It's all your fault (Masky x reader)

Last chpt: come back pt 1?

A/n I messed up on the last chpt :)
Im not sure if there will be a part 2 anymore.
The last chapter I did which was I think was chpt 23 was supposed to be split into two POVs of Tim and (y/n) the chapter was supposed to end on tims POV and start on (y/n). Then this chapter was supposed to be part 1 of 2 of the last chapter where I explain how the reader dies in the car then the last one is all about Tim.
So I'm going to have to do something different. It's kinda of hard to explain but yeah.

I have a cold and a fever now :) things are just.. amazing..
It's 37 degrees rn and I'm dying :)
ALSO the tendinitis in my hands is coming back. Like I'm sitting here thinking why I'm having such a horrible life rn. I just wanted to play some video games, is that so hard to ask for? But noooo I'm sneezing the brains out of me and dying from the pain in my hands. Heh. Not to mention I only got 1 hour of sleep for like a week cuz I can't breath through my nose.

I also accidentally published this chapter a couple of days ago when I was editing it. Sorry about that..

Published: Tuesday July 3 3:21 AM 2018
Song: save me by xxxtentacion
(I don't like xxxtentacion sorry not sorry but I love that one song. I highly recommend even if you don't like him either to listen to it while reading this chpt. I like depressing songs don't judge meh.)
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|||=Tims POV=|||

'It's over,
I'm finished,
deaths already won,
Used only my thoughts,
had no need for guns.
The body still walks and the mouth still smiles,
But behind these dulled eyes lies a blank, lifeless isle.' -by: ??

'Who do I have?
Heaven and Hell, my friend, my friend.'

There comes a time when all things seem unreal. Even the kindest soul
looks drenched in darkness.
And you and me just don't exist.
Upon nightfall of each day, staring at the starless sky the fear of losing you.
Turns my life's rainbow grey.
It is my only wish to be with you.
Regardless of how far or near.
The distance may be
You are always close.
Close, just like the beats of my heart
Drawing closer, being my part.
One step at a time.
And I tip toed into your gentle arms.
Never before, this feeling came about.
What's this feeling?
Happiness?
Love?
A better half of me.

Happiness.
I was finally happy for once in my life.
Not depressed, sad or emotionless.
Now im just.. happy.
Happy that I know someone cares about me.
It was a.. weird feeling, a strange feeling at first.
I hated it at first, but I started to accept it and eventually I realized its not a bad feeling.
It was almost like I would never be sad again.
Like she was my cure for everything.
My happiness.
My sunshine.
I couldn't wait for her to come back.
I was confident that she will come back.
I know she will come back.

'I won't fit in here.'

Anxiety. Anxiously waiting.
I am tired of twiddling my thumbs and waiting,
like a dog anxiously anticipating the return of its owner.
I'm sitting and waiting for happiness to grab ahold of the door knob and enter the dark blue house of sadness i call my own.
To fill my life with joy and hope and yellow with every move.
To bring purpose to an otherwise dreadful and lifeless routine of fake smiles and forced laughter.
I want comfort to feel as if it has found a new home on my shoulder.
I wish for happiness to grab hold of my body and shake the sadness out, until those pieces of me are scattered lazily on the floor, without a single trace of it's residency in my body, mind and soul.
My hands started shaking after the number of days you were away increased.
My heart started racing as the thought of never seeing you again came into my head.
I need that reassurance that you will come back.
I need that hope.
But all my hope is slipping away.
But I'm still praying you'll come back.