I Don't Like The World, I Only Like You

Chapter 11: The Armor and the weakness

001

Mr. F has a friend who recently discovered that he was suffering from the latest stages of cancer. Although this friend had attended our wedding, I wasn't able to interact much with him as I was simply too busy that day. That said, I do remember him as a chubby fellow hailing from Langfang, and when he smiled, his eyes would crinkle up and form a line. When he was toasting us, his wife even joked that he had such tiny eyes that we wouldn't be able to locate his eyes if he weren't wearing glasses.

During the weekend, I accompanied Mr. F on a visit to the hospital. Both of us knew in our hearts that this could very well be the last time we saw him. Before we left the house, Mr. F reminded me to remain composed. Although I understood what Mr. F meant, I couldn't help but feel terrible when I saw the 90kg chubby man of the past reduced to becoming a bag of bones lying on the bed, trying his best to smile and welcome us despite having difficulty breathing. Conversely, Mr. F chatted with him as per normal.

As we didn't want to disturb the patient's rest, we didn't stay long and chose to leave soon after. After existing the ward, I accompanied Mr. F to the stairway where he could smoke. There, the two of us sat side by side on the staircase, both of us choosing not to speak a single word.

There are occasions when I would think about death. When I was a teenager, I wasn't afraid of death in the slightest, simply accepting that it was something everybody had to experience one day. However, nowadays, I'm truly afraid of such a day arriving. It's not because I'm afraid of pain and suffering; rather, I fear that I would no longer be able to enjoy the things I presently cherish. I fear that I would no longer be able to hug the people I love. I fear that I would no longer be able to accompany my children when they're growing up. More importantly, Mr. F and I have already become such a integral part of each other – we're connected to each other by all our little, mundane experiences – and I'm afraid, because the one who suffers most isn't the one who leaves, but the one who is left behind. I can't bear for him to be unhappy, not even the slightest bit. Every time I think about these, I'm extremely, extremely afraid.

He says that I'm being too sentimental, but he doesn't know; he doesn't realize that in actuality, the person who made me this way is him, and him alone.

Although Love arms one with an armor, it simultaneously causes one to have a weakness.

002

One day, I was buying fruits at a market near our place. Just as I was focused on selecting some yellow peaches for Mr. F who really loves them, the guy standing next to me suddenly spoke up, "What are these called?"

I surveyed the surroundings in an attempt to confirm that he was asking me (and not the boss of the fruit stall) before replying, "Yellow peaches."

He nodded his head before asking again, "Are they delicious?"

"Um...... It depends on personal preference."

"Do you like them?"

"They're alright."

After purchasing my fruits, I left the fruit stall. Just then, the guy caught up to me with a bag of yellow peaches in his hand.

"Can I have your mobile number? WeChat is fine too, I just hope that we can be friends."

Is this an actual pick-up line which I thought only existed in legends and myths? I never ever thought that I would actually experience such a situation! I tried my best to repress my delight and answered apologetically, "But...... my husband won't be too happy about it."

The other party was tremendously shocked, "You're married?"

"Yup!" I showed him my wedding ring.