Failing Upward

Chapter 15 (part 1): Insect Bites

The mosquito bit my hand.

Sherlock lay next to me, snoring gently. I lay on my side, cheek resting on the stiff, white pillow case. I considered the mosquito for some time, left hand resting on the pillow next to my face. It took its time. Finally, swollen and gorged, it drunkenly buzzed away, leaving that familiar itch behind.

I sighed. All that little mosquito wanted was a meal. Only a little of me. Silly, really, to think that a few days ago I would have swatted it dead without a second thought. This morning, I scratched the bite with my stubby nails and watched it fly to the window and bang its bloated body into the glass, thinking maybe I should open the window.

I rolled over and pulled the sheet over my head and Sherlock's. I was being ridiculous.

Sherlock's arm folded around me, and he kissed my ear.

"Didn't sleep well, did you?" he yawned.

"No, not at all," I mumbled.

He hadn't either. When I crept back to bed, he was silent but not asleep. All through the rest of the night he moved through his Mind Palace searching solutions while I fell down a bottomless pit, clutching the sides for a handhold. How much should I tell him? If I plummeted deeper and deeper into this abyss, what was a few more feet?

His chin dug into my shoulder and sighed.

"I already know. I heard it all," he said, slipping his big hands down my thighs.

I'd swear that he's the one with the supernatural powers, not me.

So I didn't have tell him about what I overheard on my trip downstairs to the bathroom last night, or about the discussion I had with my aunt and uncle afterward. I'd been thinking all night that it came down to doing what Glenda and Greg thought was best, or what my heart thought was best. In the end, Sherlock made the choice for us by doing what he thought best.

"When you failed to return to bed, l got up and looked for you. Simple to find you, since Toby led me directly to the door where you were eavesdropping."

"You decided, why not listen too?"

His grin tickled my neck. "Of course. I knew you'd go back in the room to talk to them when you were done in the bathroom, so I waited."

As his hand slipped lower, I sighed. "Nothing will change my mind about how I feel about you. Not time, not age."

"I understand and willingly face the fact that you will outlive me by many lifetimes, but that doesn't mean we should throw away what time we have."

"My point exactly. Being near me will likely kill you. You don't deserve a death sentence for falling in love with me."

"John! Are you dense? No one is going to die . Not for a long while. You resent that many choices were made for you. Do not do the same to me."

God, he knew me, because in the end, if it came to me leaving with Moriarty, that's the way it would have to be. That was my choice to make. I'm sorry that Sherlock wouldn't see it that way.

"I know what you're thinking. Stop. We will solve this together. Do not make rash choices for my protection. Although your discussion with your aunt and uncle wasn't as bitter as Sean's, you did lose your temper when they revealed you had another sibling."

He had heard it all, then. I'm sure my uncle used Alexander's fate as a moral lesson before me to Sean. The sad story of our older brother Alexander. Given a choice between remaining human or becoming immortal, he chose mortal life. My birth parents counseled him against remaining human that if he had children, he'd pass the trait on to them. He became estranged from the family because of his choice. But it was his choice to be alone and died an old man alone with no family.