This is a book of opinion.
If you want to improve your writing, I'll try to give you useful tips.
Each chapter will contains my opinion and my rating about it.Three rating to be exact.
Firstly, the personal one.
Secondly, the overall rating; wh...
This story follows an epic quest to fulfill a prophecy to prevent a second war with the all powerful Dragons whom once ruled the world. Unfortunately for our sword wielder of AeonHeart, nothing seems to go his way as many dangers block his path to fulfill said quest. Many fantastic events and beautiful scenery await thee as the story grips you in and never let's go. It is filled with action, romance, and magic!
This is epic High Fantasy at it's finest and all will enjoy!
Comment:
I love the cover, you didn't put any face, just a figure in a distant place. I love when authors don't put any face on their covers and just let the characters features to their readers' imagination. As a critic, I don't mind it's the author's choice. However, as a reader, seeing a face make me lose all desire to read.
The prologue is neither good nor bad, this is your story. However, it contains too much information for a reader to remember everything.
And this is a fantasy story so a fictional world, you need to describe a lot more in the following chapters about the Kaijin, the continents, the Eithen (where is it? In which continent?). You can't expect your readers to remember everything or to read the prologue each time they don't understand or forget something.
While enjoying a book, people will remember the setting of the story better because they are focused on the book and they like the story, so your explanation will automatically be absorbed. But when you do it in the prologue and people aren't one hundred percents involved in the book, your explanation is disturbing.
Some people may stop reading and that would be a shame since your idea is good, (when I was reading chapter 1, I had to go back to read the Prologue again because I didn't know what was "Arvon" or "Dellavore"). I thought "Youl" was a land but when I reached the Chapter 3 I learned it was a person or a "Dwarf" (a blacksmith). And the same goes for "Dellavor". What is Dellavor? I only learned it in Chapter 8 that it was a town because it was confusing when I read "Youl of Dellavore", I thought it was a family name or a clan.
The names of your story are really original, you have a good creativity but as a reader with a normal memory, I wouldn't remember everything. You may use some nicknames, for example, the Zieklendale continent also knows as the southern continent, water continent, etc. But since you didn't focus on it, it's fine.
There was something that kept bothering me while reading, what is Part 2 or Part 3 in the middle of a chapter? Wouldn't it be better to cut the chapter directly? I didn't see any difference with or without them. Instead, you should have used a transition.
