotten about Eurus until that moment.

"Now isn't the time," I said through my teeth. "And maybe you don't want Sherlock to take the serum because you still want him yourself."

I didn't really believe that, but I needed to put him off talking about Eurus. I did know he still cared for Sherlock. I took a chance that pointing a finger at him would get him to drop all of it. It worked. He was quiet. Unfortunately, Sherlock wasn't.

"He still cares, but that's not it." He glanced over at me for an instant, eyes like flames. "What are you keeping from me, John."

"Not now, Sherlock."