Casually Eating A Banana

I'm Shining the Flashlight to see How Shiny Your Head Could Get

I think that from now on, I'm just going to add Studio C sketches, enjoy!

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Here I am, walking down an alleyway, trying not to be seen, yet still looking for someplace to hideout until I figure things out.

I don't even know if it's a good idea to be walking down an alley in the middle of the night, but you know, ya gotta do wat ya gotta do to survive, or in my case, try not to die, or is that the same thing?

Just then, I see a flashlight, but who in their right minds would walk through an alley with a flashlight in hand? I swear, some people are just begging to die.

"Dude, why are you shining a flashlight? Do you know what could happen to us? We could get jumped, or possibly even raped! Luckily, I've brought my rape whistle, unlike you, stupid idiot." Some hushed voice speaks out. I'm guessing it's a boy, but we don't assume around here, who am I to do that?

"I'm shining the flashlight to see how shiny your head could get." Comes the sarcastic reply, "This is a blacklight, smart one, and why would you need a whistle? That would just attract more attention, in which we really don't need right now."

This person seems more sensible than the first, I wonder what they need the blacklight for. And just like that, the first person reads my mind.

"Oh, wait, what's the blacklight for again?"

"It's for shining into your eyes whenever you don't know how to listen to the directions Boss gives us."

"Oh my gosh, THAT'S SO SMART!!" The first one all but yells.

I then hear a dropping sound, and a cracking sound, all the while the light turns off, telling me that the second person probably dropped the light in frustration because of the first person's idiocy.

The sound of footsteps coming nearer is what brings me back to reality, barely allowing me time to step into the dark part of the alley so that no one could see me.

"Oh, HEY BOSS!!" The person screamed, yet again.

"Yeah, just shutup, will ya? I think I heard something."

And that was when I realized that this person just heard me step on a rock, and accidentally kick it, oops.

"Who the heck keeps whispering? I swear, I will personally come torment you in your sleep, and rip that stupid mouth of yours off, then feed it to Jack."

Whoever you are, I like you.

And that was when I realized that I was the one whispering to myself.

This guy thinks he has the audacity to simply just grab my shirt, and lift me up to eye level.

I mean, I get it, I'm short, but you seriously don't have to rub it in my face like that.

Ew, his breath stinks. It smells like alcohol and cigarettes. But what else would a weirdo's breath smell like? Ice cream sundaes?

Ooh, now I want ice cream sundaes. Yes! Score! There's an ice cream shop down the street! How lucky could my day get?

So I start to let myself out of this guy's grip, and start making my way to that fabulous looking ice cream shop.

"Hey, where are you going? I'm trying to have a conversation here!"

"Yeah? Well, I'm getting bored of this conversation, so I'm going to get me some ice cream. You want some? I could buy you some. You don't look like you have money on you, so I'm gonna get you some ice cream too." I said, walking towards the ice cream shop.

"What? No, I do not want your damned ice cream. I want to know who the heck you think you are, listening to my conversation, then walking out like you own the place." This guy said, sounding a tad bit annoyed.

"Well, it's not like you own the place, so somebody's gotta call the shots, and that person would definitely not be you, so I'm assuming it's me. But it could be anyone, I guess, I just don't like it when other people take charge when obviously I'm the one who actually doesn't give a flying fart when it comes to meeting random weirdos in an alleyway. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be on my merry way."