Magcon Imagines/Preferences

You Attempt Suicide

WARNING!: if you cut or are suicidal or have eating disorders or all. this may trigger. so please I Advise you not to read this OR to read at your own risk. and stay strong 💖 love you!

(Read this listening to the SADEST music ever maybe- Skinny love by birdy, breathe me by sia, not about angles by birdy, say something by a great big world)

Cameron:

Hate had been getting to me a lot lately. It's constant plus having Cameron gone a lot and family problems. it's hard, I use to be bullied in school and I never had friends. I always pushed people away and my cutting got worse. well until I met Cameron, he helps me be calm and focused and block out hate. he even threw away my blades. he's so helpful. but right now he's in California with Nash and Carter, while I'm stuck in Tampa, on Vacation. My mom thought it would be good if I went alone on vacation. I don't care what my mom thinks considering I'm 19 and I make my own decisions, but even cam said it would be relaxing. so I did. I went alone. but being me now I feel depressed again and lonely. I log onto twitter and scroll through my notifications. hate. more hate. even more hate. 'oh god your fat!' 'your a thot that dosent deserve cam' 'ew why is a there a cow next to Cameron?' 'kill yourself. worthless piece of shit' 'why does cam even like this freak bitch?!' 'CAM DOSENT LOVE YOU. LEAVE. GO DIE PLEASE!' I started to cry and slammed the computer screen shut. I ran to the bathroom and looked into the mirror I was horrified. I wanted to punch the mirror with such a force it would shatter. but I didn't, I wiped my tears and went to the drug store and picked up a whole bottle of Tylenol. when I got back to the hotel i locked the door and ran into the bathroom. I grabbed a razor I kept behind my phone in my phone case and put the pills and razor on the counter sink. I started bawling and I could barley see my eyes were filled with tears. I repeated a girls words. "kill yourself you worthless piece of shit" as picked up the razor and made almost 25 cuts or more on my right arm and some on my thigh and other arm. I threw the blade some where and didn't even bother cleaning up my blood. I tweeted before grabbing the pills. "your welcome" I tweeted and then cam called as I poured the pills into my hand. They spilled out into my hand and some scattered around the tiled floor mixing with blood drips. i started talking to myself. "I can't drown my demons they know how to swim" I quoted. I cried some more and then thought about cam. I heard my phone ring, then a few more rings as I heard bangs on the front door. I heard cams voice. why was he here. "Y/N!! OPEN UP PLEASE!" I tried to block it out. was I hallucinating? I couldn't tell. I breathe and chocked on tears. I cried to myself and put my hand near my mouth "to wonderland" I whispered. but the door burst open to how Cameron. he was dumbfounded and he started crying. seeing my wrist and the pills. he hugged me. tight. making me drop all the pills. "NOOO! STOP! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!!! YOU MONSTER!" I drop to pick some up but he pulls me up my the waist. "STOP!" I struggle to leave his grip. "KILL ME! I WANT TO BE DEAD!!! I WANT TO DIE! PLEASEEE" I cry into his neck. he rubs my back. "shhhh Y/N. shhh it's okay. it's going to be okay." he kissed me all over my face. "I love you" he cried. "I love you too"

Nash:

I was staying at Nash's place for a while. I waited until Nash feel asleep. in the middle of the night I got up. I ha been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and being super suicidal. I was walking, it was late probably about 2 or 3 in the morning. I kicked pebbles on the road and they rolled. then I started thinking about those pebbles and where they came from and were they were created. then I just started thinking. a lot, too much actually. about me and Nash and just Nash and his life and the hate I get and things people say, and how I have no friends and no life and my weight and face and height and well just me. I hate myself. I rounded the corner to the bridge. it was a low bridge, not over an ocean but over a highway. cars beeped and lights shined bright from headlights. I heard music an the air swish as the speeded by. I didn't write a suicide note and I wasn't going to. I started playing sad songs out loud. and I thought again. because being me I don't ever stop thinking. and I felt regret and worry. I knew killing myself would kill Nash, not literally, I hope. but he will soon get over it and forget about me and find someone new in a heartbeat. I sat on the rail and pretended to go on my phone and look normal and like a casual teenager just so no cars slowed down because they knew what I was doing. none did, good for me. but before I completely stood up Nash called. I decided to pick up. "hey, Y/N where are you, I got up to get some water and you were gone, come cuddle," "wait- are you crying babe?" that's when I noticed I was crying. and finally felt the air push against my stained cheek giving me chills. "baby why are you crying? where are you I here cars? I'm coming to get you where are you?" I sighed and wipe my tears. "I love you" was the last thing I said before I hung up the call. I started over thinking those were my last words to Nash ever. were they right? should they have been more meaningful and long? I sighed again and stood on the sturdy rail. easy to balance on. I flew out my arms and looked down. I looked very far down but probably wasn't. I could see people in cars staring up at me. nows my time. I should go. will people remember me? whatever. no more thinking. I sobbed a little more before I moved closer to the edge. "goodb-" I was cut off when strong hands pulled me down and into there arms. I hit at there arms and tried to get lose. I already knew it was Nash. he was crying. "Stop! stop struggling!!" I bawled and continued to get lose. "I WANNA DIE!! ILL EVEN LET YOU PUSH ME IF YOU LET ME GO! PLEASE I CANT LIVE ANYMORE! I DONT WANT TO!" he pulled me close. "but I want you too. I can't live with out you. it's going to kill me. please stay, I love you so fucking much! your everything to me...s-stay!" he chocked on his words and tears flowed down his face. "just stay with me"

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This is part 1 - Cam and Nash.

Part 2 (tomorrow) - Shawn and Matthew

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